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Are the guys that are just looking for sex on dating sites too cheap to hire a hooker

Bobbi7

By Bobbi7
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Bobbi7 Established Member

Bobbi7

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I posted before that I was looking for casual sex on my dating profile, then I changed by mind about the whole thing. I mean, why the heck am I going to "give it up" easily to some guy who only wants sex where he can go to craigslist/friend finder or some hooker website and pay for sex? I don't see see a difference. I think I'll pass and find someone worthy who actually wants to date. And its funny how I asked some guys if they ever been with a hooker-they get grossed out about it, like that's any different finding a random **** buddy online.

aloneinaz Established Member

aloneinaz

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And its funny how I asked some guys if they ever been with a hooker-they get grossed out about it, like that's any different finding a random **** buddy online.

 

Of course it's different silly. You're paying a hooker for sex and lord knows how many 100's or 1000's of people she's had sex with.

 

 

If you're looking for just hook ups and sex, you search Tinder or other sites like that and you're not paying for it and hoping they aren't ex-hookers! lol

 

 

I'd truly say that most people over 30 on the dating sites main focus is to find their next partner, not just get laid. Yes, ONS can be common from both sexes but I think the vast majority of people on Match or POF meet people that the date, have relationships with and then marry.

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

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I have thought of this myself. Based on some that I have encountered I wonder(ed) why they didn't just get a hooker rather than a "respectable person" that they could meet on the internet somehow else. And yes, there is a difference. A hooker is someone who is paid to have sex with you, one that you meet online in a "casual" situation is there to fill a certain void. Even hookers can tell you that they have regulars. Why? We're looking for a human connection, the world's full of lonely people.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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There's a stigma attached to paying for it that for some reason doesn't apply to casual sex. I guess it has something to do with the commercial nature of the transaction vs being able to claim "it just happened."

  • Like 1
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Why isn't men giving it up to women instead of you giving it up to them? Why is one of the 2 'giving it up'? isn't sex a fair exchange? sex for sex? He gets sex - you get sex - I don't see anyone taking advantage.

 

Last time I had a no strings attached sex he was younger by 10 years and had the body of an Adonis. Seems to me I was the big winner in that trade.

  • Like 8
toscaroscura Established Member

toscaroscura

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:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Having a nice, consensual hookup is much different than just paying a hooker!

 

If all goes right during a one-night stand, I get to flirt with a beautiful stranger, have a few beverages, enjoy lovely banter, build up that tension, then have some nice sex.

 

With a prostitute, there is a cool exchange of money for goods and services. No guarantee they will like you on even the most superficial level.

 

One sounds a lot more fun than the other! I'm not even a fan of stranger hookups, but even I can see the appeal.

  • Like 5
JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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Hookers aren't cheap. They can run $300 +. You also have to go to where they are and you might not live close. If you're a handsome guy who can score online, you can save your wallet.

 

Also, the guy can add that to his notches.

 

But in a sense, you're right. Guys who pump and dump gals but look down on prostitution are kind of funny.

 

Another reason might be because if he meets a girl online, she might let him go without a condom?:confused:

Dork Vader Established Member

Dork Vader

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Men can complain that numerous women are only looking for an ego boost. I've sent out hundreds of messages and only received responses from a handful.

 

What I find most ironic is it's fairly clear which men just want sex.. If the guy is out of your league then he likely just wants an easy one night stand or fling. Use common sense people and quit giving it up so easily.

 

I have a male friend, his brother recently added me as a friend on Facebook. I found it rather odd that he was "friends" with just about every women on tinder. The guy is a known man hoe, womanizer and in general your typical gym rat. It's fairly clear what is going on. I don't particularly care that women go after him, that's their business.. I just won't touch them after they have touched him. I could say more disparaging things about him, like he was accused of taking advantage of a woman..

 

Male intentions are clear cut and it's easy to tell what a guy wants. It has been my experience with internet dating that the vast majority of people on dating sites are low quality dates. Nearly every single person I've dated from a dating web site was a crazy, a cheater or some other major issues.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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I posted before that I was looking for casual sex on my dating profile, then I changed by mind about the whole thing. I mean, why the heck am I going to "give it up" easily to some guy who only wants sex where he can go to craigslist/friend finder or some hooker website and pay for sex? I don't see see a difference. I think I'll pass and find someone worthy who actually wants to date. And its funny how I asked some guys if they ever been with a hooker-they get grossed out about it, like that's any different finding a random **** buddy online.

 

Why should they pay for it when there are women out there who just want casual sex as well? If you specifically post your profile to say you want casual sex, you're gonna get a ton of guys who want that too. Saying you want casual sex when in fact you are looking for a real dating partner is not the way to do it. If you're thinking that by saying you want casual sex to get more responses and hoping that even though they say they want casual sex, they will decide to date for real, it's not gonna work for you.

toscaroscura Established Member

toscaroscura

Posted
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Male intentions are clear cut and it's easy to tell what a guy wants. It has been my experience with internet dating that the vast majority of people on dating sites are low quality dates. Nearly every single person I've dated from a dating web site was a crazy, a cheater or some other major issues.

 

With the bolded I have to disagree. Some people are very good BS artists, and I have had lots of guys claim they want relationships, but do things contrary to building that sort of connection.

 

Sadly, with the italics I have to agree. This is why I am not currently OLDing. Sigh. :o

  • Like 1
Dork Vader Established Member

Dork Vader

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With the bolded I have to disagree. Some people are very good BS artists, and I have had lots of guys claim they want relationships, but do things contrary to building that sort of connection.

 

Sadly, with the italics I have to agree. This is why I am not currently OLDing. Sigh. :o

 

Actions speak louder their words. Peoples actions will tell you exactly what they want from you. Yes there are some who are good at hiding their intentions. I'll admit I used too be one of them in my younger days... How ever my actions still showed I just wanted sex.

 

Some of the more obvious ones..

 

I would not introduce them to my friends or family.

I would not want too meet their friends or family.

I would be cheap, never taking them out to more expensive dinners.

I would prefer too do activities in which sex was a possibility.

There will be some distance there..

 

Granted not all of those are signs the guy just wants sex. I'm not going too introduce a woman to my family the first few weeks of dating and I won't introduce her to friends the first week or so even if I'm interested. I've also been broke while still having a huge interest..

 

The actions are always there some mens actions are just more obvious then others. Some men might actually do some of the above just too get you in bed. But even still some of their actions will point to just wanting sex.

 

Either way if a guy is really into you he'll wait on the sex.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Either way if a guy is really into you he'll wait on the sex.

if he has self-esteem he'll only wait so long

toscaroscura Established Member

toscaroscura

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Actions speak louder their words. Peoples actions will tell you exactly what they want from you. Yes there are some who are good at hiding their intentions. I'll admit I used too be one of them in my younger days... How ever my actions still showed I just wanted sex.

 

Some of the more obvious ones..

 

I would not introduce them to my friends or family.

I would not want too meet their friends or family.

I would be cheap, never taking them out to more expensive dinners.

I would prefer too do activities in which sex was a possibility.

There will be some distance there..

 

Granted not all of those are signs the guy just wants sex. I'm not going too introduce a woman to my family the first few weeks of dating and I won't introduce her to friends the first week or so even if I'm interested. I've also been broke while still having a huge interest..

 

The actions are always there some mens actions are just more obvious then others. Some men might actually do some of the above just too get you in bed. But even still some of their actions will point to just wanting sex.

 

Either way if a guy is really into you he'll wait on the sex.

 

Well, that's the thing, isn't it? It's often too soon to discern any sort of action at all, although my experience OLDing has taught me many things. My list of flags that a man isn't serious/only after sex are as follows:

 

-is extremely flaky and hard to pin down

-text conversation gets sexual too soon (like before even meeting)

-won't invest much time or money into dates (we agree on this)

-suggests "house dates"

-either coming on SUPER STRONG right away, or being so distant so as to be a non-entity. There is a happy medium that's hard to quantify but when it's there I know it

-too much "ex talk", or seeming to have a harem of female friends that he is always talking to.

 

And as far as waiting for sex goes, I've heard that, but I have also heard that women wanting men to wait for sex is "playing games", not being an "adult", or a sign that I am sex-negative.

 

I guess what I'm saying is, it's not always "fairly clear". It might seem that way to you, since you are a man, I don't know. But I have been left scratching my head on more than one occasion.:confused:

empresario Established Member

empresario

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Prostitution is illegal and has a stigma attached to it. Plus since it's not government regulated disease is a factor to consider.

 

To be honest, I don't know why guys go to OLD for hookups anyways. The numbers are already against them. Does playing the creep actually ever work? I would be blown away if it does. Even as an in shape, attractive (and might I say grammatically literate) entrepreneur my response rate is like 20%. It is completely a numbers game. I only do as well as I do because I'm a good writer and actually read their profiles.

 

Then again I never tried the creep technique...maybe it works. I just know women complain about how crappy the guys the are on those sites. The horror stories I've heard...

  • Like 1
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
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I posted before that I was looking for casual sex on my dating profile, then I changed by mind about the whole thing. I mean, why the heck am I going to "give it up" easily to some guy who only wants sex where he can go to craigslist/friend finder or some hooker website and pay for sex? I don't see see a difference. I think I'll pass and find someone worthy who actually wants to date. And its funny how I asked some guys if they ever been with a hooker-they get grossed out about it, like that's any different finding a random **** buddy online.

 

It is different.

 

Just because someone's looking for casual sex online doesn't mean they always look for that. A hooker on the other hand, you know this is their job and they've likely slept with many many men, even many men that day. A fccuk buddy online, while this is possible, it's less likely that that's the case for them and it will likely feel more personal than hiring a hooker then paying. The fcccuk buddy is still within the realm of more personal interactions except you've both made it explicit you want sex, whereas with a prostitute, esp if you've never had a prostitute, will be more awkward and way less personal. While I don't think most booty call scenarios progress to more I think with that kind of thing it's at least a little more possible that you could end up liking the person unlike the hooker scenario.

 

You were also looking for casual sex, so I'm a little confused why you've placed it all on the guys. I thought you put on your profile that that's what you wanted?

 

I've never looked for that so I don't know the logistics of it, although I've had booty calls and FWB. But usually it starts out that we went on dates before, we spoke to each other for a little while (texting, calls etc) and liked each other well enough but maybe not to be in a relationship and so it became mostly a hang out and we can have sex thing. Is that casual sex to you? To me it is, but I also get the sense that sometimes when people say casual they just mean like hooking up with people you don't know. one night stands, being online looking for sex....I mean maybe ultimately a lot of men in OLD are looking for sex, but that's an end goal after dates or doing other things. But do you mean casual sex like you aren't interested in getting drinks, dinner, doing anything, just literally, exchanging numbers and meeting for sex?

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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good looking call girls with a college degree aren't cheap....

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

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Oh, so if I want sex I automatically have to hire an escort?

 

I think most people prefer to have a relationship (and get regular sex with someone they have the hots for), but why can't 2 people on a first/second date just say screw it and hook up?

 

Women shouldn't be so vain to think the only reason a guy wanted to have sex with them on the first date was because they were ONLY after sex. Maybe he just didn't see them as relationship material ;)

 

Some Women are equally OK putting out on a early date if they don't see things going forward, but they're horny and want their needs met.

Vintage79 Established Member

Vintage79

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Men can complain that numerous women are only looking for an ego boost. I've sent out hundreds of messages and only received responses from a handful.

 

Dork - you must be doing something wrong with those statistics - you should try something a bit different, as you should be able to get that kind of resonse rate from a cut and paste generic one liner. I get responses from about 2 out of 3 messages sent...while I don't doubt that there are plenty of women online looking for an ego boost - my stats suggest that most are wanting to meet someone.

PogoStick Established Member

PogoStick

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Say WHAT?!

 

Mutually attracted, free, casual sex is the same as one-sided, only-for-money sex? :eek:

spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

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Yes, I do think some guys are just using online dating to get sex without emotional connection for free. They don't want to pay for a hooker because:

 

- they prefer to cherry pick the women they see on the dating site, go for ones they find attractive, even though they probably won't stay

 

- hookers cost money and the guys want to feel 'wanted' even though they are probably going to be very casual with the woman they do find

 

- they look for someone who seems fairly modest and restrained because it is less likely she will have caught something

 

I know it's a very jaded view of guys online but you can tell what a guy is looking for in the first few sentences exchanged. The guys I'm talking about do not have empathy. Not only are they not looking for a meaningful relationship, they are incapable of forming one.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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I think the OP misses the point about what a man feels when he gets laid.

 

It's not just about the friction / feeling. We can do that part mostly ourselves.

 

Its not about the just getting laid = paying for it laid.

 

 

It's about the "I was so good at (whatever) that I got her to WANT to have sex with me"

 

It's a victory, not just an act.

  • Like 1
alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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The people who get hookers are too cheap to look for a girlfriend.

girlfriend or hooker, either way you are going to pay in some form

doeblin Established Member

doeblin

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I know it's a very jaded view of guys online but you can tell what a guy is looking for in the first few sentences exchanged. The guys I'm talking about do not have empathy. Not only are they not looking for a meaningful relationship, they are incapable of forming one.

 

What? Don't be so harsh! People sometimes want different things at different points in their lives.

 

There are periods when a person just wants casual NSA sex. Nothing wrong with that. The very same person could have been in a serious relationship 4 months before or the very same person might be in a serious relationship after.

 

I've never been with a hooker, but I imagine it feeling phony, contrived, and mechanical. On the other hand, casual sex between two non-professionals can be wonderful.

 

Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with making tactful innuendos early on in the conversation in order to imply what is going on. (Without breaking a magic! "DTF?" or "Sit on my face!" is not too charming to say the least.)

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