FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I love this forum honestly, I can post and rant here and not be judged for being a lover. Well earlier I said I was haunted by my ex, I also posted of when I went to my therapist. So the night before I had such a strange dream. I was on a school bus and sitting next to me was my ex, I was frustrated and confused asking myself wait, I thought we ended and were on no contact, as I thought of this I looked away for a split second and looked up, she had moved to the far end of the bus sitting next to a buddy of mine. I was again confused as to why he was in my dream and then asked her if she was going to come sit next to me, she then smiled and shook her head no. For a dream I've never felt such a painful emotion, until I woke up angry and... Rejected. I believe that this was my self saying hey... She rejected you and left you. Well geez thanks mind, for rubbing it in. Hahahaha. -F
mystikmind2005 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 There was tension and issues in my marriage... i would have these dreams where i am trying to connect with my wife but she always turns away. The final dream was quite bad, same thing again only this time i can feel she has a total disdain/hatred for me and has another love interest. I did not mention to her the love interest part but i did tell her i dream she hates me and i want to talk about it. She brushed it off saying "oh my don't be silly, i don't hate you". Three months later she was out the door. Would not even consider marriage counseling or anything like that, and we have a 3 year old daughter! If that's not hatred then i don't know what is?? And to this day she still won't admit she hates me or there is anyone else.
Author FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 There was tension and issues in my marriage... i would have these dreams where i am trying to connect with my wife but she always turns away. The final dream was quite bad, same thing again only this time i can feel she has a total disdain/hatred for me and has another love interest. I did not mention to her the love interest part but i did tell her i dream she hates me and i want to talk about it. She brushed it off saying "oh my don't be silly, i don't hate you". Three months later she was out the door. Would not even consider marriage counseling or anything like that, and we have a 3 year old daughter! If that's not hatred then i don't know what is?? And to this day she still won't admit she hates me or there is anyone else. Oh man a child in the mix too. I'm still bitter because she chose another over me when her child called me Daddy. A 2 year old chose me as Dad. I never realized how dedicated I was to him until I realized how much I missed him. Now I'm like I'm going to miss him starting school, coming to dad to ask a personal guy question. I can just imagine how much worse it is for you.
mystikmind2005 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Oh man a child in the mix too. I'm still bitter because she chose another over me when her child called me Daddy. A 2 year old chose me as Dad. I never realized how dedicated I was to him until I realized how much I missed him. Now I'm like I'm going to miss him starting school, coming to dad to ask a personal guy question. I can just imagine how much worse it is for you. I'm not complaining against my ex, I'm just telling the story about my dream. It is important to let go of bitterness, it helps you to move on and be a more positive person in life. What people don't realize about forgiveness, it helps you far more than it helps them Sorry for your loss, at least i still get to see my daughter regularly, and i am managing to slowly build a friendly parenting relationship with my ex, its all good. 1
Author FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 I'm not complaining against my ex, I'm just telling the story about my dream. It is important to let go of bitterness, it helps you to move on and be a more positive person in life. What people don't realize about forgiveness, it helps you far more than it helps them Sorry for your loss, at least i still get to see my daughter regularly, and i am managing to slowly build a friendly parenting relationship with my ex, its all good. My apologies, I'm not bitter like I hate her or anything, more along the lines of sad and wanting. I'm glad you can build that friendship for the little one. Right now I am working on finding a way to forgive myself, and then forgive her. 1
mystikmind2005 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 My apologies, I'm not bitter like I hate her or anything, more along the lines of sad and wanting. I'm glad you can build that friendship for the little one. Right now I am working on finding a way to forgive myself, and then forgive her. I'm glad to hear it My journey began after the separation. I decided i was tired of being the unmotivated anti social negative minimalist that i was. And i don't see any point carrying all those things to my next relationship. So i got on the internet and did a tonne of research on all kinds of emotional stuff. The first thing i learnt was how truly ignorant i was about all this stuff!! The most important thing i learnt was the importance to like myself and believe in myself and i am worth being loved and giving love... getting this part wrong was the foundation of all failure in my life to this point. No more!
Country_Girl Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 You will have dreams like this. Anytime a relationship ended for me I was haunted by the ex at night through dreams. I found it so strange because while in a relationship I rarely if ever had a dream with my SO in it. Your subconscious is dealing with the loss of it, you will probably have more dreams involving them, but think nothing of it. Your brain is just dealing with the loss and lack of endorphin rush. 2
DexterLS Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I have this all the time too. I wake up angry every single day.
Yummm Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I had these sort of dreams for the first few weeks, but over the last week, I've been having dreams of her trying to come back to me and me pushing her away! Strange... I still feel gutted when I wake up lol
mystikmind2005 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I had these sort of dreams for the first few weeks, but over the last week, I've been having dreams of her trying to come back to me and me pushing her away! Strange... I still feel gutted when I wake up lol Seems like your subconscious mind has identified what harms you and is trying to protect you from it/her 1
Moley87 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Dreams are common as the mind looks to assess the situation and does that best when in a state of relaxation, hence why you learn more at night before bed and why dreams are vivid. You were likely thinking of something or had subsequently accepted something and the dream was putting it all into perspective to how you could relate or not with something. Reading the dream I would say it was a sense that you are finally moving on and accepting it's over - could be a good thing for you ! 1
Lizrd3000 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 The most intens emotions I've ever felt were ALL in dreams. It's really weird, but I once had a dream about a girl i dont know in real life, yet I loved her SO much, and was SO in love with her, during my dream. When I woke up, I was extremely bummed. (I was with my now ex at that time) Dreams are weird, they can tell you alot too. This dream made me realize that there is better love out there.
stillwatersrundeep Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I've been having the dreams too and wasn't convinced it was a healthy response to be having - as if we can't even escape the heartache when asleep. Plus my dreams repeatedly involved an ex from years ago who i found it really tough to get over (who i rarely think about now), as opposed to the guy who recently broke up with me and who I'm truly pining for. However, I recently read this and found it encouraging... Cartwright studied people going through divorces and found that those who were the most depressed in their waking lives had the flattest, least emotional dreams, while those who were managing well had highly expressive, furious dreams, complete with scenes of throwing objects at their soon-to-be exes."It seemed like the people who were having a harder time adjusting were having the dullest dreams because they weren't facing up to their emotions, while those who coped the best were working out their feelings in their dreams". Cartwright says, "It was almost like their dreams made them realise "I've handed feelings like this before, so I can deal with them again"" So YAY for dreams, in truth they are actually helping us work it out.
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