OLD Photo trickery / heavyset women

June 7, 2015

Wasn't OLD for women like shooting fish in a barrel? Why would they bother to misrepresent/photoshop their pictures anyway? No experience with it so jus curious.

June 7, 2015

I did Match for years and had plenty of full body pics up. I had trouble with picking a body type though and went for curvy even though im UK size10 ( US size6 i think) but with wide hips. Several guys told me on dates that curvy is a code word for heavier and so i really should change it to something else.

I found that guys lied about their height often. One guy was standing right next to me and still claiming to be 5"10 even though we were the same height. Weird.

I dont see the point in lying..unless you never want to meet in real life ( or experimenting to see how many responses different pics and body descriptions get).

A male friend of mine was on Match and i came across his profile..he was lying about his age..i called him out on it when i next saw him and his reasoning was he feels he has little in common with his age group and he is a 32 yrs old at heart , not a 38.. Told him what i thought of that..

June 7, 2015

I actually jokingly but "not really" ask OLD guys to show me their driver's license on the first date. I am prepared to show them mine too.

June 7, 2015

How many years are we talking when you discovered they lied about their age?

Funny thing, on OKC, at the time I was 41, met this woman, age 43 there. Very slender, beautiful blonde...former underwear model (now works at a nursing home).

We talked on the phone, and it was only on the phone she revealed to me, "43 isn't my true age."

I said, "Okay, I bite, what is your age?"

Her canned response, "A woman NEVER reveals her age!"

That should have been a tip off that she was quite older, because that cliche'd argument is no longer valid and uttered by women of a certain age anymore.

I was like "What the heck, I'll go out with her and I'll eventually find out her age, right?"

Her pictures were as true as her photos, very beautiful woman, but from the wrinkles on her face...something seemed off about her age. She was always putting on her "readers" to read the menu and other material. In good shape for her age, warm smile, etc.

After a couple of dates I was texting her, "So, now that we've been out a couple of times, how about I find out your age?"

She STILL wouldn't tell me...she said since she turned 21 and entered the modeling profession (back then), she never told anyone her TRUE age (at least in social venues).

I said to her, "Well, why lie about it? I mean, wouldn't it be relevant for a guy you're dating to know this BASIC piece of information? I mean, how I do know you're not lying about other things?"

The conversation ended there, never heard from her again.

June 7, 2015

Wasn't OLD for women like shooting fish in a barrel? Why would they bother to misrepresent/photoshop their pictures anyway? No experience with it so jus curious.

They want to be given a chance, they want to be seen and spoken to as a human being, and not just some object with a DD chest and a tight butt.

They think that men are not going to be as superficial to dump them once they find what THEY are like inside and what THEY are all about as a person and a human being and a member of the human race.

Unfortunately they are often wrong, it IS usually all about the DD chest and the tight butt.

June 7, 2015

Are men offended when women ask for good, recent full length shots before the meet up/date?

June 7, 2015

After a couple of dates I was texting her, "So, now that we've been out a couple of times, how about I find out your age?"
.

Why did that matter so much to you? Do you want kids?

June 7, 2015

I think with OLD, men are so used to being ignored and rejected that they are willing to do whatever just to get a reply out of a woman. There are websites out there telling men what they need to say in order to get views/replies online.

As this thread has demonstrated, many women are in the same category. Let's face the truth, not many men or women are interested in dating an over weight person or a not so attractive one. In most cases, these are the folks who are lying about themselves and only taking head shots to hide their bodies.

I've ALWAYS found Match to have better looking people on the site than POF. I had one female friend who ate like $hit, never exercised and was 30lbs over weight. She complained that she got no attention on those dating sites. I was like "Duh, you're single and trying to meet someone! Do ya think it might be a good idea to get your butt in shape"?

I also think it's wrong for people to suggest not putting up full disclosure pictures cause you want them to like your for your personality and who you are. If that was the case, why would sites even have options of posting pictures? OLD is no different than being in a bar. You're going to check the whole person out to include their entire body before you'd approach them. Wouldn't the same be expected in OLD. If men or women have serious self image issues with their bodies, why not address them or correct them before joining a site where you're expected to post full, honest pictures of yourself?

I'll also say in my time OLD, I was asked several times by women for take a selfy before we'd meet. So women clearly are meeting guys that are miss-representing themselves appearance wise as well.

June 7, 2015

Actually, there may be a course in this. lol

My online photos are waist up, and I'll provide more pictures to *serious inquiries.*

That being said, I do see some heavier girls on fb who take pics at an angle so you mostly see their face and big boobs and minimize everything else. I guess it works if it's reeling dudes in, but still...

June 7, 2015

It happened twice this month I was waiting for my date at our point of rendez-vous. Then the guy arrives and introduce himself and right away says he was there already waiting in his car, he just wanted to see me before coming out of his car. Maybe you should do this FF and just drive off if she's not to your liking lol

June 7, 2015

They want to be given a chance, they want to be seen and spoken to as a human being, and not just some object with a DD chest and a tight butt.
They think that men are not going to be as superficial to dump them once they find what THEY are like inside and what THEY are all about as a person and a human being and a member of the human race.
Unfortunately they are often wrong, it IS usually all about the DD chest and the tight butt.

You say women want to be seen as people and not physical objects as human beings.

Are men offended when women ask for good, recent full length shots before the meet up/date?

And then you suggest that women want to see a full length photo of a man as to not represent himself as out of shape.

June 7, 2015

Actually, there may be a course in this. lol
My online photos are waist up, and I'll provide more pictures to *serious inquiries.*

That being said, I do see some heavier girls on fb who take pics at an angle so you mostly see their face and big boobs and minimize everything else. I guess it works if it's reeling dudes in, but still...

It's marketing.

Make-up, flattering or expensive clothes and shoes, jewellery, plastic surgery, boob jobs, dental work, gym training, professional photography, etc. makes everyone look better.

Including photogenic friends and family, flash cars, boats, big houses, travelling, the outdoors, etc in the pics is all done to create the right impression, too.

But if it is truly good genetics that is desired, maybe better the flawed person with essentially good genes, than the fake person with bad genes that have been corrected.

June 7, 2015

It happened twice this month I was waiting for my date at our point of rendez-vous. Then the guy arrives and introduce himself and right away says he was there already waiting in his car, he just wanted to see me before coming out of his car. Maybe you should do this FF and just drive off if she's not to your liking lol

Ha! As a guy, I've done that too. But, I'll say It again, I was pretty good at filtering through profiles and BS. The majority of women I met looked just like there pictures. I rarely emailed or talked to women who only had boob up or head shots. 99% of the time, they were hiding something.

I also figured out that you need to look at women's upper arms in the photo's w/out full body shots. It's a good indicator of what the body looks like below the chest.

It's funny, I remember dates venting about these same things from the women's perspective. The number one thing guys lied about was their height. Often by 3 or more inches. Then, they'd talk about guys wearing hats to hide baldness, always posing by a nice car or motorcycle. Always saying "keep your damn shirt on" when they viewed their pics..

I learned a lot about what works for women on dating profiles and what's a turn off and made frequent changes to mine when I was online.

June 7, 2015

You say women want to be seen as people and not physical objects as human beings
And then you suggest that women want to see a full length photo of a man as to not represent himself as out of shape.

I am suggesting a reason why women misrepresent themselves.
I was countering the notion for some here that women NEED to produce full length pics, else the men may end up being seen out with a fatty. Shock horror!
I am not suggesting that men NEED to produce such pics.

June 7, 2015

Ha! As a guy, I've done that too. But, I'll say It again, I was pretty good at filtering through profiles and BS. The majority of women I met looked just like there pictures. I rarely emailed or talked to women who only had boob up or head shots. 99% of the time, they were hiding something.

I also figured out that you need to look at women's upper arms in the photo's w/out full body shots. It's a good indicator of what the body looks like below the chest.

It's funny, I remember dates venting about these same things from the women's perspective. The number one thing guys lied about was their height. Often by 3 or more inches. Then, they'd talk about guys wearing hats to hide baldness, always posing by a nice car or motorcycle. Always saying "keep your damn shirt on" when they viewed their pics..

I learned a lot about what works for women on dating profiles and what's a turn off and made frequent changes to mine when I was online.

I would make Skype the first date if I ever was single and decided to do OLD. It's a lot easier to turn someone down if you're just on a webcam. Also, I wouldn't adjust my pictures at all. Let them see what I look like, if they don't like it they don't need to contact me period.

June 7, 2015

We don't see much on skype either only shoulders up.

I skyped a couple of time with this man from my city who happened to be out of the country when we connected on POF. When he came back in town and we met he was much more good looking in person than on skype. You know what they say camera adds a good 15-lbs on people.

June 7, 2015

I get a little confused by how this works for some women mentally too.

Most women claim they'd rather meet a guy IRL rather than OLD...but the guy in real life gets to see you and judge you as a whole package, much better than any picture could deliver since you're standing right there. If he wants to check out your @ss or breast, or any other part of you without your consent he can.

I understand on OLD, there's a lot of strange and random men, and it can be creepy for guys to stare at you and come after you for your body parts...but it's in reality the same men that you see on the street and at work every single day, they're just a lot more bold and abrasive in OLD. It's not a certain segment of people that OLD draws, it's just guys act more like how they are in reality than they do IRL.

Everyone in real life has the social condition programmed into them, that is cultural. I've been out here in some cultures where men NEVER stare at women, and men NEVER under almost any circumstances approach a woman...not in a bar, not in a club, nowhere, and never unless really drunk. It's not like the rabid meat market like it is in some other cultures we all know and love so well.

But it doesn't make those men any different, I've talked to men all over...different culture, different behaviors, same male mind. It just simply changes depending on the context of the situation on how he behaves in front of you.

Men (can't speak from a woman's perspective as I don't date men) have to play detective, because it's overwhelmingly more popular and acceptable that women hide any undesirable flaws that may actually have, and furthermore as men we are not allowed to reject a woman for them because we're supposed to like what's on the inside...but the outside is a big deal to men, why is it ok for women to cake themselves with make-up to make themselves look more beautiful while at the same time they can hide their bodies and yet claim they want a man who is honest, genuine and straight-forward?

Women spend loads more time selecting the "perfect" photo, they know all the angles and lighting and everything else...men don't know jack crap about any of this, unless they're the metrosexual into-themselves type. I don't know anything about taking pictures, I can take pretty good pictures of people when they ask me to as I have like depth perception and practical skills like that, but I don't know all the tricks, angles and lighting affects that women are professionals at.

I've taken photos of women and their reaction is "Ew, I look horrible in that picture, delete it"...it looked fine to me, it looked like them...meaning it didn't look ew, just normal.

I can't take a picture to save my life myself, but I still post them..I'm not photogenic, never lied about my age, height or weight...body type I can see being shaky ground and different to according to peoples perception or expectations but although I'm a pretty solid bodied guy, I still don't feel comfortable with athletic or fit, since I'm not lean without any body fat or just bulging with muscles...I'm not "normal" though, I'm more muscular and larger/athletically framed than most guys but there's no way to list something in between so I just leave it as "normal" anyway. And I'll also settle with a less photogenic picture of myself since I hate photos of myself anyway and don't like taking pictures, rather look worse in pictures and better in real life than the other way around.

June 7, 2015

I am suggesting a reason why women misrepresent themselves.
I was countering the notion for some here that women NEED to produce full length pics, else the men may end up being seen out with a fatty. Shock horror!
I am not suggesting that men NEED to produce such pics.

Well. Mostly all heavy women are playing the same game too. I've messaged a bunch of heavy women and not gotten a response.

The fact that OP is expressing it publicly might be considered bad taste, though he is just being honest. He thinks women who are 30 lbs overweight are fat. Women who are 30 pounds overweight (who would have zero problems getting guys) are rejecting guys for height, race, income, face, etc. Probably even for being too fat. So ... it's kinda the same.

The wheels on the bus go round and round...

Edited June 7, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

June 7, 2015

Are men offended when women ask for good, recent full length shots before the meet up/date?

Good question. It would be nice if they all posted full length shots.

June 7, 2015

Ditto to that, I'm a UK'er a size 8 with DD's and I never post up boob shots either.

I know of one woman who used OLD who photo shopped her double chin out and it was quite a shock meeting her at a meet up that a few of us had.
She looked nothing like her pics.

Men also have pics up that don't represent themselves though.
I've had guys tell me that they are a 32 waist - perfectly legitimately even - but then you find they do their trousers up underneath their 50 inch belly....

I saw one guy who photoshopped hair on top of his head! I couldn't believe it! LOL

June 7, 2015

Out of curiosity, I was looking at profiles of women nearby and about half of them are really "sneaky" about the types of pictures they put up. Usually its a pictures of their faces from the neck up. Its just hard to tell, half of the people men and women post pictures of themselves that was taken like 5 years ago! And that just drives me crazy, I can't count the number of times guys have posted photos 10 years ago during their college years! Its a dating site-people are suppose to put "current" photos!

June 7, 2015

And I'll also settle with a less photogenic picture of myself since I hate photos of myself anyway and don't like taking pictures, rather look worse in pictures and better in real life than the other way around.

Yes, but men get away with "normal" pics of themselves, because there is not the pressure on men as there is on women, to look good.

Women almost from the day they are born are supposed to look pretty and the 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, 88...yo version has follow that pattern too. Women who do not look pretty or make a damn good attempt at it, are looked down upon by men.

If she is not "pretty", she is worthless. If she is not wearing make up she is not looking after herself, if she has put on weight she is not going to please her man or any man, is the mantra.

Women can opt out of that "pretty" rat race but she is then denigrated as being a "feminist" or a "lesbo", or a loser, or a "fattie", or an ugly b*tch, or even being mentally ill.

Whatever the label, getting a decent man will not be considered a viable prospect.

That is why women who want to date usually have to conform, they have to take angled pics, wear make-up and make themselves more beautiful than they are, because they know what men and society will think of them if they don't.

June 7, 2015

Yes, but men get away with "normal" pics of themselves, because there is not the pressure on men as there is on women, to look good.
Women almost from the day they are born are supposed to look pretty and the 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, 88...yo version has follow that pattern too. Women who do not look pretty or make a damn good attempt at it, are looked down upon by men.
If she is not "pretty", she is worthless. If she is not wearing make up she is not looking after herself, if she has put on weight she is not going to please her man or any man, is the mantra.
Women can opt out of that "pretty" rat race but she is then denigrated as being a "feminist" or a "lesbo", or a loser, or a "fattie", or an ugly b*tch, or even being mentally ill.
Whatever the label, getting a decent man will not be considered a viable prospect.

That is why women who want to date usually have to conform, they have to take angled pics, wear make-up and make themselves more beautiful than they are, because they know what men and society will think of them if they don't.

Isn't it the same for men though? Men that don't groom, grow a big belly, don't own a decent clean shirt, aren't gonna find many takers.

June 7, 2015

Out of curiosity, I was looking at profiles of women nearby and about half of them are really "sneaky" about the types of pictures they put up. Usually its a pictures of their faces from the neck up.

Is that really being "sneaky" or just a desire not to have their body ogled by all on sundry on the internet?

Some are very proud of their bodies and will quite happily fill their social media with bikini shots, but others are just not comfortable, especially if they consider themselves below the "model" or "hot" standard.

They may be do not want to be made to feel bad over their AAs or treated like a piece of meat because of their GGs or their KK butt.

In public and IRL there is a filter on what people can say and can get away with, online it is open season.

June 7, 2015

Yes, but men get away with "normal" pics of themselves, because there is not the pressure on men as there is on women, to look good.
Women almost from the day they are born are supposed to look pretty and the 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, 88...yo version has follow that pattern too. Women who do not look pretty or make a damn good attempt at it, are looked down upon by men.
If she is not "pretty", she is worthless. If she is not wearing make up she is not looking after herself, if she has put on weight she is not going to please her man or any man, is the mantra.
Women can opt out of that "pretty" rat race but she is then denigrated as being a "feminist" or a "lesbo", or a loser, or a "fattie", or an ugly b*tch, or even being mentally ill.
Whatever the label, getting a decent man will not be considered a viable prospect.

That is why women who want to date usually have to conform, they have to take angled pics, wear make-up and make themselves more beautiful than they are, because they know what men and society will think of them if they don't.

Says the woman who almost broke up with a guy because he had 'short arms'.

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