Mx12345 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I met this guy in August of last year online and we dated for about four months. Three of those months we were not exclusive. We would see each other about once a week and would only text one or twice a week. At the time I was completely okay with our casual dating situation. I was in the middle of moving, was dating other people, and had my own thing going too. Slowly though we started spending more time together, and he would contact me almost every day. I began to really like him. So in the third month I told him I was looking for something more serious so I didn't think we should see each other anymore. To my surprise he said he really liked me and didn't want to stop seeing me. We agreed to date exclusively. That was all fine and well for about a month. Then I started to get the slow fade out from him. Very rarely heard from him and when I did it was only because I contacted him first. I'm not much for confrontation so one day I texted him that we weren't on the same page about being serious, that I liked him more than he liked me, and that I thought we should go our separate ways. He never responded to that text and I was heartbroken. This guy was everything I had been looking for: educated, funny, attractive, had a good job, we had a great connection. Three weeks after I sent that text he texted me that he was sorry he never responded. He said he did really like me and he was sorry that he wasted my time. He said it was a really ****ty thing to only want to spend time together when it was convenient for him and he realized that. He ended it with he thought he was ready to be serious with someone and he guessed he really wasn't after all. As much as I liked him and how his apology sounded sincere I wasn't going to let myself get sucked back in. I told him I appreciated him reaching out and I accepted his apology. Then I told him to take care. Nothing was communicated for the next two months. Three months ago he texted me. It was a screen shot of a story about my favorite 49ers player retiring. Him and I were both really into football and he would always give me crap about my favorite team. Two weeks later my favorite basketball team was playing his favorite basketball team and he texted talking some crap about the game. Two weeks later he texted he hit a job interview at this company he had been trying to get into for months. (A conversation we had when we dated.) I congratulated him. Two weeks later he starts to send me pictures of his newly landscaped backyard, a project he had also talked about when we dated. I told him it looked really good. He asked how work was going for me, I said it was good. Basically he has texted me about random **** every two weeks for the past three months. The most recent one (also about sports) was this past week. The texting conversations are always friendly, never flirty, and never too long. My problem is that I really started to like this guy. We got along super well. I was crushed when he started to do the slow fade on me, and even more so when he just ignored me after I heavy heartily told him I didn't think he liked me as much as I liked him. Why does he continue to text me? He's never flirty. Once or twice something will remind me of him and I think to text him but I never do. I've never been the person to text him first since we ended it seven months ago. Before he text me this past week I told myself if I heard from him again I would ask him to not text me anymore. I guess the reason I didnt is because deep down I still do like him. I'm trying to not let myself get hurt again though. What should I do? Just ignore him next time? Ask him why is he texting me? And why IS he texting me? Does anyone have any advice?
Country_Girl Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Dearie, This sucks, but I think you are no more than an ego feed right now. It's easy to analyze texts messages and wonder why in the hell this person is contacting you and think it must mean something more. I think the hardest lesson I had to learn in dating (and still am)- is paying attention to actions, not words. We change our minds all the time, on a daily and hourly baises. Don't look into the fact that this guy is reaching out. Could be: boredom, loneliness, guilt, lack of options. If he was really missing you, don't you think he would have asked you to go to dinner or coffee by now, instead of hitting you up via text message every two weeks. He more than likely doesn't have any other female options at this point, so you get an occasional text from him- that's just him checking to make sure you're still hooked to the fishing line. Next time he texts, I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of knowing his texts and lack of action are bothering you. That would imply that you still care. Wether you do or not is not the issue, but this guy sure has some nerve thinking he can keep popping in and out of your life. He's not your friend, you guys dated, he disappeared and dint even give you the courtesy of a reply. He waltzed back into your life with no repercussion, so he's gonna keep doing it till someone shiny and new occupies his time. He hasn't even earned a discussion at this point. Next time he texts you, don't even reply. Don't offer an explaination either.
Author Mx12345 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 I think you hit the nail on the head and that's what sucks. He has so many of the qualities that I'm looking for im trying to make these meaningless texts actually mean something when in reality he's probably just bored at the moment. I wish people didn't treat other people this way. Just judging from when we dated I know if he were to text me again and I were to ignore it he would leave it at that. He wouldn't follow up with other texts. And I think that's what I need to move on. Thank you.
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