SycamoreCircle Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 To people who've had a lot of relationships, long-term, short-term, flings, hook-ups, one-night-stands and anything I'm leaving out: Do you feel you've actively worked towards these things? Or do they feel more like something you've wandered into?
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 When I was younger I wandered into them. Post college I actively worked at them.
jen1447 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Both - I make most all my stuff happen, but my personality in general is to just let life happen. So that means I'm not sitting around planning anything, but when opportunities arise I pounce.
ASG Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I mostly wandered into them. There might have been a handful of guys I actively pursued, but most of the time it just kinda happened. I've had several FWBs and ONSs, but I never set out to make them happen, as in, I have never gone out of my way to have sex with anyone. Even now, I've been giving OLD a chance, but I find myself not actively checking it or replying to messages or sending any messages. So obviously, I've not been having much success. 1
candie13 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 best RS just happened. when I was trying to make it happen, it was a waste of time. Great learnings, but unnecessary heartache.
misspond Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I've mostly wandered. With a smidgeon of determination.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Always wondered, it always came out of left field with no expectations...at least to me in my mind. 2
John Bigboote Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Mainly I just remain open to the possibility of things happening. When I've been specifically lonely, though, I've tried to make things happen and planned in the sense that I would actively "put myself out there" on OKC, chat women up at the bar, etc. But only to increase the number of interactions per day, not to make it an active search. Actively seeking is desperate and not attractive.
preraph Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I usually went after anything I wanted, including people. I don't believe in letting life happen to you because I think you can just sit and be battered by it if you do. I think the universe rewards momentum. The times I've really focused on something and gone for it, I've felt the wind at my back.
2.50 a gallon Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I had a very happy bachelorhood. Always lived in singles apartment complexes, made lots of friends (both male and female), to do things with. Fishing, shooting pool, bar hopping, BBQing. I learned at a early age, to just let things happen, similar to NPJ's post, relationships, showed up when I least expected it.
CarrieT Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Both. But I never considered a relationship that ended as a failure; it was just part of the path I was on to live and learn. It is probably why I am still friends with my Ex's - in most cases, there was no animosity. We all just knew it was time to move on.
loveweary11 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Definitely wandered... I've only actively put unusual time/effort into one girl, although I have made plenty of "coincidental" meetings hapen. ha ha The rest made it pretty well known they were up for getting to know each other. The ones I thought were cool people, I invited to do fun stuff with me. If we clicked on the trip/adventure, it usually developed into the beginning of a relationship. Then, as the months and years went by, there was absolutely no effort at all. I literally only get into relationships with easy going, cool chicks who are compatible on many levels. So... both being laid back in terms of relationships, there is no fighting, no expectations of the other person, no trying to change anyone. 100% acceptance. From there it's zero work. We just enjoy life.
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