itsdinaah Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) Should I ignore someone who hurt me? Is it effective? I'm not ignoring them in hopes that they will come back or chase me. I'm doing it as a prelude of cutting them out of my life. I don't think they care anymore. Edited June 8, 2015 by itsdinaah More details Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) Should I ignore someone who hurt me? Is it effective? I'm not ignoring them in hopes that they will come back or chase me. I'm doing it as a prelude of cutting them out of my life. I don't think they care anymore. the only person you really affect is yourself by ignorance.....i have found in my experiences that if you dont ignore them and treat them as well as if they had never hurt you at all.....healing happens......you can still be distant......you can still cut people out of your life......forgiveness helps this to actually happen......they dont have such an affect on you anymore and before long it really doesnt matter what happened only that you know you have moved on..and you honestly wish the best for them...thats healing.....it never pays to hurt someone back for hurting you ...it gets to get you twice then..........deb Edited June 8, 2015 by todreaminblue 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 May I ask what was done to you in general without being too specific? Have you already made an honest attempt to reconcile in person? We've all been there. We've all had people who have hurt us and some of us deal with it by being confrontational but most of us do what you plan on doing; that is ignoring the offender. I know it's easy for me to say this behind my keyboard and it's much harder to actually do in practice; but ignoring someone purposely is not only punishing the offender but is very painful (if both of you cared about each other) and takes a lot more exhaustive emotional energy on your part especially if you have to see this person often. If you find yourself in a position where the person you are ignoring is always within close proximity of yourself you will become mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted trying to find ways to be site unseen. In other words you are doing yourself more harm then just punishing the other guy/girl. Ignoring someone is usually easiest on both parties if you rarely ever run into each other or live far away from one another. It's totally within your right to shut out anyone in your life. After all it's your life! Just remember to not sell yourself short by using this passive aggressive tactic and create unnecessary stress just to prove a point because it's usually yourself who hurts the most in the end. If possible allow yourself the opportunity to forgive and the other party the opportunity to accept it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) Well it was someone I liked/loved for a while. They claimed to have felt the same way but the lack of communication shows me that they're full of crap (especially since they're always updating social media). It hurts because they just took advantage of my feelings for them. I'm just trying to move on and I don't know what to do when they contact me next time. I only see them if we make plans as they live half an hour away. Edited June 8, 2015 by itsdinaah Details Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Shunning is a very powerful tool. Use it wisely. Ive done it a few times. Reactions vary from crazy personal attacks to groveling. I'd reserve shunning to people you can really live without hearing or seeing for the rest of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Should I ignore someone who hurt me? Is it effective? I'm not ignoring them in hopes that they will come back or chase me. I'm doing it as a prelude of cutting them out of my life. I don't think they care anymore. Would you want to pay attention to anybody who hurt you? Who cares if they care or don't care, what counts is how you feel and how you want to move on with your life. It's effective for you so you can move past it, forget the pain, the memories and not have any reminders. No contact is for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Thank you all for your kind words and honest advice. I've decided to not ignore but be distant and just let the relationship fade. The forgiveness part is the hardest because I'm still deeply hurt by it but I'm taking the right steps towards the path of happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
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