treznik Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Im with my girlfriend just over a year. We are both 26 years old from Europe. Our sex life has never been crazy, especially at the start of relationship (Im reading my diary: we had sex 4 times in first 5 months, 7 in 6 months) and now after a year (we had sex like max 20 times). We do not live together and we live 15 minutes apart (driving). Im pretty unexperienced and not 'that' sexually agressive – we had sex 6 weeks after we met. When we have sex she comes to my parents house when i m alone on Fridays or Saturday (im usually alone for weekends – almost every weekend and that is when i invite her to come) for a movie night/me making dinner,having sex… She sleeps over and go home the next day after breakfast – usually till noon she is gone. She is rarely initiator (cca 3 times since we are together). We have never had sex twice in the same day and never had morning sex not even on vacations. It started slow – after 1st sex she had many excuses and do almost everything to avoid any situation that can result into having sex again (she rejected, had excuses when i was inviting her to come to sleep over). An example – after just 3 months since we met she invited me to her mothers 50s birthday which was in 1.5 month (like she is very serous about us), but when i invited her to sleep over the next day she had bs excuse even thoug i invited her one day before so she could make plans. Things like this happened few times… So after that i gave up/stopped inviting her but we were sill together, and few weeks went by, I was already looking for other girls but then things improved. She was more eager to have sex, when she realized Im not inviting her anymore and dont give a f**k anymore. She was inviting herself to my place… she also bought a new bigger bed for her room (she lives with her parents in the house) so i could sleep over too. At the beginning i refused to sleep over there because i felt uncomfortable since her mothers bedroom is next to hers. And also if im honest - because i was still so angry/hurt at all her rejections in the past. That effected me and my confidence badly – i remember I stopped inviting her back then because I rather didnt ask and not get rejected/heard BS excuse. I have always had bad feeling in my stomach when i invited her over so this was me getting little back at her… stupid i know… So after cca 1 year mark sex went down to like once every 4,5,6 weeks - just like in the beginning She just wasnt bothered. She still always touches me, initiates contact, kissing me, is very affectionate , wants to see me, but with sex she just isnt bothered. I talked to her about it but nothing change in the long term – we had sex soon after the conversation/argument about it and then the cycle continue. When i bring it up again she responds – thats life , things comes up in life, what can I do etc.. again lots of excuses because she in not bothered by the lack of sex but she wont admit it. She said it bothers her too, but when there is a chance to do it she always find something more appealing/important. She always had the same defense – we are both to blame and how many times did you sleep over in my room? I said not as many times as id like… BTW she has never denied my advances once we are in the bed, but to get her there is an art… Few weeks back we had our 1st year anniversary. We also havent had sex for like 6 weeks at that time. I bought her a gift, she had nothing for me (which surprised me since she alwas brings me small gifts when she is abroad, on vacation with family, etc… she said she wanted to create something for me but didnt like it, and that she didnt want to buy me just something). I made her a painting and bought a coupon for 40 euros in her favourite hobby-art shop. The next day we went for a dinner – she payed for it. After the dinner i suggested - invited her to come to my place for a weekend and she said she will not come because her best girl friend is coming back from vacation (she was gone for 14 days). She said they will have a drink in her (my gfs) house. So I suggested to come to sleep over at hers. She said 'fine' but wasnt enthusiastic about it by the sound of her voice. The next day i called her to make it sure and she said – id put you in my bed but my sister brought her dog to watch it over and dog can only sleep in my room otherwise it barks around the house. So I said 'did you just rejceted me for the dog??' She said 'no, come on…' I do not like the dog because it s not civilized – it barks and jumps when people come and i just hate it. She knows it. She threats that dog like a person – like a human being.. its so stupid like the dog is a baby. I was so angry at her that i was punching the door afte phone call ended. She rejected me twice after 6 weeks without sex and for what? To have a drink with a friend and for the dog. To feel like an even bigger fool, she ended conversation with the question if im gonna drop by to se her anyway. I said i ll see. After couple of hours i texted her – im going to have a beer with my friends, when you realize that you rather have a bf in your bed then a dog let me know… How would you react??? Dont know how to proceed.. I feel disrespected and unvalued. I mean its pretty much a sexless relationship at 26 and we are together for little more then a year.
Methodical Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Sounds like it's time to move on. You aren't happy and now little things are causing resentment. 5
misspond Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 It's unlikely that this will get better. I speak from experience, even though my situation was different to yours. It's very unaffirming to spend time and energy and emotions on someone who does not want to express that with you physically and trust me, it does huge damage to your self-esteem and psyche. I hope that you can work your way through this and get the h*ll out. 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 When you first start dating/entering a relationship with someone, that's when you have the most sex, and sadly 4 to 5 times in the first 5 months is very very low. So it was clear from the beginning there wasn't going to be a lot of sex from the experienced eye early on...also men tend to believe that a woman might be holding out and might eventually come around. But if it's a woman with a healthy sex drive, she's going to be keen on having sex as well, not to mention if the chemistry is there that makes it an additional challenge for the both of you. Some women hold off on sex to establish a relationship first, others hold out because they're not all that interested in sex...for some women it's a very low priority on the list of other things they desire first...so it sounds to me like you found the latter. She could have personal issues that cause her issues with her sexual and romantic relationships, but that's not for you to assume or figure out...even if she uses that as her defense, you do not excuse a certain behavior because whatever someone says under pressure should've or could've been said a long time ago, don't let it be an excuse when it comes down to saving the relationship. Women prioritize relationships, so much that they just do what they need to do to maintain them...even if romantically they are not that interested, sexually, romantically, emotionally. It doesn't really matter, what a woman wants doesn't often make a lot of sense...but she usually wants A relationship with a guy she considers alright, and that to me is the main reason she even has sex with you, because she knows she has to do it to keep you...but it's a very low motivation for her...whether it be her lack of interest or just desire, whatever it is doesn't matter to you because it's not going to make a difference for what you need. Women can be pretty content in relationships as long as they are satisfied, she seems to be satisfied with the way things are...therefore I doubt they will change, this is a sign you need to move on because chances are she's not going to really care anymore or try any harder, from her perspective it's likely enough and she'll just chalk it up to being something you are making a big deal out of or just incompatibility...women have many ways of evading any responsibility, they don't like negative things that make them feel bad so they try to stay "positive" by encouraging themselves with whatever BS they can take in as a truth. She's clearly avoiding you and showing a lack of respect, I know exactly her type and she will continue to play coy and dodge important topics, she's the kind of girl that doesn't want to rock the boat and doesn't know how to communicate, which are a dime-a-dozen. Her friends know how she really feels and what the problem is, but you'll never know exactly. Now if you flipped this situation around, and were doing something she didn't like...well she'd be raising hell and doing all kinds of tricks and tactics to set things on course...that's how women react, men just try to figure out things logically which cannot because women don't work like that, you just have to recognize the kind of woman you are dealing with. It's not going to pan out for you, it doesn't mean she'd even leave you...a lot of women like I said just want to be in A relationship, this is there whole life goal and personal achievement...they'll go as far as they have to in order to satiate whatever goal it is, she'll get married and have kids even...you have to push most women really far to get them to react, otherwise they just dabble in the uncertainty and don't really do anything in particular to change the situation, they just dream, hope, and make happy thoughts and continue on with their lives...ignoring the reality and situation at hand, that's how a lot of women deal with life, they just don't. You're wasting your time with her, women don't value guys like you...you are too easy, patient and tolerable. The tables need to be turned around in the other way, they're happier that way even if they complain all the time...women tend to like to complain about things, but they get over it and do whatever it is they were doing anyway. And since she's just kind of careless and probably in this relationship for all the wrong reasons, you're left to be a detective and figure it out...but she's not going to tell you, she's not going to say it...if things were flipped around she'd be asking why, why you weren't doing this or being clear and straight-forward...but when it comes to women being straight-forward and communicative themselves they usually back down and retreat into a little cave of self-pity. Don't be a victim of this, the power is way in her hands and that's why she treats you expendable and only musters the energy when necessary to keep you. If you were a jerk, cheating on her or doing all sorts of bad things...never calling her, never showing up when you said you were, never acknowledging this or that, she'd be tearing through the wall just to get your attention. That's how it works...this girl sees you as beneath her and doesn't respect you as a man, she will eventually suck all the confidence and wind out of you and pretend everything is ok. You're going to feel a lot worse as time goes on and it's going to start twisting around your brain...this is the way many women operate when they are in charge, they expect a lot of sympathy and mercy when they are hurting or suffering themselves, but when men are on the receiving end they act like nothing is happening and therefore lock the door and throw away the key. You cannot be a weak man and a fool, women will play you for a fool if you let them...they know what they're doing, they just don't care about it, they don't have guilt because they only are aware of their own pain and feelings. 2
BetrayedH Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 The good news is that if you stick it out with her until her late 30s or early 40s, she'll come around. The bad news is that it probably won't be with you. 7
still_an_Angel Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Being this sexually active seems to be her norm, and its pretty hard to change people. She is LD and probably won't change anytime soon. Its best to have a conversation about how you feel about this and see if she's willing to keep up with you. Otherwise, you might be looking at your other options, clearly you and her are a sexual mismatch.
autumnnight Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I have NEVER seen a case of a sexless relationship getting better. Ever. 6
Author treznik Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 She is LD and probably won't change anytime soon. What does LD mean? Tnx for replies, i hope ill see more of them!
Author treznik Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 Little more info... What im thinking is that maybe i was not spontaneous enough for her? We always did it in the bed before we went to sleep with 3 maybe more exceptions... We never did it in the car since im to big for something like that... How to react when you get rejected for her friends??? that happened couple of times even from the start - that she rather spent time with friends instead coming over to my place and spent the night with me (even if i invited her one day in advance she made other plans). I always pulled back, but i think i looked butt hurt.When we were together for cca 5 months and after 4 weeks without sex - it was a Friday and she rather went out with her friends for couple of drinks then come to me. I told her im home alone and that she can come later but after 2 hours she texted me something like 'we still have a lot to talk about, i wont come, see you tomorrow...' I replied 'have a great time, i do - im jerking off..' that might be immature but you can understand my frustration - new relationship, have a house all for myself for the weekend and she choose to spent the night with her girl friends.... The next day she called me very early like she had a bad feeling and invite me for dinner - i said i have other plans... but i do not know if thats good reaction on my part... how to react in this situation when friends are priority over you? Also... Maybe she got bored with sex but to think back - how can you get bored with having sex less then 20 times in one year... cca once/per month... Even if she was bored that doesnt explain having sex 4 times in the first 5 months... and 5 times in the last 6 months. i think she gave me just the minimum amount of sex to kept me reeled in..The time between (few months) she was pretty sexual and things were good. Im asking you what do you think went wrong? Im thinking lack of attraction - maybe she wast physically attracted to me!? (but again it was like that from the start when an attraction should be the strongest), at the end i pulled back and be little distant as some peoples suggested but that had negative impact on our relationship. As i said we havent had sex for 4,5,6,7 weeks at 26/27... that doent make much sense since she is a great looking girl and can get almost any man she wants... Im asking you all these questions because i dont want to make the same mistakes again and have a gut feeling that I contributed a lot to her unwillingness about sex. Especially because after 6 months she became pretty sexual person (complete 180 degree) for 4 months... then it stopped and i became eunuch again :/ Also she was making fun of me and rubbed it all in my face (when we argue about the lack of sex) how i dont want to have sex in my room when my parents were home, and how i do not like to sex when the lights are on (that happened one time when light really bothered me but she didnt forget about it)... Because of this maybe she lost respect for me in this department - thinks im not man enough and that was turn off for her... She also found out once we were drunk in the club that my best friend know about our lack of sex, so when i was gone she told him how i refuse to have sex when parents are around, how the lights must be off when we do it (as i said that happened only once) and that she would have sex with me in the toilet in the club without a problem but that wont happen since there are lights on in the toilet.... etc... she was talking crap like that after 7 weeks of no sex...i think she just wanted to show my friend how she isnt the problem... Dunno...
mystikmind2005 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Similar thing happened to me, but i was so happy with our friendship and loving relationship i chose to overlook it and married her anyway. After 3 years of marriage and constant sex rejection, i gave up even asking. I thought i will leave it up to her to approach me, 3 years later she did approach me, with a divorce! That woman, as much as i love her, had me looking enviously at men who had been cheated on! I was wishing i had a woman who was interested enough in sex to cheat on me - not healthy at all. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Little more info... What im thinking is that maybe i was not spontaneous enough for her? We always did it in the bed before we went to sleep with 3 maybe more exceptions... We never did it in the car since im to big for something like that... How to react when you get rejected for her friends??? Never been with a woman that was into me and didn't make me a priority, hell...even in one occasion that I felt she wasn't into me, it was still that way...therefore I don't know how to "react" to something I wouldn't tolerate, I would "react" by not being with her...that would be my reaction. that happened couple of times even from the start - that she rather spent time with friends instead coming over to my place and spent the night with me (even if i invited her one day in advance she made other plans). I always pulled back, but i think i looked butt hurt.When we were together for cca 5 months and after 4 weeks without sex - it was a Friday and she rather went out with her friends for couple of drinks then come to me. I told her im home alone and that she can come later but after 2 hours she texted me something like 'we still have a lot to talk about, i wont come, see you tomorrow...' I replied 'have a great time, i do - im jerking off..' that might be immature but you can understand my frustration - new relationship, have a house all for myself for the weekend and she choose to spent the night with her girl friends.... It's one way for a woman to be cautious in the beginning and not want to spend too much of her person time with you or give you too much attention...but the more you speak the more clear it is this girl isn't into, she is hardly dangling on a thread. You also seem to be too passive, but since you're inexperienced it's understandable...but the more scared and hesitant you are, the more women are turned off by you. I know that seems ridiculous being that she is "rejecting" you, but women expect men to be men all of the time...even if it's unreasonable...they are not reasonable-minded people. Also... Maybe she got bored with sex but to think back - how can you get bored with having sex less then 20 times in one year... cca once/per month... Even if she was bored that doesnt explain having sex 4 times in the first 5 months... and 5 times in the last 6 months. i think she gave me just the minimum amount of sex to kept me reeled in..The time between (few months) she was pretty sexual and things were good. She wasn't into you, and she doesn't have a good sex drive on top of it likely...it's hard to say because even women with a low sex drive seem to have sex pretty well and often when they like a guy, it's just apart of the process for them of catching the guy. Im asking you what do you think went wrong? Im thinking lack of attraction - maybe she wast physically attracted to me!? (but again it was like that from the start when an attraction should be the strongest), at the end i pulled back and be little distant as some peoples suggested but that had negative impact on our relationship. As i said we havent had sex for 4,5,6,7 weeks at 26/27... that doent make much sense since she is a great looking girl and can get almost any man she wants... It doesn't matter what went wrong, she probably isn't that attracted or just interested...maybe there's certain things about you she doesn't like, maybe you're just too desperate and clingy and that makes her feel bored and disinterested. You're going to go in circles until you just accept the fact that you're not going to know for certain, you don't get to know exactly what went wrong with relationships...people don't tell the other person, they don't have the balls and they're scared to hurt you or say something that's going to make them look and feel like a bad person. People are bad and selfish, they do what they want to do to get what they want...and lie to themselves in why and how it's ok, and not really bad. Im asking you all these questions because i dont want to make the same mistakes again and have a gut feeling that I contributed a lot to her unwillingness about sex. Especially because after 6 months she became pretty sexual person (complete 180 degree) for 4 months... then it stopped and i became eunuch again :/ That's normal, women react like that when they're going to lose a guy...it's a normal reaction to try and save the relationship. Women like relationships, even if they are a pile of crap, once they're in them they don't like to get out of them easy...they make it a long drawn out process even if it's very simple. Also she was making fun of me and rubbed it all in my face (when we argue about the lack of sex) how i dont want to have sex in my room when my parents were home, and how i do not like to sex when the lights are on (that happened one time when light really bothered me but she didnt forget about it)... Because of this maybe she lost respect for me in this department - thinks im not man enough and that was turn off for her... She also found out once we were drunk in the club that my best friend know about our lack of sex, so when i was gone she told him how i refuse to have sex when parents are around, how the lights must be off when we do it (as i said that happened only once) and that she would have sex with me in the toilet in the club without a problem but that wont happen since there are lights on in the toilet.... etc... she was talking crap like that after 7 weeks of no sex...i think she just wanted to show my friend how she isnt the problem... Dunno... She doesn't respect you, and the more you keep crying about it and going in circles trying to figure it out, the more of a pussy you are looking like. But you're taking little things and making them into big things trying to understand it. She teases you because she looks down on you, you are not her equal and she just keeps you around like a puppy...you seem to come and go when she is ready or calls you. Another guy wouldn't wait around, he also wouldn't care about lights or screwing in public or taking risks...that's the kind of mentality you need to have, especially for young women. Sure, there are some women not like that....kind of, but they're hiding under a rock somewhere so you'll have to go find them...or actually the internet might be a good place to start. But anyway, you need to end the relationship, build back up your confidence and just get used to dating women...you can't have a backbone like this, every day you're just mocking yourself and any manhood you have left...you need to get out of the relationship for your dignity, it is worth more than a woman, your self-respect needs to always be maintained, because once a woman knows she can walk over you and push you around, they will crush you without any sympathy, but you will see them crying when they are getting played by the players...that's the way it goes. The knife only cuts on one side. 3
ippn1 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 (edited) TNX for replies ninjainpijamas BTW She has never orgasmed during sex. I asked her what should I do, but she said she likes everything, she is not demanding... and that i shouldnt worry because she has never experienced orgasm with any boyfriend. I asked her can she get herself off by masturbating and she said yes... its hard to practice when it happens once every 4,5,6 weeks and she doesnt want things to improve - she never guide me, tells me what she likes,etc... or maybe she lied to make me feel better? But i dont understand why was like that from the beginning when sexual attraction is supposed to be the strongest.. she was telling me about things we will do in the future - months from now, but when it came to sex it was like once every 3 weeks - in the first few months of the relationship! i mean she rather spent her night with her girl friends having a drink then come to me when i had a house all for myself at weekends. After the first sex we didnt have it for 2 months. I was inviting her but she always found a reason why not to come, but at the same time i was meeting her family, was invited in all important/family events, was very affectionate, caring, etc... Whenever i bring that topic up she always brushes it off like there is no problem. The last time - After 6 weeks of no sex I said the lack of sex is bothering me and what bothers me even more is the fact she isnt bothered at all. She told me the lack of sex is bothering her too and that she would say it if i didnt. We had sex the next weekend, but then we havent had sex for 7 more weeks in a row... So she is not telling me the truth. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS... She also said SHE HAS NEVER EXPERIENCED SEX PROBLEMS WITH ANY EX BF BEFORE ME... And i posted on different forums before. Women are mostly telling me (some even attacking me) to stop making sex the priority of relationship, asking me if I want relationship or sex, telling me there is nothing in it (for my gf) since im not giving her orgasms so i cant expect her to be enthusiastic about it, telling me to back off (romance her) and not bring sex up till she comes to me (i did that for a whole month, was patient, being there for her emotional needs, took her on a dinner, nice date, i know she loved it since i know her and even after that - for 4 weeks i did not even mentioned sex or anything related to it, guess what happened? nothing - she wasnt bothered). Men are mostly telling me that relationship is a joke and i should bail, telling me about sexless marriages and how many men are trapped in them and that all those men had problems having sex before they even married, that she is selfish and that relationship for her is about her not about 2 people, etc... Its like women are defending her while men are telling me to bail. Anyways i hate myself now because after half a year when things improved, she bought a new bigger bed for her room (she lives with parents) so i could spent a night there. But i didnt, even tho she asked me multiple times to do so... and showed me that bothers her... i didnt because i felt uncomfortable sleeping in her parents house with her mother in the next room and because i wanted to GET BACK AT HER. Im hating myself for that.. its playing games... It might turned out differently if i wasnt that stupid. Now she lost interest and nothing i can do. She doesnt invite me anymore and when i invite myself she always has a reason why i cant come. I BLAME myself for everything at this point. Sometimes im just dumb... Dont you think thins would turn out differently if i grabbed the chance and sleep over when she wanted me to? This is the only thing im still fixated on because i think it was a huge mistake. they say the more you have sex the more you want it so... as i said she never ever rejected my advances when we are in the bed. Even if she is on her period she gave me BJ... but on the other hand im thinking either you crave frequent sex or you dont - it doesnt matter if you live together /are married or just casually date... so she just might aswell come up with other excuses... who knows... i think we wont be together much longer... im meeting her for a drink tonight tho. What bothers me the most is that my gf is not prepared to work on this problem and when she is confronted she always has the same defense: 'How many times did you sleep over at my place and we are both to blame'! On the other hands she is telling me the lack of sex is bothering her too, but when there is a chance for it she rather goes for a drink with her friend, having dog sleep over in her bed instead of me etc... couple of months back i had 'put out or i ll get out' talk, had sex with her after few days and after that i had to wait another 7 weeks. But when we were talking about the lack of sex she had ton of suggestions how to solve it - moving in together, hotel rooms, etc. But the truth is we never need any of that if she was eager to have sex she would come to my place or invite me to sleep over at her when opportunity presents itself... when another month went by i was angry while mentioning nothing has changed after last talk and told her i ll start calling her a nympho... It pains me because sex is really good but it happens like once every blue moon and im pretty sure she does it because she must not because she wants to... e are going for a drink tonight... Ill talk to her once again about it... AGAIN TNX FOR OPINIONS! Edited June 7, 2015 by ippn1
Otter2569 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I think that Autumn & Betrayed summed it up best. Basically: it wont get no better. Accept that this is your fate or better yet move on and find someone more sexually compatible. Thankfully you are young and not married. Trust me you will not regret your decision.
sandylee1 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I have NEVER seen a case of a sexless relationship getting better. Ever. From personal experience in marriage, I have seen a low sex life (not sexless) get much better. However, the OP is only dating, so its not worth hanging around. You guys are sexually incompatible . Just end it. 1
autumnnight Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 If the OP was a woman I'd recommend her suggesting testosterone testing, counseling , etc. Because a LD man at least knows he SHOULD want sex with his partner. It has been my observation that women will defend to the death their right not to have sex, and they have other women lining up to defend them. I agree with Sandy. Since there's no marriage, there's no need to stay miserable. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 So your sex life (or lack thereof) is basically conducted in your boyhood bed at your parent's house? I don't understand how that could not be a huge aphrodisiac for her. Secondly, you say you're inexperienced sexually. Sorry, but it probably just sucks for her and she's avoiding it any way she can. You said it yourself - after the first time she was falling all over herself trying to find excuses to avoid it after that. That's your CUE that you need to get some education on how to please a woman and for the love of God, don't get it watching ignorant porn. 1
sandylee1 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 She's not sexually attracted to you she could be cheating on you She could just have a very low sex drive Whichever it is you can't change the situation, only your reaction to it Her discussing things with your friend wasn't a good move. I don't think she respects you much. I'm struggling to understand why neither of you ends it . You can do it without drama as this relationship is just a waste of time otherwise.
Brigit Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 The good news is that if you stick it out with her until her late 30s or early 40s, she'll come around. The bad news is that it probably won't be with you.
autumnnight Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 OP, you are a man, so the party is line is going to be that this is your fault. I think it is time to cut your losses. No one needs a partner who denies them sex.
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I'm siding with the camp that says that you're too young to be in a sexless relationship and miserable. Hell, we all deserve a healthy, fulfilling and mutually reciprocated sex life regardless of our ages!!! The fact that you're not married or even living together makes for a much easier out. And speaking as someone who stayed in a sexless marriage for far too many years, it doesn't get better with time. Resentment breeds quickly and will poison whatever good was there in your relationship at the beginning. Time to chalk this up to a lesson in sexual compatibility and how important it is to a relationship. We've all been here at least once in our lives. The good news is that you have a choice to stay or not. Good luck.
Author treznik Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 So your sex life (or lack thereof) is basically conducted in your boyhood bed at your parent's house? I don't understand how that could not be a huge aphrodisiac for her. Secondly, you say you're inexperienced sexually. Sorry, but it probably just sucks for her and she's avoiding it any way she can. You said it yourself - after the first time she was falling all over herself trying to find excuses to avoid it after that. That's your CUE that you need to get some education on how to please a woman and for the love of God, don't get it watching ignorant porn. So what happened when she suddenly became intrested in sex - was inviting herself to my place, talking about sex, was initiator etc... for 3, 4 months. Sex didnt became magically good all of sudden. And why it stops after that and went back to the old ways???
sandylee1 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 So what happened when she suddenly became intrested in sex - was inviting herself to my place, talking about sex, was initiator etc... for 3, 4 months. Sex didnt became magically good all of sudden. And why it stops after that and went back to the old ways??? If she's not getting satisfaction she won't be that interested. She could be lying about not having Os with other BFs . Maybe she talks about sex with her friends and it sounds very different to what the two of you have. For future relationships, a vibrator is useful to get your girl there and is fun as part of foreplay. Some women are okay with not having an O , but if you never got one how enjoyable would you really find it?
autumnnight Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 So your sex life (or lack thereof) is basically conducted in your boyhood bed at your parent's house? I don't understand how that could not be a huge aphrodisiac for her. Secondly, you say you're inexperienced sexually. Sorry, but it probably just sucks for her and she's avoiding it any way she can. You said it yourself - after the first time she was falling all over herself trying to find excuses to avoid it after that. That's your CUE that you need to get some education on how to please a woman and for the love of God, don't get it watching ignorant porn. Wow....lotsa compassion there....
Author treznik Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 We went for a walk today… to make long story short: SHE DUMPED ME AFTER AN ARGUMENT! Something you should know to understand the story: My grandparents has made reconstruction in their old house (I have my own entrance and apartment now in the upper floor of the house for a 2 months now). Last Wednesday I invited her to come the next day and she agreed, the next day she called early and canceled on me because her aunt invited her in her house for a bday (drinking, eating, talking with family members of hers) it was unplanned. I said I wont go (because I was disappointed since I expect her to come to my place for the 1st time since I have a furniture) so I said I ll not go and rather work for my job (Im sick of this bday parties especially unplanned in the middle of the week - every month one of her relatives has bday or something like that and im just tired of it, last week I was on her mothers bday which is reasonable but im not going to aunts bday for sure, especially unplanned). She was deeply offended and angry at me. I told her she is offended because I wasn’t there (for her needs) but when it comes to my needs she isnt bothered and puts zero effort to make it work. She said we wont try anything anymore, that we are not compatible and she is breaking up with me. That we are not functioning together and if we could we would make it by now. She also said how i did not invite her to move in with me. 2 months ago we went buying furniture together for my place and apaerantly I was looking at a closet that was small in her eyes and when she asked me ‘isnt it small?’ I replied ‘its big enough for me’ She said that was the moment she has realized I do not see her in the future… She said at this age and at that stage of relationship i should think differently, and that our relationship should progress – we should have move in together and that her plan is to have a baby in a year or two because she is 27 now. Talking about plans??? We never had that conversation. When i said we havent had sex for another month she said 'DISASTER'... LOL…I asked her what is her issue with sex, she said to me she has none, i asked her does she even like it she said yes, i asked if is it true she has never experienced an orgasm with any bf, she said Yes. I asked her do you even enjoy having sex with me, she said yes, and WHY EVERYONE IS ASKING THAT QUESTION WHEN RELATIONSHIP IS OVER! She also said im not spontaneous - she said how im always making plans and she hates plans ands stuff like that. Of course i have to make plans, im a bussy man. So yeah, she dumped me in the end, making me look like a bad guy for not suggesting to move in with me. At the same time she always had problem to come to my place and/or have sex with me. Its over now. I feel stupid. btw now i know what she meant a month back when we were talking about the lack of sex and she said to me 'you reap what you sow'... never talked about moving in together, never ever and now the bomb... like i should read her mind but at the same time her actions are not even close to show me she wants something as moving in together. She also said how everyone at her home were wondering why i did not invite her to move in. They all expected it and i didnt deliver... F***
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 You're a fool, not for not moving in with her but for letting it get to the point she dumped you. She made you out for a fool, she was right because you think it's your fault in the end. She manipulated you, but she's doing you the favor that you should be given yourself a long time ago and that was leave her...now you will probably chase after her degrading yourself even further. Have some self- respect and salvage any dignity you have left by simply walking away rather than falling for thus trick...nothing would've gotten you more sex at the end of the day, she is in it for nearly every woman out there is in it for...commitment, if it wasn't for that she'd have no interest in you whatsoever. 1
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