lovekris16 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I've been in this relationship with this man for a year and a half. And I think its time for me to let him go...but i'm having a hard time doing that. First of all this man has two kids with a woman that is 12 years older than him. A 5 year old and a 10 year old. She is damn near 50 and she doesn't work, she has no car, and she is just lazy. He lives with her b/c he says that him and her wants to keep a happy home image for their children. But my problem with that is he comes to my house with his kids all the time and hes at my house every night. So what image is he trying to keep exactly? I don't trust him. Before me he was married, and he had his baby mamma move in with him and his wife. His wife worked and him and his baby mama stayed at the house. Anyways she finally left him b/c she got tired sharing her husband. He would even go home to his family and take these two women with him. A wife and a girlfriend. I told him that I don't agree to such foolishness and that I don't share my man with anyone. He swears that there is nothing going on between him and his baby mamma and he is just there for his kids. He has problems with holding on to jobs. He has lost several jobs and he claims that its not him. Recently, he quit his job b/c he said he hated the people that he worked with and that they were always hating on him. Currently, I'm paying for EVERYTHING!!! I not paying for anything at his baby mamma's house because I refuse to do that. She is not my responsibility and neither is she his but he feels the need that he has to take care of his children so she reaps the benefits of that. I'm paying for his phone bill, car insurance, gym bills, and etc. Even when he had a job he never helped me with the bills. Jan 2014, I have given this man 6000.00-8000.00 dollars to help purchase him a vehicle. Two months after buying this vehicle he had problems with it and I spent another 1200.00 to supposedly getting the problem fix. ( the dealership fixed everything but the problem but that's a whole another story). I have bought speakers for this vehicle and etc. This past week, the engine on the vehicle locked up and he was advised to get another vehicle. I'm furious b/c of all the money I spent on this piece of trash trying to help him out and now he wants me to help him either get another engine or vehicle. We got into a heated argument lastnight b/c he wants to barrow my car, which i don't have a problem with but i have a problem with his lazy, no good baby mamma driving/riding in my vehicle. I hate this man, but at the same time I really do love him. I have been through so much with him...two abortions....and he got his baby mamma pregnant and I paid for that abortion. Like I said I don't pay for anything at his baby mamma place he does that. He hustle money and I don't ask how b/c i really don't want to know. I have a problem with him driving my car b/c if he hustling money by selling drugs in my vehicle, I will be responsible and I could lose my city good paying job. He hustle women all the time. He hustle a woman from Colorado..he talked her into paying for him to go to New York, and give him thousands of dollars. She was so convinced that he loved her that she and her son was going to move to Texas to be with him. I think he slept with her but he swears that he hasn't although things that she posted on FB says otherwise. I just don't believe this woman was going to move all the way from Colorado to Texas and post untruthful things on FB. Granted, he is at my house every night but that doesn't mean he isn't doing something with his baby mamma doing the day. A couple of weeks ago, he was upset b/c he thought his baby mamma had another man in their apartment. If he's not with this woman, why does it matter right?? I work hard and he waste money on drinking and smoking. He has kept me away from my friends, and he hates when I go to church. He is controlling and very abusive verbally and he slap me once and pushed me i know 2 times. He said I'm turning him into that bad man he use to be. He supposedly broke up with me last night b/c I didn't want him using my car but he wont give me back my house key. He did take his things from my house which wasn't much a few pants and shirts that i never seen him wear. He said his baby mamma is going to be happy to see him moving his clothes back, but like I said it wasn't that much. He said something last night about how good of a man he is and that I could get back to those losers I was with before him and I responded with it will be better than having to deal with you and your baby mamma. He said that i broke his heart saying that??? and I was only acting this way b/c he doesn't have a vehicle anymore and that I only cared about myself and I'm not thinking about his kids. I know this form is all over the place...I'm just venting...I have no one to really talk to.
Yookie Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I'm trying to figure out why are you still with him? Read your post to yourself out loud. Can you see that you're just another woman he's hustling. Please get out for your own piece of mind and safety. On top of all the lying, cheating and scamming, he has the nerve to slap you around too? Sheesh! Also I'd be willing to bet that the a major part of the 8,000 dollars and additional 1200 was used to finance his baby mama's household.
La.Primavera Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Putting up with his living arrangements and supporting him financially are bad enough, but worse than that you are also giving him your dignity and letting him talk to you like you are worthless. You know you deserve better than this right? You really do! He has nothing to offer you other than baggage that you have to pay for both emotionally and physically. It isn't fair. A partner should be your equal in life. He has no right to treat you with such disrespect. Clearly you want more than supporting him and his family for the rest of your life. I know you aren't asking for advice but I am going to give you some anyway. Cut him off financially and cut him out of your life. You have no reason to even justify it, just do it. Your whole life sounds dominated by this free-loader who is abusive and not deserving of you. He needs to grow up and start acting like a man. Free yourself from this messy drama and focus on your own happiness and it will be the best decision you ever make.
smackie9 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Girl wtf, this guy was a loser from the start, you can do better than this. Sounds like you have everything going for you....all this guy is doing is sucking the ever life out of you. Stop dating guys like this and set your standards higher. Remember: don't be a fixer, it's not your job to fix their life.
SummerLuvR Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Look into narcissistic personality disorder.... The only one he cares about is himself. It is going to be really hard to break free, but you will have to do it before he totally breaks you. BTDT but NEVER again!
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