Redemption04 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 (edited) Recently been hanging out with a man, and initially was sure we were just "catching up" and now I'm starting to wonder if he means something by it. I grew up with this guy. My earliest memories of him are at about 11 years old, with him beating on me (to his mother's chagrin). According to her, I was like is first crush and he couldn't really figure out how to cope with that. Fast forward to the summer before college started--We had a brief one month "something". He liked me, I liked him, but we were both pretty naïve, clueless, and he couldn't figure out what he was doing and ultimately blew it. Telling me something like he couldn't date me. Naturally, that hurt me, and we stopped all contact. That was 5 YEARS AGO. We haven't talked since, with the exception of some holiday party he turned up at, and was very clearly upset to discover I had a boyfriend. Since then, no contact. Actually, every time we've been in the same room, for years, the second he sees me, he leaves. Life has gone on. I've had relationships, he's had one himself. I'm now a college grad, he's not (he changed majors at the END and has years to go now). I noticed something about his facebook birthday (it said he was turning like 200) last month, and messaged him laughing about it. He wrote back wanting to catch up. I assumed coffee. He instead wanted to go to lunch. We were in the restaurant for 2.5 hours. I thought "Oh, okay, we've finally made peace and he wants to be friends now." He told me he somehow always thought it was ME that rejected him and ended things during our "incident". Then 2 days later, he invited me to a potluck. I went, I thought "Oh definitely friend thing". Then the near daily texting started. Then he invited me to another one of his friends' potluck (where he told me quote, "I don't invite you to these things just to eat in front of you and ignore you"). Then another invite to get lunch. Then yesterday an invitation to go do something with him and his group of friends. Never once has he asked me if I'm dating anyone. I'm about 120% certain he's completely single. The one thing that makes me think it might just be friendly is he's very religious (how I was raised) and I am not. And I've told him that. He's told me quote, "I'm not going to push that on you." If he's looking for the virgin mary, he definitely wouldn't be interested in me. So, does a man in his mid twenties invite a girl to like 5 things in 2 weeks if he's not interested? Is he just SUPER friendly? Edited June 7, 2015 by Redemption04
misspond Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 What do you want from this? Do you want this to be hanging out, or are you looking for the initial stages of this being a potential relationship? If I were you I'd get it clear in your own mind what you're after, and then......maybe ask him what's going on for him? It's the best way to find out
aloneinaz Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Agree^^ You can speculate all day long OR you can simply ask him what this hanging out is all about. Does he want just friends or potentially date again? Maybe ask him for clarity cause you don't want to miss any potential dates.
Author Redemption04 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 (edited) What do you want from this? Do you want this to be hanging out, or are you looking for the initial stages of this being a potential relationship? Honestly, I'm ambivalent. If he wants to be friends finally, that's totally okay with me! But if he's interested in casually dating and seeing where it goes, I'm good with that, too. But I'm not going to chase after him and point blank humiliate myself either way. I live by the agenda men should make their intentions known first. Edited June 7, 2015 by Redemption04
misspond Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Honestly, I'm ambivalent. If he wants to be friends finally, that's totally okay with me! But if he's interested in casually dating and seeing where it goes, I'm good with that, too. But I'm not going to chase after him and point blank humiliate myself either way. I live by the agenda men should make their intentions known first. Well, I do understand that. If that's the case then just go with the flow and try and turn off the thinking
Author Redemption04 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Update: I don't know what his deal was for those short 2-3 weeks there, but as of Sunday he seems to be over whatever it was. He wasn't super friendly to me when I saw him Sunday night, he proceeded to text me the next day, and yesterday (I guess I should probably reply to his last text from yesterday afternoon now)...But there's not the previous amount of questions in there, and no more invites to go to lunch, etc etc. Maybe he saw me on a date (it's a VERY small town), and assumed the worst. Or maybe he's just annoyed by the fact I'm really bad at texting and sometimes take a day or so to text back.
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