kjohn Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I will be the first to admit that I am insecure about several things, but I work very hard to not let my insecurities show or to allow them to stop me from enjoying my life. I get that everyone is insecure about something and I do have empathy, but my BF's insecurities are starting to become such a huge turnoff for me! The man is hot as hell! He works out. He has a great body. He is incredibly handsome and I tell him these things all the time. Usually he will respond with a joke like " you better get your eyes checked" or something similar. At bedtime he will complain that he is hot but he refuses to sleep without a shirt because he feels fat. I literally beg him to take his shirt off because I love to rub my hands in his chest. He won't do it. Today I took a pic of us laying in the sun in our backyard and posted it to facebook. He had a fit and demanded I delete it because he didn't think he looked good. I swear, he is worse than a woman!! Is there a kind way for me to tell him that his insecurities are really started to turn me off? It's getting to the point that I am finding it hard to empathize and I just get irritated.
TunaCat Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 My ex was extremely insecure to the point where I'm starting to think he dumped me because he was afraid I'd dump him. He never thought he was good enough for me. One of the things he said to me the night he dumped me was "I don't want to hold you back." I am insecure as well, but I work damn hard to not let that interfere with my life. It's hard to constantly reassure the guy you're seeing that you're attracted to him and that you care about him and you think he's amazing. It's utterly exhausting. No real advice here OP as I don't think I could ever deal with such an insecure man ever again. To be honest, I'd probably employ a little tough love to your guy. I'm very blunt and honest and I'd probably tell him that his insecurities are making it hard for me to be attracted to him. 1
StalwartMind Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 In the end it will always be the person who struggles with insecurities who has to make a stance and either act on it or not. I do believe a partner/friend can have a huge positive influence, however sometimes issues are just so deeply rooted into the personality. Even the most comforting, supportive and genuine person will not always be able to help someone overcome this. It can get old rather fast when someone is so stubborn that they will refuse any other idea than what is on their mind. I'm sure many have witnessed this kind of scenario in one way or another. Despite it being a turn off, try to encourage yourself to make this man realize what a damn fine piece of man he is. I've seen someone take well over a decade to finally overcome a long battle of doubt. 2
Otter2569 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Everybody is insecure about something. If it begins to rule your life it is a huge turn off. I have my issues, as we all do, but I know in my heart that I am a really good, kind and caring person. My GF says I walk around like im perfect. Obviously I am not but I am comfortable being me. She on the other hand is a wonderful, caring, giving person who never thinks she is good enough. I hate when she says this about herself. I wish she knew how beautiful she really is.
mystikmind2005 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 when i saw the title of this thread i was thinking it will be about insecurities leading to jealousy and neediness etc. Then i saw he is just insecure about his looks, compared to the issues in my first paragraph, i have to say quite frankly, lucky you!
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