LifeExperiences Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 So for years I've had this problem of falling for girls quite quickly. I don't mean being physically attracted to girls -- that's a given and a constant of life for most men. What I mean is essentially being infatuated with or "emotionally attracted" to girls on a level that goes beyond friendship. This usually occurs under the following circumstances: - the girl is *somewhat* physically attractive to me. However, I usually do NOT find these girls mind-blowingly hot or anything and I don't have a "type" per se. This is part of what is strange about this - we have some chemistry, talking, teasing, flirting. She seems somewhat open/receptive to talking to me - I haven't known the girl for long and/or met her under "special" circumstances, such as during vacations, internships and such. If these factors come together, then chances are that I'll quickly become infatuated with her, even if I don't find her super physically attractive. Even if I'm not desperate for sex. Even if I am in a happy, loving relationship! What I find so strange about this is how easily my emotions can be affected by this. What's especially weird is that I often don't even find these girls attractive (physically) -- the first time I meet them, I'm often like "meh". But the more time I spend with them, building some chemistry, interacting with them and such, I almost inevitably fall for them. Does anyone else have this problem? Do note that I already have a girlfriend, that I'm in my mid 20's, that I am not a virgin (duh), so it's not like I'm just that desperate for some female interaction. However, the whole thing makes me feel a bit helpless, because whenever I spend some quality time with a nice girl, I might fall for her sooner rather than later. Which is irritating, which makes having friendships with girls impossible and which also makes it hard to remain faithful.
Emilia Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Do you love your girlfriend? Because it seems like cravings for intimacy and affection.
Author LifeExperiences Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 it happens regardless of whether I have a gf or not and regardless of whether I love her or not. obv I'm no longer in butterflies-in-stomach mode anymore (LTR), but I appreciate her, we barely fight and I think she's probably a much better gf than any other girl I could think of could be. I don't even WANT to make another girl my gf, even if I could. however, I still crave emotional and physical contact with these other girls that I meet
alphamale Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Does anyone else have this problem? it's not a problem, its the way attraction works.
owlydany Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Im in the same boat. I can count, 8, the times it's happened to me since I was 14 years old till today, that's how meaningful the connections have been that I remember each and every one of them. The 7th became my gf for 2+ years, yay, Im currently trying to either shake off/go for the 8th one! I have no idea what it is about though! None of them would be classified at hot nor ugly (well one by many people but to this day I dont see it) and the only thing that caused it was spending time with them. If I had to take a guess it would be that I usually try to keep the people I interact with to a minimum (no more than 4 friends, a few acquaintances) and when someone new comes in and I like them I immediately try to not let go
smackie9 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Possible OCD.....If it starts to interrupt your life and relationships, then it's a behavior problem and might be something a therapist needs to look at.
Author LifeExperiences Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Possible OCD.....If it starts to interrupt your life and relationships, then it's a behavior problem and might be something a therapist needs to look at. could you elaborate? what does OCD have to do with this?
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