Halcyon Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Well a lot of my issues have to deal with my low self worth and self esteem . I worked on it and now I have to be the best man I can be and not be happy at a dead end job. It sucks feeling like I have noting to offer but I know I do. Bolded is a the crux or your problem and it's seeps through the screen from your posts. I still think you have a long way to go in getting over that. Still a lot of despair, self hatred, blaming others (society) in your posts. 12 years ago I was low as you can get suicidal, clinically depressed, overweight, no future (or so I thought) and very angry at the world. One day I realised nothing was going to change unless I did it myself and have been moving forward ever since. If I showed you a picture of what I was then and what I am now you would swear we are two different people. Currently I'm dating a lovely lady who easily earns more than double what I do and I don't have a bad career by any means. She told me she likes me because I'm genuine, self assured, confident and that makes her feel she can just be herself around me. I've been on both sides and it has a lot less than you think it does to do with women being gold diggers. A lot of it is how you carry yourself, how you perceive yourself not hating yourself is a good start. Also how you perceive others not having incredibly negative broad brush opinions about an entire gender is a good start as well. That **** bleeds out of you without you even being aware of it and it's very unattractive. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Also, you don't have to be in the best paying job, have the best education or come from a particular family to get that 'one'....you just have to be yourself and don't second guess what you have and what you think someone wants. Yea, that's easy for you to say. You're hot! Being hot can make up for lack of just about ... anything. Not saying you're not a desirable person inside, but if you were unattractive, it'd be a totally different ballgame. 2
Emmie83 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Well a lot of my issues have to deal with my low self worth and self esteem . I worked on it and now I have to be the best man I can be and not be happy at a dead end job. It sucks feeling like I have noting to offer but I know I do. Yea, that's easy for you to say. You're hot! Being hot can make up for lack of just about ... anything. Not saying you're not a desirable person inside, but if you were unattractive, it'd be a totally different ballgame. I never disregard people based on looks. I need to get to know the person within before I am there and want to be with that person as a partner. Physical attraction only goes so far. Emotional chemistry is what works for me and I would assume that there are plenty of men out there with a similar mindset to my own.
Krieger Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Everyone has something to offer to a partner and that's usually unconditional love and emotional support. If someone is a gold digger, they're not worth the time of day. Also, you don't have to be in the best paying job, have the best education or come from a particular family to get that 'one'....you just have to be yourself and don't second guess what you have and what you think someone wants. Work on your self esteem Mr. You know you're better than that I'd consider myself a realist. But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist.” I need more than a dead end job without much upward mobility. It hate working with people Kmart said NO to. I for one need to be challenged I can’t just walk through life in a circle of mediocrity. Not being challenged nor have goals or something to work toward what the point of getting out of bed in the morning? My job has been literally killing my soul for the past 5 years and got to keep going. I am not living up to my full potential and not having a career i am passionate about.
Emmie83 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I'd consider myself a realist. But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist.” I need more than a dead end job without much upward mobility. It hate working with people Kmart said NO to. I for one need to be challenged I can’t just walk through life in a circle of mediocrity. Not being challenged nor have goals or something to work toward what the point of getting out of bed in the morning? My job has been literally killing my soul for the past 5 years and got to keep going. I am not living up to my full potential and not having a career i am passionate about. Well I would suggest you do what you want to do, but not for a woman or anyone other than yourself! Leave Kmart, go study and focus on building up your confidence..... whether it be through participating in common interests with your friends or joining social groups or taking up new hobbies/sports. Do it
Emmie83 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 The world is full of ugly single people offering unconditional love and emotional support. It doesn't seem to help them much. Well I think that is a very sad mentality to have. There are plenty of people out there. You've just got to find the right one. And secondly....I hate the word ugly! Unless if it's addressed to bad people!
joseb Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 The truth is that the majority of women are average/ugly without their makeup, even models and celebrities: So it's probably better that you do settle, i.e. become more realistic. Katy Perry and Anne Hathway and a couple of others looked better without makeup. Mila Kunis did surprise me, I suspect that's a particularly bad shot. Just saying. 1
joseb Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 OP, I dunno if this came up already, I didn't get through all the thread, but where do you live? Have you considered moving? Honestly, it sounds like you are in a bad place to meet decent women. Maybe considering moving overseas where you novelty may be an asset? A foreign accent is usually worth an extra point.
Noproblem Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 why do you think an average or what you call an ugly woman will be intersted in you? Just because she is not beautiful doesn't mean that you are her type and her knight on the white horse! Get off your high horse and deal with the reality You can't get the girl, because no girl want a quitter, someone who gives up too easily!
joseb Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 . A woman should not date a guy that has less than her and same goes for men should not date woman with less than him. Er, then no-one would date anyone... 1
Krieger Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Bolded is a the crux or your problem and it's seeps through the screen from your posts. I still think you have a long way to go in getting over that. Still a lot of despair, self hatred, blaming others (society) in your posts. 12 years ago I was low as you can get suicidal, clinically depressed, overweight, no future (or so I thought) and very angry at the world. One day I realised nothing was going to change unless I did it myself and have been moving forward ever since. If I showed you a picture of what I was then and what I am now you would swear we are two different people. Currently I'm dating a lovely lady who easily earns more than double what I do and I don't have a bad career by any means. She told me she likes me because I'm genuine, self assured, confident and that makes her feel she can just be herself around me. I've been on both sides and it has a lot less than you think it does to do with women being gold diggers. A lot of it is how you carry yourself, how you perceive yourself not hating yourself is a good start. Also how you perceive others not having incredibly negative broad brush opinions about an entire gender is a good start as well. That **** bleeds out of you without you even being aware of it and it's very unattractive. Well i all ready know it me vs the world no one really cares about me and I have to do what is in my best interest. My hat is off to people that can work a dead end job for 30 , 40 , 50 years . I do not want to be a retail worker for life selling my soul for a few hundred buck more a month. As a man I have to provide for the family I someday hope to create together. At the end of the day I want to be able to feel well I did every thing I could so he have nice things and a place to live.
Krieger Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Er, then no-one would date anyone... Not true at all and this is why. Lets say I am a big time famous lawyer and my GF lets say she works retail . I have a lot more to lose than she does . think about it ? It not about the money it about being on the same level same social status .
Emmie83 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Well i all ready know it me vs the world no one really cares about me and I have to do what is in my best interest. My hat is off to people that can work a dead end job for 30 , 40 , 50 years . I do not want to be a retail worker for life selling my soul for a few hundred buck more a month. As a man I have to provide for the family I someday hope to create together. At the end of the day I want to be able to feel well I did every thing I could so he have nice things and a place to live. WELL DON'T! As I said, get yourself back into studies and fix the things you're unhappy with in life. It's easy!
joseb Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I need more than a dead end job without much upward mobility. It hate working with people Kmart said NO to. I for one need to be challenged I can’t just walk through life in a circle of mediocrity. Not being challenged nor have goals or something to work toward what the point of getting out of bed in the morning? My job has been literally killing my soul for the past 5 years and got to keep going. I am not living up to my full potential and not having a career i am passionate about. Absolutely go and study, and get a better job you care about. This is a great attitude. I too would consider myself a realist. But just remember that a lot of the barriers we hit are ones we create in our own heads. I see it from your posts at times. Just be open to this possibility too. But yeah, good for you re:career. 2
Emmie83 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 (edited) I have a GF, I am just speaking about others. This place is full of men who can barely even get a date, let alone find anything meaningful with a woman. I can only imagine the bitterness I would have after years of getting rejected by every woman I've shown interest in. Well that's good for you...and I actually am genuine about that. But if what you say is true (only been registered on here 12ish hours or so) I think a lot of people need to own their issues, work through them and learn to be strong and confidant within themselves. Confidence and happiness always does it for me. Always have a goal Edited June 16, 2015 by Emmie83
Krieger Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I have a GF, I am just speaking about others. This place is full of men who can barely even get a date, let alone find anything meaningful with a woman. I can only imagine the bitterness I would have after years of getting rejected by every woman I've shown interest in. The funny thing is woman I meet at school or were ever tell me if I wanted a GF all I have to do is ask . Some even told me to I might sound too good to be true. I not sure someone can sound to good to be true.
TheFinalWord Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 (edited) The funny thing is woman I meet at school or were ever tell me if I wanted a GF all I have to do is ask . Some even told me to I might sound too good to be true. I not sure someone can sound to good to be true. You should meet a woman in school. They are in the same place in life as you, and you can grow together. I started in retail too, first in family with a degree, and now a tenure-track professor. It takes a lot of work, but you can do it. I would not necessarily say it will translate to more dates. If anything, in retail you have more time to date as when the 5 o'clock bell rings you can forget about the company. While you are there, you only care about the specific task they want you to execute. With a career, you are always thinking about your job and worried about the organization's success. I commend your goals, but enjoy the journey. The grass always looks greener on the other side. A career has strengths and limitations as well. Edited June 16, 2015 by TheFinalWord 3
Krieger Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 You should meet a woman in school. They are in the same place in life as you, and you can grow together. I started in retail too, first in family with a degree, and now a tenure-track professor. It takes a lot of work, but you can do it. I would not necessarily say it will translate to more dates. If anything, in retail you have more time to date as when the 5 o'clock bell rings you can forget about the company. While you are there, you only care about the specific task they want you to execute. With a career, you are always thinking about your job and worried about the organization's success (see: ). I commend your goals, but enjoy the journey. The grass always looks greener on the other side. A career has strengths and limitations as well. There is no money in retail and I can live off $2,300 to $2,400 take home a month. The cost of living is high and rent is one pay check . If your not making 75k a year take home you just getting by and one mistake your homeless. Want to buy a house you better be able to drop 500k . Retail is not challenging at all and I need more than a pay check.
Emmie83 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 There is no money in retail and I can live off $2,300 to $2,400 take home a month. The cost of living is high and rent is one pay check . If your not making 75k a year take home you just getting by and one mistake your homeless. Want to buy a house you better be able to drop 500k . Retail is not challenging at all and I need more than a pay check. Then do something about it!!!!! instead of talking on a forum, update your CV/resume and get online to job sites and send it out to wherever you want to be working and are qualified for.
Krieger Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Then do something about it!!!!! instead of talking on a forum, update your CV/resume and get online to job sites and send it out to wherever you want to be working and are qualified for. I got it all planed out so I am kind of stuck at this job for now but I have a plan of action just got to get my ducks in a row.
Halcyon Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 There is no money in retail and I can live off $2,300 to $2,400 take home a month. The cost of living is high and rent is one pay check . If your not making 75k a year take home you just getting by and one mistake your homeless. Want to buy a house you better be able to drop 500k . Retail is not challenging at all and I need more than a pay check. Ok so what are you doing to change this? I worked in ****ty retail job whilst I was studying and it was because of that retail job I realised I wanted more out of life than that. Edit: Nevermind just saw your post above good set goals, stick at them. It will take work and effort but it will be worth it. As long as you aren't sitting around expecting things to come to you then you are doing better than most.
Krieger Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Ok so what are you doing to change this? I worked in ****ty retail job whilst I was studying and it was because of that retail job I realised I wanted more out of life than that. Edit: Nevermind just saw your post above good set goals, stick at them. It will take work and effort but it will be worth it. Thanks I know I need to keep on fighting to reach them. I know fall quarter is going to be hard and I going to see what I am made of. I am taking Human Anatomy and Physiology class if from 7:30 am till 9:30 am every M,T,W and TH . On top of that the teacher is hard but he get me ready for nursing school. I have talked to people that have taken the class and a few teachers and they all said the same thing . You can get an A only if you study 4 to 5 hours a day after class 7 days a week. Add the 40 + hours a week I work I might cut my hours if i can. 1
loveweary11 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Thanks I know I need to keep on fighting to reach them. I know fall quarter is going to be hard and I going to see what I am made of. I am taking Human Anatomy and Physiology class if from 7:30 am till 9:30 am every M,T,W and TH . On top of that the teacher is hard but he get me ready for nursing school. I have talked to people that have taken the class and a few teachers and they all said the same thing . You can get an A only if you study 4 to 5 hours a day after class 7 days a week. Add the 40 + hours a week I work I might cut my hours if i can. I have to say... everyone is always giving Krieger a hard time here, but look at what this guy is doing to get where he wants to be. He'll make it no problem. Intense work like this in manageable spurts is how you get places. It's what gets me places too. Good job, man. And good job for recognizing all sorts of things, fixing them and having pretty pure goals/dreams. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I never disregard people based on looks. I need to get to know the person within before I am there and want to be with that person as a partner. Physical attraction only goes so far. Emotional chemistry is what works for me and I would assume that there are plenty of men out there with a similar mindset to my own. Yea, that's what they all say. My OLD results prove different.
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 There is no money in retail and I can live off $2,300 to $2,400 take home a month. The cost of living is high and rent is one pay check . If your not making 75k a year take home you just getting by and one mistake your homeless. Want to buy a house you better be able to drop 500k . Retail is not challenging at all and I need more than a pay check. What's that you're saying? If you're not making six figures gross, then you're just getting by/living paycheck to paycheck?
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