Summer42 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Hi guys, Been with my partner for a year now and while I love him... I'm not sure we are meant to be together. Circumstances threw us together at the start and things moved very quickly, I'm on 22 and I'm feeling like I want to be single to go and live my life and find what I want in life. I'm in a very safe and loving relationship but I feel the chemistry has gone. Our physical side has faded totally and there's no desire. I feel annoyed at him a lot and don't feel as dependant on him now. That being said, he is a lovely man and I adore him. Help???
DexterLS Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 It's a typical case of "You love him but not in love with him". Please be honest with him and end the relationship as soon as you can. Once you have done this, please do not give him any hope or try to stay friends with him to "help him" through the breakup. It will do more harm than good. All the best. 1
aloneinaz Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Dexter NAILED it.. There's nothing wrong in ending a relationship as long as your kind, use tack and don't leave any doubt that you have no intention of reconciliation in the future. You never know, he may feel the same exact way and feel relieve to be done with it. 1
ravfour4 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I think the question is - do you want it to work? If you sincerely to do, tell him clearly what your issues are and say you want to work on them. If you don't and you want to be single and he annoys you, just like Dexter said, be honest, break things off and let him be.
Pastmen Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 It looks like you've already made the decision yourself... My girlfriend broke up with me for the same reasons. Our relationship was very secure, we never argued or had any problems but it just got too boring for her. She told me she didn't want to be hold back by me and she wants to explore everything as she is still young now. You're feeling the same right now and as a dumpee, coming out of the same situation I advice you to just break up with him. I would tell my ex the same right now. If you don't feel like you want to be in a relationship with someone than end it. The longer you wait the longer he's gonna be hurt from it and the longer you waste your life and also his life. 2
Author Summer42 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Thanks for your replies!!! Yeah I feel if I end it, I may regret it down the line. I feel like I should be more grateful as he treats me like his queen. But there's an age gap too and I feel a lot less mature than him. I've literally just finished uni as well which I think comes into it a bit. I feel so bad for him :(
imbax Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Hi guys, Been with my partner for a year now and while I love him... I'm not sure we are meant to be together. Circumstances threw us together at the start and things moved very quickly, I'm on 22 and I'm feeling like I want to be single to go and live my life and find what I want in life. I'm in a very safe and loving relationship but I feel the chemistry has gone. Our physical side has faded totally and there's no desire. I feel annoyed at him a lot and don't feel as dependant on him now. That being said, he is a lovely man and I adore him. Help??? my ex-girlfriend broke up with me for the exact same reasons.
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Thanks for your replies!!! Yeah I feel if I end it, I may regret it down the line. I feel like I should be more grateful as he treats me like his queen. But there's an age gap too and I feel a lot less mature than him. I've literally just finished uni as well which I think comes into it a bit. I feel so bad for him :( You shouldn't be with someone you feel pity for. 1
mystikmind2005 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Might be worth doing some research on relationships and related emotions just to make sure there is no issue with you that can follow you to the next relationship and spoil that one too. I have seen too many people who jump from relationship to relationship and never find satisfaction, don't become one of them. 1
kasop Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Sounds like your asking LS how to dump your bf. You have allready made up your mind. Do it. Go nc. No bread crumbs. Give him the chance to heal.. who knows we might see him here at LS soon.
aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Yeah I feel if I end it, I may regret it down the line. Make sure you're 100% sure you will never want him back if you get lonely, horny, have no luck meeting someone better, etc.. When I ended relationships, I KNEW I'd rather be alone and lonely than continue on with the relationship. Why, cause many people (including me) when dumped never want anything to do with the dumper again. I feel so bad for him :( This statement says you need to gently let him go to find someone who will appreciate being treated like a queen and find someone that rocks your world. Sure, most people don't want to hurt anyone, especially someone they once loved. But doing this sooner rather than later is your final act of compassion for him. It will allow him to move on quicker.
spiritofjosh Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 The way I see it, if you have doubts eventually he'll start to pick up on it then he might start to realize the chemistry is going and end it himself. Guys can be aloof but not always oblivious. Problem I see here is what I'll make a bet happens; you break up with him then a month or two later, or even a couple weeks, you'll notice the void left that he's gone and will probably convince yourself you made a mistake. My advice before taking everybody's advice here to just end it is talk it out with him first and tel him exactly what you have to say here. If you have any thought of actually ending it, what do you have to lose? 1
mystikmind2005 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 The way I see it, if you have doubts eventually he'll start to pick up on it then he might start to realize the chemistry is going and end it himself. Guys can be aloof but not always oblivious. Problem I see here is what I'll make a bet happens; you break up with him then a month or two later, or even a couple weeks, you'll notice the void left that he's gone and will probably convince yourself you made a mistake. My advice before taking everybody's advice here to just end it is talk it out with him first and tel him exactly what you have to say here. If you have any thought of actually ending it, what do you have to lose? Yes, you do need to learn the art of communication because that is what will get you through the highs and lows of any relationship. Is it wise to trust 'emotions' to give you that solid foundation? No way, that is what is known as a recipe for failure and it will follow you to subsequent relationships, believe me!
spiritofjosh Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Yes, you do need to learn the art of communication because that is what will get you through the highs and lows of any relationship. Is it wise to trust 'emotions' to give you that solid foundation? No way, that is what is known as a recipe for failure and it will follow you to subsequent relationships, believe me! Right. I feel a lot of people, including me at times, will run into a small problem and jump to ending the relationship as the only solution before talking it out first. If you or anybody has thoughts of a relationship potentially not working and thinking of ending it, talking it out will either make you feel better or make the decision to end it more clear if push comes to shove. 1
Manchester45 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Before taking any rash decisions. Think everything through. Have you had an open and honest heart to heart talk with your partner? Relationships need work and effort to keep the spark alive. No one knows anyone's destiny. I am a believer of "You make your own destiny". You have the choice to choose whether to invest in this relationship or to end it,but you seem to be unsure. Communication is key as always. Love is like a flower, if you stop watering it, it will not blossom. On the other hand if you water it, it will blossom. It's common nature. Wish you luck, wisdom and the guidance from the angels. 1
Pastmen Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I wished my ex had read this post and that she would've communicated with me first about her issues instead of just breaking up with me out of the blue.. She kept her feelings with her for a long time while I didn't notice it and then when she finally broke up with me it was the last thing I would've expected that day. I'm saying this because if you really care about him you talk about it with him first. I know it's scary my ex said she found it even to scary to talk about it with me but it's for the best. And it would be selfish for you to not really express your feelings to him he needs that to move on later as well. Talk about it and then you can judge from the outcome of that conversation whether you want to stay with him and give him another chance or to end it with him.
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