HorseLuck Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/531556-dumped-yesterday It was a short lived relationship, and I probably shouldn't be so angry. But I've never felt more rage towards a guy than I have this one. I've never retaliated. I feel as if I need to hit him where it hurts. When I saw him in the club yesterday, it sent me over the top. The plan originally was to go to the club again, and when I catch him, deck him, spit in his face and tell him off. Or tell a girl he approaches that I caught something from him. My only fear with the physical part is acquiring an assault charge. But I feel like if i do nothing, i let him win. I let him get away with what I perceive to have been a huge lie/manipulation. I'm willing to listen to not doing anything, but I need convincing as to why and how that's suppose to help.
jen1447 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 If you kick his ass in public you'll probably go to jail. You don't want that. You're obvs pissed right now so I won't tell you to be all angelic but please don't beat him up.
loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I know you're mad. I've felt the same. Take all that rage and put it into yourself. Improve something about you that will help you be better than him, while he remains the same old loser. "The best revenge is living well." Terrible people get what they deserve, their whole lives long. You'll be able to laugh as life gets revenge for you. 2
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Let's look at the issues with seeking this revenge on your ex: 1. You'll make a complete fool of yourself in public. 2. You will get kicked out. 3. You may be arrested/have charges pressed against you and have a record. 4. You will always be the "crazy ex" after that. 5. It will do nothing but temporarily hurt him, while you still are emotionally hurting even longer. Don't do it. Just go NC and be happy with your life. That's the best revenge. 3
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 He broke up with you. It's his right, he's entitled, he did nothing wrong, your anger and need to retaliate is completely abnormal and unhealthy. Your reaction to a breakup following a 3 month relationship is completely over the top. Seek professional counseling, you sound like you're becoming unhinged. 5
Author HorseLuck Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 I know you're mad. I've felt the same. Take all that rage and put it into yourself. Improve something about you that will help you be better than him, while he remains the same old loser. "The best revenge is living well." Terrible people get what they deserve, their whole lives long. You'll be able to laugh as life gets revenge for you. I have a hard time believing in karma. That isn't always the case, don't you think? What if he has an amazing life. He use to be an addict. I do hope he relapses. In all honesty..I feel as if me not doing anything makes me look like a p*ssy. I'm generally a meek, sweet girl. I've let people walk on me for a good portion of my life. Maybe that's why it's hitting hard. I don't want to just keep my mouth shut and pretend I'm not pissed. It's not ok. I wanted to explode in the hopes that i'd feel better. I wouldn't pursue after that. Let's look at the issues with seeking this revenge on your ex: 1. You'll make a complete fool of yourself in public. 2. You will get kicked out. 3. You may be arrested/have charges pressed against you and have a record. 4. You will always be the "crazy ex" after that. 5. It will do nothing but temporarily hurt him, while you still are emotionally hurting even longer. Don't do it. Just go NC and be happy with your life. That's the best revenge. My only issue with this list is #3. How will I hurt longer? The other option was f*cking one of his friends...I would make it my mission week after week to hunt them down in the club. He needs to get f*cked over.
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 The other option was f*cking one of his friends...I would make it my mission week after week to hunt them down in the club. He needs to get f*cked over. Hi. I'm one of his buddies. Nice to meet you. 1
Author HorseLuck Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 He broke up with you. It's his right, he's entitled, he did nothing wrong, your anger and need to retaliate is completely abnormal and unhealthy. Your reaction to a breakup following a 3 month relationship is completely over the top. Seek professional counseling, you sound like you're becoming unhinged. Yea he was wrong Wizer. He didn't speak up for those 3 months when he had a concern in the first place. He made promises and spoke of the future. I did nothing wrong. I thought everything was good, and he acted accordingly too.
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I have a hard time believing in karma. That isn't always the case, don't you think? What if he has an amazing life. He use to be an addict. I do hope he relapses. In all honesty..I feel as if me not doing anything makes me look like a p*ssy. I'm generally a meek, sweet girl. I've let people walk on me for a good portion of my life. Maybe that's why it's hitting hard. I don't want to just keep my mouth shut and pretend I'm not pissed. It's not ok. I wanted to explode in the hopes that i'd feel better. I wouldn't pursue after that. My only issue with this list is #3. How will I hurt longer? The other option was f*cking one of his friends...I would make it my mission week after week to hunt them down in the club. He needs to get f*cked over. The only thing that "f*cking" his friends will do is make you seem desperate, and to be frank - slutty. 4
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Yea he was wrong Wizer. He didn't speak up for those 3 months when he had a concern in the first place. He made promises and spoke of the future. I did nothing wrong. I thought everything was good, and he acted accordingly too. People are fickle, feelings change. It happens, all the time. It's not wrong and it doesn't mean he deserves to be spit on, publically humiliated, or having his car keyed. Your reaction to the breakup is extreme. 2
Author HorseLuck Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) The only thing that "f*cking" his friends will do is make you seem desperate, and to be frank - slutty. Maybe it would help me to move on though? Don't care if i appear slutty either. I can't agree with you right now wizer, even if you're correct. I know there's some truth behind that. And I have a therapist for something unrelated. Edited June 8, 2015 by HorseLuck
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Don't care if i appear slutty either. Somehow I knew you were going to day this. And I have a therapist for something unrelated. Just for kicks and giggles next time you visit the therapist, mention your plans about keying his car, screwing all his friends, and spitting on him in a nightclub. Please. 2
Author HorseLuck Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Somehow I knew you were going to day this. Just for kicks and giggles next time you visit the therapist, mention your plans about keying his car, screwing all his friends, and spitting on him in a nightclub. Please. It's already been taken note of. She knows and she didn't exactly sway me away from that. Well the assault charge, sure.
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Maybe it would help me to move on though? Don't care if i appear slutty either. I can't agree with you right now wizer, even if you're correct. I know there's some truth behind that. And I have a therapist for something unrelated. You will feel good for a few days. Heck, maybe even a few weeks. Eventually, though, you'll feel very foolish. You'll look foolish, too. Like I said before, you'll always be the crazy ex from that moment after. The feeling of vindication from revenge is temporary. It won't help you move on.
Author HorseLuck Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 You will feel good for a few days. Heck, maybe even a few weeks. Eventually, though, you'll feel very foolish. You'll look foolish, too. Like I said before, you'll always be the crazy ex from that moment after. The feeling of vindication from revenge is temporary. It won't help you move on. *sigh* Has anyone never felt like a loser for not doing something? I don't think it makes me a bigger person at all. And if i was the crazy ex, whatever. I have no intention of trying to get back with him. 1
Fleur de cactus Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Dont be aggressive, assaultive, because in addition to be arrested, you will give him and his friends a reason to think that you are a bad person and he was right to dump you. Dumping exist, you should move on. Some one here gave you a good advice live well and he will hear good things about you. Seriously dumping is not a good thing but why do you have so much anger that you want to hurt him? Because he dumped you? Are you going to be like this each time a relationship does not work? Maybe there are others things you did not tell us, like in what circumstances he dumped you. I hope you will feel good soon and forget about him and move on. 1
Author HorseLuck Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Dont be aggressive, assaultive, because in addition to be arrested, you will give him and his friends a reason to think that you are a bad person and he was right to dump you. Dumping exist, you should move on. Some one here gave you a good advice live well and he will hear good things about you. Seriously dumping is not a good thing but why do you have so much anger that you want to hurt him? Because he dumped you? Are you going to be like this each time a relationship does not work? Maybe there are others things you did not tell us, like in what circumstances he dumped you. I hope you will feel good soon and forget about him and move on. The link is posted with details Fleur. I hope i'll feel good soon too.
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 She knows and she didn't exactly sway me away from that. Your therapist didn't exactly sway you away from keying his car, spitting on him, publically humiliating him, and screwing all his friends to get back at him? Get a new therapist. 3
SammySammy Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Ideas? Yes. It would allow you the chance to fully express yourself - your entire range of emotions - but, require you to grow. Get in touch with who you really are and go through the process until you completely understand your value as a woman. Understand that lashing out in anger is not appropriate and will not better your life. Do you have the discipline to submit to the challenge? 2
thekarmacist Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 why bother? you pay him the ultimate compliment this way. the best eff you is silence. 1
TrevorDia Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 The guy I punched, ohhhhhh, it was so worth it. I shouldn't have done it, but the second I found out he'd slept with my girl, that was it. Within 2 hours of her giving me a vague description of him, I'd hunted him down to his place of business (which was a school - he was her TUTOR - that makes it sound like she was a child, but surprisingly she was an adult, she just acted like a child all the damn time); I drove down and I was going to kill him. Not only was he a scumbag, he was a scumbag who had broken a little law we like to call "Abuse of Trust" over here in England when he slept with his student. I waited for him to leave the door, shouted across the car park to him, and he comes over with his swagger trying to cool down the situation. See, back then, I was a very reserved and somewhat kind person. But after a few years of being stepped on by people, I snapped. The smug look on his face, oh man, I'm glad I wasn't in the car at that point or I'd have run him down. I punched him in the face and he fell down. He started swearing and saying he was calling the police, so I gave him some free legal advice. I told him that I knew that he'd broken a Sexual Offences law, and that if it was ever leaked, he'd never be able to work with children again. Even though my ex was completely of legal age when he slept with her, sleeping with students is a big no-no. He instantly shut up and considered his next move. He seemed to have a little trouble working that one out, so I told him what his next move was. I'm not proud of this, but I essentially robbed him. I told him that he was never going to see her again, and I told him he was going to pay for my petrol. Honestly, the most satisfying thing was seeing that he had recognised he had no moves left to play. I punched him because I knew he wouldn't report me for it. He didn't know that I'd never have reported him anyway because my ex would have literally killed me if I had. Going down the revenge route is a slippery slope. Once you start down that road, you often can't return. You become a bitter person. And if I may give you some free legal advice that you already know - the assault? That's a big no-no too. Also, spitting is assault too. Keying his car? That's criminal damage. Don't do anything that can jeopardise YOUR future. Oh, and on a personal note, sleeping with his friends? Dude, go sleep with good looking guys. There's nothing about you sleeping with his friends that will make him jealous if he's the one who left you, he'll just be able to compare his experiences with you against the experiences his friends would have with you. At least, that's what happened when I slept with my friend's ex... (Yes, I'm a terrible person. I don't care though) I'm also not a big believer in Karma. Sometimes terrible people just get away with everything. But taking revenge often leads to worse consequences for yourself. See, if you punch him, you get the benefit of having hit him - he gets the benefit of having you arrested. Almost every revenge you can take balances out in his favour. You key his car, you end up having to pay. You sleep with his friends, his friends and him have something to laugh about. Life just isn't fair sometimes. So, bottom line - what's my advice? As someone who has practiced revenge in the past, practices law as a career, and has been jilted by more than his fair share of women - the best thing would be to show him he never meant anything to you, and the only way to do that is by moving on quickly. Go have fun, live your life the way you want to live it, leave him to his substance abuse and show him that you're the best thing he'll never have. 2
elaine567 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 YOU dated for only 12 weeks and "he felt we had nothing in common, he felt we moved too fast, didn't think he was ready to be in a committed relationship because he had a lot of things going on." All perfectly reasonable. You are just dating, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. BUT YOU want to spit at him, deck him, tell him off and f*ck his buddies and get your revenge...???!!! Grow up. THIS IS CRAZY TALK. 5
Torii Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I agree with everybody else here.. You need to think rationally about your decisions, not let your emotions - anger especially - do all the talking for you. You can get in seriously trouble if you follow through, and I guarantee you that there's gonna be some brutal talk going around about you for doing what you want to do out of spite. Everybody gets angry. We all want to hurt people that have hurt us - it's a natural response, but can become troublesome and more than we bargain for when we actually give into our angry thoughts. You need to calm down. In my opinion, you're overthinking and overreacting to the breakup. You've dated for 3 months; barely knew anything about each other on a personal level - besides what you wanted to share with each other and I guarantee you, if you've been acting like this around him, he wasn't being who he really is because of being afraid. People get dumped. It happens, and will continue to happen. Not every person you meet will want to be with you forever and if you have this view, you really need to mention it to your therapists. This outlook isn't healthy for you, or your future partners. Have you ever been in a relationship prior to this? - seems to me that this is your first heartache, and you don't know how to cope with it being like you didn't expect.
OldRover Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/531556-dumped-yesterday It was a short lived relationship, and I probably shouldn't be so angry. But I've never felt more rage towards a guy than I have this one. I've never retaliated. I feel as if I need to hit him where it hurts. When I saw him in the club yesterday, it sent me over the top. The plan originally was to go to the club again, and when I catch him, deck him, spit in his face and tell him off. Or tell a girl he approaches that I caught something from him. My only fear with the physical part is acquiring an assault charge. But I feel like if i do nothing, i let him win. I let him get away with what I perceive to have been a huge lie/manipulation. I'm willing to listen to not doing anything, but I need convincing as to why and how that's suppose to help. Horseluck, You've seen a bunch of good posts here. Pay attention. There's absolutely NO upside in revenge..... no good for you, and no good for him. I've felt the same at times.... easy to do. Take a big deep breath, hold your head high, and totally forget this guy. A three month relationship should be easy to get over.... there will be some pains and anger... work hard to get that behind and go on with your life! 1
brokengirl85 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Hey you, Let it go. Go to the gym and release that stress you have. Retaliation is not a good option. Think that he's not deserving of your time, your energy, wasted thinking about him. Let him go. He wants out? Alright, he's out. You're sad because he hasn't chose you, because he told you that you're not the one and you probably had high hopes. It sucks but hey, it's life. Don't act lije the crazy one. Honestly. Not worth it. And he'll be reassured that it was a good decision to break up with you. Your best vengeance is to move on. And to reject him ignoring him when he's back to you, in a month or two. You sound a little crazy I have to admit. Maybe he sensed that. Who wants to be with a crazy one? Your anger is out of the top, your ideas about hitting him or spit on him, well...not a good choice. We all have anger over a breakup but we don't act on those. Relax. Seek help if you feel you cannot cope. Eventually, he's not responsive for your acts. You've been used? Me too! Love and learn. Life's unfair. Act like a mature woman.
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