nadine5 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Sooo, 4-5 month relationship. He doesn't think it's working. I said we met at the wrong time. He said that's probably the case. He said we should take a break for a couple of weeks and then hang out. ...this doesn't look good, does it? -_-
Author nadine5 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 Here's my original post if you're interested. I met this guy C in December. We are both early 30s. He and I had a lot of mutual friends. At first I wasn't sure about him, I didn't even know if I liked him, but he charmed me so hard. He went out of his way for me, made little gifts for me, took me out different places. We had sex all the time and he was very attentive to my needs and it was great. He couldn't get enough of me, always passionately kissed me and couldn't keep his hands on me. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I was hesitant because I've been hurt so badly so often in the last couple of years but I caved because he was so wonderful and so sweet and we had so much fun together. Well, inevitably, I fell in love with this guy. And unfortunately, when I fall in love with someone I tend to start to feel a little insecure....you know, the hurt-in-the-past thing again. The little actions that C did for me in the relationship slowly started fading away. He stopped wanting to see me on certain days of the week. Stopped having sex very often (almost three week hiatus at one point). Kissed me hello but that was it. Still texted me regularly. Of course, I absolutely freaked out. I started picking these little battles with him for the last month... asking him why this and why that. He said nothing has changed. My friends just thought he was getting lazy in the relationship. He still saw me on days that we usually hung out but it seemed different. Sometimes it was still great though, it was about half and half great days full of love and the other half just more like buddies. So on Tuesday I went to his basketball game, just like I do every Tuesday as supportive as I am. When I get to his basketball games he usually comes over and kisses me hello and then we go out to eat afterward. Well this Tuesday I was all sorts of insecure when I got there, and all he did was give me a little wave hello, and when the game was over I snapped at him for not saying hi to me. Not exactly my best choice but I've been really nervous about the relationship for a couple weeks. We also had a big fight last Friday night about him not texting me to check up on me and make sure I was ok when I hung out with my girl friends. So he left me, and texted me and ended the relationship. He said we were not compatible, it wasn't going to work, we weren't the same, I was too sensitive, the chemistry was gone. He told me this over and over as I pleaded and begged. I texted him all night knowing he would get it in the morning, saying I could change and please give me another chance. Wednesday morning he reiterated that the relationship wasn't going to work. I texted him sobbing and pleading for about five minutes, asking to start over, and he said "Well if you want to take a break for a few days and talk on Monday we can do that if you can handle it." So I don't know what this means. So like an idiot, I called in to work on Wednesday and got wasted at a college pool and texted him over and over. Every time I asked him to give me another chance he said we should clear our minds and think about things and decide what we both want and talk on Monday. I am very impatient and I don't know what this means. I discussed it with my friends and they think he just wants me to stop texting him for the weekend, the relationship is over and I should just accept it. Today I told him I felt like his mind was made up so what is the point. He said part of our problem is I need to calm down (true). He brought up talking on Monday again and that we both need a couple days to think what we both want. I don't know what to do. I'm flipping out. I'm not going to text him any more today but I am so devastated. Do you think he just wants to break up with me on Monday so I stop texting him all weekend like my friend said? I know I need to stop texting him, so I'm definitely done doing that. If you told your bf/gf what he told me especially after telling me we were DONE so many times, do you think he might want to work on it or do you think this relationship is completely over?? I'm heartbroken. Thank you for your help.
DexterLS Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Sooo, 4-5 month relationship. He doesn't think it's working. I said we met at the wrong time. He said that's probably the case. He said we should take a break for a couple of weeks and then hang out. ...this doesn't look good, does it? -_- No it does not. You should have initiated No Contact on Friday.
lana-banana Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Demanding several weeks of space after just a few months? This isn't a break, it's a break-up. This guy doesn't want to be with you but doesn't have the nerve to admit it. You need to consider yourself single and should decline his offer to "hang out" in a few weeks. 2
ZiggyZoo Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 (edited) Yeah, I think he's trying to avoid any more of the crazy non-stop begging, crying, and texting drama by saying it's a break. He's already broken up with you a few times, and I'll bet he only changed his mind to get you to calm down. I'm not judging, I've done exactly that myself in the past, and I cringe when I look back. Your best bet is to go NC completely. Save your dignity, and give him his freedom. Why would you want to be with a guy you have to beg to be with you anyway? Hang in there, you'll get through this. Edited June 8, 2015 by ZiggyZoo
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