mongo Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 (edited) ive had enough of the dating scene. its just too brutal. too much competition for the best women. i simply do not have the tools to compete. trust me im over 30 ive been in there...cold approaching women, bars, clubs, parties, you name it. its all the same game. ive suffered a lot of rejection, so much i cant approach anymore. i see a girl i fancy i know im gonna get rejected. why bother? all men are basically competing for the best looking women they can get/afford. we are like piranhas...throw some bloody meat in and its a frenzy. put a beautiful woman in a room full of men and the same will happen. put an average looking woman in a room full of men the same will happen. hell put anything with a vagina in that room, they dont care. if youre a beautiful woman, youre used to getting tons of attention. if youre not so good looking youll get slightly less attention. what im getting at is its all a competition. my ideal girl is beautiful, polite, caring, intelligent, vibrant. i think she exists, but the problem is shes probably with someone who can say all the right stuff and with higher social status than me. i cant compete for her, so shes out of my league. even if i met her she wouldnt pay attention to me. so i could settle for an unattractive but polite girl with a good attitude. it has an advantage...she gets little attention from men, she will actually pay attention to you. unattractive women also tend to be less self absorbed and arrogant. they havent been spoiled by all the attention. Edited June 6, 2015 by mongo
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 my ideal girl is beautiful, polite, caring, intelligent, vibrant. and what do you have to offer in return to a beautiful, polite, caring, intelligent vibrant woman? 20
Author mongo Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 and what do you have to offer in return to a beautiful, polite, caring, intelligent vibrant woman? heh i see what youre doing here, but to just to answer your question: honesty, devotion, support, love, intelligence, attentiveness, open mindedness, confidence, security, etc. plus im tall athletic and nice looking. but if youre a man whos rich, good looking, and better social status, then you dont need any of the positive qualities above. women are dating them and trying fix them by instilling these qualities in them. which doesnt work most of the time. 1
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 so you've been rejected by the woman you've wanted all because you don't have a the quality of life you think they desire. Honestly, the world is not categorized by unattractive woman but nice woman and attractive woman with self absorbed traits. Settle for an "ugly woman" and see how much of a quality of life you're having then, and what kind of life she's having.... Listen to your own logic... 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 ive had enough of the dating scene. its just too brutal. too much competition for the best women. i simply do not have the tools to compete. trust me im over 30 ive been in there...cold approaching women, bars, clubs, parties, you name it. its all the same game. ive suffered a lot of rejection, so much i cant approach anymore. i see a girl i fancy i know im gonna get rejected. why bother? all men are basically competing for the best looking women they can get/afford. we are like piranhas...throw some bloody meat in and its a frenzy. put a beautiful woman in a room full of men and the same will happen. put an average looking woman in a room full of men the same will happen. hell put anything with a vagina in that room, they dont care. if youre a beautiful woman, youre used to getting tons of attention. if youre not so good looking youll get slightly less attention. what im getting at is its all a competition. my ideal girl is beautiful, polite, caring, intelligent, vibrant. i think she exists, but the problem is shes probably with someone who can say all the right stuff and with higher social status than me. i cant compete for her, so shes out of my league. even if i met her she wouldnt pay attention to me. so i could settle for an unattractive but polite girl with a good attitude. it has an advantage...she gets little attention from men, she will actually pay attention to you. unattractive women also tend to be less self absorbed and arrogant. they havent been spoiled by all the attention. I am a not considered beautiful by societies standards . I still think I am hot to many men..... I still get ample stares and make attention despite not being a beautiful woman. I think some average man would feel like they did well to get men. As opposed to thinking ow jeez the pretty girls won't want me so I will give Leigh 87 the non attractive chick a go... 1
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 but if youre a man whos rich, good looking, and better social status, then you dont need any of the positive qualities above. women are dating them and trying fix them by instilling these qualities in them. which doesnt work most of the time. You really think we are that limited? That social status and money is all we're after? Maybe it's not you the problem, maybe it's the type of women you've been going after. 5
Author mongo Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 You really think we are that limited? That social status and money is all we're after? Maybe it's not you the problem, maybe it's the type of women you've been going after. well i must have randomly picked all the wrong ones to talk to then. lol
mrs rubble Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I've dated some really rich guys- most of them are rich because they're tight-fisted, don't share and hate to be parted from their money....also most of the really good looking guy's I've dated have been, so into themselves, they barely rocognize anyone else exists...they also have a tendancy to cheat. It's more important to me to notice how a guy treats other people, how he listen's to people. 4
deathandtaxes Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Maybe it's not you the problem, maybe it's the type of women you've been going after. If it's all the cold approach at the bars and clubs, then yeah, it's definitely the women OP is going after. What's the chance you're actually going to click with some random lady at a bar or a club? On the surface, the only thing you have in common is that you're at the same bar. 1
aloneinaz Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I have to say you're massively over thinking this IMO.. If your only avenue is bars and night clubs to meet girls, then that's half your problem. I've been out with a male model good looking guy friend and watched him get flamed most of the night at a dance club. Clearly, it's not all looks to women or money. The last time I was single, I was un-employed and told each person that. I had no problems getting dates either. Have you tried OLD? You'll have much better odds on those dating sites than in bars. Why? Cause women there are WANTING to meet someone to date and have relationships with. You need to change your outlook my friend. I've seen averaging looking guys will average personalities hooking up with girls way above them. It's all about confidence in your own skin. Be genuine, nice, sincere, polite and you should have no trouble meeting someone if you look the way you describe yourself..
SammySammy Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 If it's all the cold approach at the bars and clubs, then yeah, it's definitely the women OP is going after. What's the chance you're actually going to click with some random lady at a bar or a club? On the surface, the only thing you have in common is that you're at the same bar. So true. I once heard a pimp say "you have to like the women that like you". Meaning that even a pimp can't pick up a woman who is not interested in him. So many of these guys walk around approaching random women and then moan and groan about getting rejected. You have to pay attention. Be alert and aware. Put more effort toward the ones that show some indication that they may be interested in you and not worry about the rest. 3
Author mongo Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 I have to say you're massively over thinking this IMO.. If your only avenue is bars and night clubs to meet girls, then that's half your problem. I've been out with a male model good looking guy friend and watched him get flamed most of the night at a dance club. Clearly, it's not all looks to women or money. The last time I was single, I was un-employed and told each person that. I had no problems getting dates either. Have you tried OLD? You'll have much better odds on those dating sites than in bars. Why? Cause women there are WANTING to meet someone to date and have relationships with. You need to change your outlook my friend. I've seen averaging looking guys will average personalities hooking up with girls way above them. It's all about confidence in your own skin. Be genuine, nice, sincere, polite and you should have no trouble meeting someone if you look the way you describe yourself.. no no no. ive approached women in many places. bookstores, coffee shops, grocery store, anywhere basically. theyre just bishes. pls... online dating is a joke.
Cowboysnation Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 ive had enough of the dating scene. its just too brutal. too much competition for the best women. i simply do not have the tools to compete. trust me im over 30 ive been in there...cold approaching women, bars, clubs, parties, you name it. its all the same game. ive suffered a lot of rejection, so much i cant approach anymore. i see a girl i fancy i know im gonna get rejected. why bother? all men are basically competing for the best looking women they can get/afford. we are like piranhas...throw some bloody meat in and its a frenzy. put a beautiful woman in a room full of men and the same will happen. put an average looking woman in a room full of men the same will happen. hell put anything with a vagina in that room, they dont care. if youre a beautiful woman, youre used to getting tons of attention. if youre not so good looking youll get slightly less attention. what im getting at is its all a competition. my ideal girl is beautiful, polite, caring, intelligent, vibrant. i think she exists, but the problem is shes probably with someone who can say all the right stuff and with higher social status than me. i cant compete for her, so shes out of my league. even if i met her she wouldnt pay attention to me. so i could settle for an unattractive but polite girl with a good attitude. it has an advantage...she gets little attention from men, she will actually pay attention to you. unattractive women also tend to be less self absorbed and arrogant. they havent been spoiled by all the attention. I understand your frustration but I wouldn't go for someone who is ugly. What about a girl who is average looking with a cool personality?
jay1983 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 .. online dating is a joke. Yeah lol no no no. ive approached women in many places. bookstores, coffee shops, grocery store, anywhere basically. theyre just bishes. pls.. Cold approaching doesn't work either, unless a women is flat staring at you. When a random women likes you'll know it. There are guys on here who say it works and they might be truthful, but I haven't gotten it to work since I was 22. Think about it, how many couples do you know where the man approached the woman at a coffee shop or book store or even a bar? I don't know any, it's always work mutual friends school or something like that. 1
Cowboysnation Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Yeah lol Cold approaching doesn't work either, unless a women is flat staring at you. When a random women likes you'll know it. There are guys on here who say it works and they might be truthful, but I haven't gotten it to work since I was 22. Think about it, how many couples do you know where the man approached the woman at a coffee shop or book store or even a bar? I don't know any, it's always work mutual friends school or something like that. Plus after hearing that some women smile at men in public because they are being polite which is the main reason not to do the cold approach.
jay1983 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Plus after hearing that some women smile at men in public because they are being polite which is the main reason not to do the cold approach. Well there's a smile and then there's a smile. You know when unattractive women look you in the straight in the eye and smile like they like what they see? That's the one. Lol 2
Cowboysnation Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Well there's a smile and then there's a smile. You know when unattractive women look you in the straight in the eye and smile like they like what they see? That's the one. Lol LOL, that's funny because all men want to believe that if a pretty women smiles at him she is interested. Ugly women will not generate the same feeling.
jay1983 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 LOL, that's funny because all men want to believe that if a pretty women smiles at him she is interested. Ugly women will not generate the same feeling. Hardest thing about dating is that attraction isn't always mutual. It's gets worse than that, cause a lot women (im sure some men do it too) will pass on a guy they think is cute cause he's not cute enough to give them butterflies, or he's cute but doesn't have the particular look she favors or isn't white. Lol 2
Cowboysnation Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Hardest thing about dating is that attraction isn't always mutual. It's gets worse than that, cause a lot women (im sure some men do it too) will pass on a guy they think is cute cause he's not cute enough to give them butterflies, or he's cute but doesn't have the particular look she favors or isn't white. Lol Dating was so easy at 19 because all I had to be was cute and easy to get along with and we were dating-lol Now that I am over 30 I got to have the right job, goals, stable employment, and a nice car and live alone . lol
jay1983 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Dating was so easy at 19 because all I had to be was cute and easy to get along with and we were dating-lol Now that I am over 30 I got to have the right job, goals, stable employment, and a nice car and live alone . lol You need a mouth piece dude, and I ain't talkin bout a grill guard. Lol
aloneinaz Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 pls... online dating is a joke. Why is OND a joke? Please expand. Personally, I loved it and found it to be perfect for myself. It's cheap to join, very convenient (don't have to leave the house) and there's plenty of attractive women looking for a relationship. It's so common now a days and honestly, I really never met any nut jobs on there, only nice, normal women who were looking for their next love of their lives.
Cowboysnation Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Why is OND a joke? Please expand. Personally, I loved it and found it to be perfect for myself. It's cheap to join, very convenient (don't have to leave the house) and there's plenty of attractive women looking for a relationship. It's so common now a days and honestly, I really never met any nut jobs on there, only nice, normal women who were looking for their next love of their lives. I;m guessing because you have to make a connection on a superficial level.
mandymor Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 First off, women are attracted to confident men. You could throw a woman in a roomful of men and she will probably be drawn to the one's that are more comfortable in their own skin. Secondly, most women want genuine, someone that can just be themselves. It sounds like you need to boost up your confidence and just be yourself. The right woman for you is the one that notices your good qualities.
ascendotum Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I am a not considered beautiful by societies standards . I still think I am hot to many men..... I still get ample stares and make attention despite not being a beautiful woman. I think some average man would feel like they did well to get men. As opposed to thinking ow jeez the pretty girls won't want me so I will give Leigh 87 the non attractive chick a go... Its not a case of hot/beautiful is the top 10% and the next 80% is average and the bottom 10% is ugly. People on here and IRL I see it too tend to think somewhat like this, though I see it more with women who downplay the height/well built physique in the men they date, but also acting humble with their success and their own looks, like you. "I'm no model" or "he's no model" or "he doesn't have a 6pack" is often quite misleading in terms of describing actually how sort after that person is in day to day life for the average person. I think with our shallow society we tend to benchmark ourselves and the people we desire in terms of that. Also I think the increase in aspirational marketing, increased worship of success & beauty, and the increase in focus on university education/career success also often leads people to think "I've worked hard, I've got the good qualifications/career/apartment/car, I deserve a great gf/bf" An awful lot of women in their 20s are desirable & sexy. Nature did a wonderful job in that regard so our species breeds. The increase in weight over the last 3 or so decades has upset the balance imo because its hit women's sex appeal harder than men's. I strongly suspect in OPs case overweight women are not part of his criteria for worthy gf. The hookup culture has also effected the balance as well imo. So easy for a woman to have nsa with men that would would not consider them worthy of a relationship, and that can distort their perception of their 'standard' and also lot of guy's feelings when it comes to competition for women. They are competing for a girl with guys who are happy to drop standards to have her as just a ons/fb/fwb/fling, and a big % of women are happy to go with it these days. As well he says "too much competition for the best women". The best women, so is he talking the top 10-20% here or what. Its hard in such posts to know if the person is shooting out of their league or not. If you see your more desirable friends go through lots of cute girls, it can be hard not to think all I want is just 1 of those girls for a gf and I would treat her so much better, but it doesn't work that way (even tho women might pitch how a guy treats them is more important, the guy needs to get over her first hurdle of attraction to be a contender). Bars, clubs are a tough scene unless you are good looking. His "honesty, devotion, support, love, intelligence, attentiveness, open mindedness," really wont count for all that much there...and I'm sure it goes the same way for him when it comes to the women there too. Parties are generally a great place to meet, and they were my favorite events to meet girls. The last few over 30s parties I've been too though it was tougher. More single men than women (I guess coz of single moms & women going out less). Most of the single women were overweight and competition for the 1or 2 other women was fierce. You have to fight for her attention and join the verbal pissing contest to try impress her more. If you placed a bet on her going home/giving her number to the hottest guy, you'd win your bet, so they are not as easy as when I was young. So in that respect its tough, but for a guy in his early 20s there should be so many more options and so many younger women have sex appeal. The more overt at showing it off, of course will attract more men (competition).
jay1983 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Why is OND a joke? Please expand. Personally, I loved it and found it to be perfect for myself. It's cheap to join, very convenient (don't have to leave the house) and there's plenty of attractive women looking for a relationship. It's so common now a days and honestly, I really never met any nut jobs on there, only nice, normal women who were looking for their next love of their lives. Oh man, I'll go ahead answer this for you. OLD there are is a bunch of women looking for someone more attractive and has more going for himself than they do. For example a size 16 with 3 kids looking for a fit good looking dude with a job. That and a bunch of women who like to text and flirt but don't wanna actually meet in person. 4
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