murphydurphy Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 So i've been dating this girl for 2 months and things are great. In the past I have had jealousy/ controlling issues but I have been trying to fix them now With my current girlfriend I would like to think I'm doing a good job She will go out with her friends and I have no problem with it and never text her when shes with them If I ask to hang out and she says she has made plans with her friends I say alright no problem have fun When were together we will cuddle and that but when one of us has to leave I odnt beg for her to stay. Ill hug her and kiss her but thats it I will say i miss you if i go 3-4 days without seeing her but not if i just go one day even if i do miss her we dont text alot. we use to but since we have been seeing each other more we dont as much which im fine with and sometimes i wanna text her but im afraid if i do itll eb suffocating what you all think
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Are you official? It's normal for people that have been dating 2 months to touch base each day. It's not cligny, needy or being possessive.
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Everything sounds healthy & fine. I do disagree with Gaeta that it's "normal" to touch base daily. At 2 months daily contact would be too much for me. I don't think that makes me abnormal. My preferences aside whatever each couple's personal preference for contact is fine as long as they are both happy. 3
GemmaUK Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 All sounds good and healthy to me! I don't need to touch base daily and prefer not to personally. It can result in a whole conversation that you could have had when you see each other so daily texts for me get a bit dull and I don't need them. 1
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 When I say touch base, that's what I mean touching base. How's everything and have a good day type of thing. Maybe the difference with me is I would not date a man 2 months without being exclusive already. I am looking for a serious relationship, no casual dating that drags forever. Dating someone is about connecting, sharing, knowing someone is thinking about you. To some it's just having a date for the following weekend. I don't do that type of dating. So what ever OP's type of dating is it's what he should be searching for. If this lady does not need to hear from him for 4 days at a time and he's the type to enjoy a closer more meaningful connection than he should find that. 3
Redhead14 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 So i've been dating this girl for 2 months and things are great. In the past I have had jealousy/ controlling issues but I have been trying to fix them now With my current girlfriend I would like to think I'm doing a good job She will go out with her friends and I have no problem with it and never text her when shes with them If I ask to hang out and she says she has made plans with her friends I say alright no problem have fun When were together we will cuddle and that but when one of us has to leave I odnt beg for her to stay. Ill hug her and kiss her but thats it I will say i miss you if i go 3-4 days without seeing her but not if i just go one day even if i do miss her we dont text alot. we use to but since we have been seeing each other more we dont as much which im fine with and sometimes i wanna text her but im afraid if i do itll eb suffocating what you all think An occasional text or phone call to keep good communication and an indication of your continued and sincere interest in her is not being clingy or suffocating. Doing it constantly would be. If you're not keeping good contact you're both going to be wondering if the interest is waning. And, why are you or is she letting 3 or 4 days go by at this point without seeing each other? If she is spending more time with her friends than with you, I'd start wondering too. There should be balance between seeing each other and your friends or other activities. Too much contact or not enough contact, will cause the relationship to lose momentum. 1
preraph Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 "Touching base" can seem an awful lot like "keeping tabs on." I don't think at two months you need to talk every day, especially if all you have to say is "How's your day?" I think you talk when you have something to say. I think you are still jealous even though you have modified your behavior and you just need to keep working on acknowledging that when you have a girlfriend, she doesn't cease all other activities just to be with you. She gets to keep her friends and family and she also gets to have some "me" time, she gets to pursue schooling and her career and once she has kids, she gets to give them priority. So good for you for using self-discipline, but if you feel you are miserable about all this, you could use a little self-esteem building through counseling because living in fear sucks. Yes, most women are going to leave you sometime. Yes, all women are going to have friends, family, career and not be yours 100%. You say you miss this girl after 2 months and you are fighting yourself not to beg her to stay. That's not healthy. You need to be more comfortable being alone with yourself than that. You can't put all that need onto a person. I'm glad you're aware of that, but changing it, you might need some help with that is all I'm saying. Good luck. 1
Gary S Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Most of what the OP wrote looks okay. Some other points - while it might be common for a couple to touch base everyday, some couples might only talk once or twice a week and see each other only once a week.... again, while this is not average and is on the outskirts of being healthy, it's still within the bounds of a healthy relationship (for some couples). Some people have one date a week and save all the sharing for the date, it can be fun! On another note... I don't think telling a woman you miss her the day after a date is a problem. 1
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