binrob Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 my ex of 4 years, who was my first love and me hers, and also first sexual partner, basically left me in September, started dating this guy immediately. She had done this before 2 years prior but after 2 months she contacted me saying she was sorry. I asked her why she wanted me back when all I had heard from her friends was how great everything was and how happy she was. She just told me that "no matter how great he was, he just wasn't you. Anyway, she came back in October after I reached out after about a month of NC. We decided to take it slow and she agreed but after a week she said she wanted to get back together and that she loved me and showed all kinds of small acts of love. 3 weeks later she changes her mind and leaves me for the last time. 2 weeks later I see her with another guy. They are now in a relationship since then. As you can guess I was crushed. She even went on a vacation with this dude just about a month after we broke up. It's been 7 months and they are still together. But yesterday my friend told me she had walked into his dads autoparts store with her new boyfriend to buy some parts for her dads car. Apparently she started making out with him BIG TIME, to quote my friend "the guy couldn't breathe" in the middle of the customer reception. She knows me and him are old friends. Did she do this on purpose? Who makes out in the middle of customer reception?
foolinlove79 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 You should cut them loose and try to move on. From their actions they obviously dont love you. It sounds like you are the plan b. So they leave and find someone else and then when it doesnt work they come back. This cycle can go on for years and years. You are wasting your time.. 1
Yummm Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 She's bang out of order buddy, don't let her make you the doormat. Strict NC, no more chances and focus on healing. Hang in there
Chi townD Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 (edited) Well, I have my theory. If I'm guessing correctly. You're in NC with her. She knows you won't respond to anything she throws your way. So, even after all this time (and she may or may not know that you know she's moved on with someone else) you still won't communicate with her. So, she saw your long time friend and decided to get a message to you through a third party. So, she started to make out with new guy to hurt you for not talking to her and to also say to you, "Look, I've moved on. I found someone else. I'm good". If this is her way of thinking, then it's pretty immature and you're better off without a person that would act this way. Brush it off dude and continue to move on. Edited June 6, 2015 by Chi townD
aloneinaz Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 My question is why do you care? She dumped you not only once, but twice and immediately started new relationships with new guys. She should be the last person you give a rats butt about.. It's been many months since she last pulled this. Why not focus on replacing her with another girl vs. worrying about what this immature douche bag is doing? As they say on Sports Center- "Come on man"! You're a young guy, go sow some oats!
jen1447 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Yeah, that was def for you. Honestly it seems like she mainly viewed you as a toy - wind you up and watch you come back, then toss you out and do it again. Some women get off on that, it's kind of a shallow form of self validation. Let me guess - you'd still go back to her if she said so, right?
Author binrob Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 She's bang out of order buddy, don't let her make you the doormat. Strict NC, no more chances and focus on healing. Hang in there I have not contacted her since January. Well, I have my theory. If I'm guessing correctly. You're in NC with her. She knows you won't respond to anything she throws your way. So, even after all this time (and she may or may not know that you know she's moved on with someone else) you still won't communicate with her. So, she saw your long time friend and decided to get a message to you through a third party. So, she started to make out with new guy to hurt you for not talking to her and to also say to you, "Look, I've moved on. I found someone else. I'm good". If this is her way of thinking, then it's pretty immature and you're better off without a person that would act this way. Brush it off dude and continue to move on. You are right that I am in NC with her. I have been since January. But she knows I know about her boyfriend and have know pretty much since day one when I saw them together 2 weeks after our final break up. But she has however not tried to reach out to me in anyway since the break up. That is why I don't understand why she would do this. She dumped me and moved on in 2 weeks without looking back so why do this? Or maybe they are just one of those couples making out everywhere any chance they get. My question is why do you care? She dumped you not only once, but twice and immediately started new relationships with new guys. She should be the last person you give a rats butt about.. It's been many months since she last pulled this. Why not focus on replacing her with another girl vs. worrying about what this immature douche bag is doing? As they say on Sports Center- "Come on man"! You're a young guy, go sow some oats! The reason I care is because it's so strange. I have been hurting a lot because of this girl and she didn't give a damn about me as soon as she said bye. So why even bother doing this? Or as I said above they maybe are one of those couples that make out everywhere all the time. Yeah, that was def for you. Honestly it seems like she mainly viewed you as a toy - wind you up and watch you come back, then toss you out and do it again. Some women get off on that, it's kind of a shallow form of self validation. Let me guess - you'd still go back to her if she said so, right? I don't think she viewed me as toy since she was with me for 4 years and truly seemed inlove with me. Just a lot of stuff happened this last year that caused the split. But she did not handle the split well. She pretty much ditched me and moved on and cut me out immediately and treated me like I was some kind of abusive dirt bag (which I was not). So why even bother. No I would not go back to her. She has hurt me way to much. But I admit that I would like to hear from her again.
aloneinaz Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 But I admit that I would like to hear from her again. Why would you want to hear from her again if you wouldn't want to date her again? Listen, we are just trying to help and giving this ex any thought or concern isn't helping you move forward to someone else. Are you dating at all? I think you'd feel much better if you had a new GF in your life and it would certainly make you forget the last one even quicker.
Phoe Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Tell your friends that you don't wanna hear about her. I don't care if your friends saw her having a gang bang in aisle 3 of your local walmart, they should know not to talk about her to you. 3
Author binrob Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 Why would you want to hear from her again if you wouldn't want to date her again? Listen, we are just trying to help and giving this ex any thought or concern isn't helping you move forward to someone else. Are you dating at all? I think you'd feel much better if you had a new GF in your life and it would certainly make you forget the last one even quicker. She was my first love and someone I cared for and was my best friend for 4 years. She will always mean something to me so that's why I would like to hear from her someday again. It doesn't mean I would want her back. I am not dating. I work from 2pm to 11pm, five days a week, 2 of which are the weekends (my days off are mondays and tuesdays) and have to squeeze in working out, taking care of my dog and other household chores since I live alone. I don't really have time to go out partying or make new connections. I wish I could though, maybe it would help. But I still feel I wouldn't be able to trust anyone again and they would basically just be a rebound for me. Tell your friends that you don't wanna hear about her. I don't care if your friends saw her having a gang bang in aisle 3 of your local walmart, they should know not to talk about her to you. I mostly play it cool infront of my friends so they probably think I am over it or something. I don't really talk much about my feelings to anyone which is why I come to this board a lot. It's my only outlet. But yeah, maybe I should ask them to stop telling me things about her. 1
ravfour4 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Just tell your friends you don't want to hear about it. As far as this girl goes, she clearly doesn't love you if she was able to do this twice. You know what it feels like to love someone, you don't instantly sleep with someone else or try to make out with a new person in front of them.
aloneinaz Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Tell your friends that you don't wanna hear about her. I don't care if your friends saw her having a gang bang in aisle 3 of your local walmart, they should know not to talk about her to you. OMG, this made me laugh out loud! Ok, back to the OP- I get that you're working an odd schedule and are busy. You need to look at ways to expose yourself to the dating scene again. Of course you're going to keep thinking about this ex. You have no other women to think about in your life. When you're home alone and lonely, where's your mind going to instantly go? There's a lot of truth to the expression "you don't get over them until you replace them". She's moved on, a couple of times. You need to do the same. This girl will fade from memory quickly if you meet a new girl and it starts going some where. 1
hunk Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Tell your friends that you don't wanna hear about her. I don't care if your friends saw her having a gang bang in aisle 3 of your local walmart, they should know not to talk about her to you. Christ that was good 1
Author binrob Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 OMG, this made me laugh out loud! Ok, back to the OP- I get that you're working an odd schedule and are busy. You need to look at ways to expose yourself to the dating scene again. Of course you're going to keep thinking about this ex. You have no other women to think about in your life. When you're home alone and lonely, where's your mind going to instantly go? There's a lot of truth to the expression "you don't get over them until you replace them". She's moved on, a couple of times. You need to do the same. This girl will fade from memory quickly if you meet a new girl and it starts going some where. But I don't really know how. I live in a small town, there's not much to do and while I have no problem actually talking to women the whole approaching random women is not really how things work in the culture here. I just really can't see myself with someone else. But whatever, she had no problem apparently so why should I.
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