longjohn Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 (edited) Brief history.. I was married (no I wasn't perfect) she cheated, lied etc and bottom line is I'm sure I've residual issues. It's been 5 years already. Well until I met someone last year. So a year later I've some issues with this lady. I'll avoid typing 5 paragraphs and force you to skim over.. here's the issues. She did something that felt like a betrayal when we got together. We still fight about it. I'm right she's wrong, she's right I'm wrong..She has family events which I end up feeling excluded from by her family. Some of them think I'm her ex!!! So I don't go then we fight?!Her parents while nice, are the religious type and seriously believe global warming is a lie and that dinosaurs didn't exist.. they probably believe in the tooth fairy too lol I'm not at all religious nor is she. I can't stand judgmental types and we're on a collision course.To be blunt, I hate to sound like a superficial arsehole but she's gained a massive amount of weight in the past year. It's a big turn off to me. I tried to be understanding and help her along the way but she's having none of it then tries half arsed.She likes her job, then hates it. She's had more jobs than I've had hot dinners. I've had 3 jobs in the past 15 years.Financially she's ruined and refuses to do anything about it. She says yes then does nothing! I've have tried over and over again to help her without any luck. Financially I'm stable.These are the issues and I can't think how to overcome them. Something's in life to me are very black and white and I fix them then move on. To her it's something to dwell over or in most cases she'll stick her head in the sand and hope they fix themselves. As a result she thinks I'm combative whereas I think if it needs done.. it just has to get done. I'm very independent and self made. She's still dependent (didn't know that going in) at times on her parents. We're both in our 30's I don't understand being dependent on your parents and being ok with it in your 30's? She came from money and is used to spending it. I came from nothing and got used to using it as a potential scare resource. Edited June 6, 2015 by longjohn
Satu Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 You have to let other adults to make their own decisions and sink or swim by their own efforts. That's not always easy to do when the person's decisions don't seem sensible. You are only responsible for yourself. 2
aloneinaz Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Brief history.. I was married (no I wasn't perfect) she cheated, lied etc and bottom line is I'm sure I've residual issues. It's been 5 years already. Well until I met someone last year. So a year later I've some issues with this lady. I'll avoid typing 5 paragraphs and force you to skim over.. here's the issues. She did something that felt like a betrayal when we got together. We still fight about it. I'm right she's wrong, she's right I'm wrong..She has family events which I end up feeling excluded from by her family. Some of them think I'm her ex!!! So I don't go then we fight?!Her parents while nice, are the religious type and seriously believe global warming is a lie and that dinosaurs didn't exist.. they probably believe in the tooth fairy too lol I'm not at all religious nor is she. I can't stand judgmental types and we're on a collision course.To be blunt, I hate to sound like a superficial arsehole but she's gained a massive amount of weight in the past year. It's a big turn off to me. I tried to be understanding and help her along the way but she's having none of it then tries half arsed.She likes her job, then hates it. She's had more jobs than I've had hot dinners. I've had 3 jobs in the past 15 years.Financially she's ruined and refuses to do anything about it. She says yes then does nothing! I've have tried over and over again to help her without any luck. Financially I'm stable.These are the issues and I can't think how to overcome them. Something's in life to me are very black and white and I fix them then move on. To her it's something to dwell over or in most cases she'll stick her head in the sand and hope they fix themselves. As a result she thinks I'm combative whereas I think if it needs done.. it just has to get done. I'm very independent and self made. She's still dependent (didn't know that going in) at times on her parents. We're both in our 30's I don't understand being dependent on your parents and being ok with it in your 30's? She came from money and is used to spending it. I came from nothing and got used to using it as a potential scare resource. I'd run from this person. The fact that you're posting this to get second opinions tells me how much this is raking on your nerves. I don't have much patience with people who are financially retarded. Don't feel like an A-hole about her gaining a lot of weight either. That's a turn off for many men. I take pride in my appearance, work out, eat right, etc.. If my GF who was fit when I met her decided to let herself go "cause she caught a man", she'd be kicked to the curb.. How are we suppose to love you when you don't love yourself enough to take care of your appearance?!?!
GemmaUK Posted July 19, 2015 Posted July 19, 2015 You seem to have been having issues for a while and as you have said here and in previous threads you have other options always so you will no doubt too in the future so just end it. Problem solved!
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