"I love you but not in love with you". Could use a ton of support.

[CCC00CCC]

I spent 2 years with a girl whom I was in a long distance relationship with. We both were head over heels with each other and we loved one another with everything in us, we were like amazing together. In January that all went down the drain. We barely could see each other but we DID speak. Literally texted from morning to night...slept on the phone all night. January was the last time we saw each other..before that we didn't see too much of each other either.

April we broke up. She broke up with me because she thought that she was holding me back from having fun and a life at college..she also felt tired of "speaking through a phone (bull ****ing ****)". Anyway, we got back talking two days later and we pretty much dated again. 5 days ago..we break up. The night that we broke up she claimed that she was in love with me and always would be but she was not sure if she wanted to continue her college career "tied down". I guess she expected me to be sad and upset but I told her I agreed..I didn't want to be either. I also told her she was not the girl I fell in love with, this is not the first time I told her this I also told her when we broke up last time. She was obviously distraught by that and we ended things on a better note but still not together.

I contacted her to see about something and we started to I guess not argue but finish saying unsaid words to one another. She was mad cause she said I wanted to be "having sex with other girls" and all this crap...and then she told me she loved me "as a best friend". Now, 3 nights ago she said she was in love with me and always would be so I was like okay she is just saying that to make me mad or for revenge of me saying that she was not the girl I fell in love with. She told me that she was not in love with me because "I CAN NOT TRUST YOU". Whatever..that means nothing. After she said that I was so pissed off because I feel like she is trying to play a game with me I was like furious..right before she said that she said that she open to rekindling a relationship if I worked on myself and proved it to her because "nothing I ever said I proved". That was a lie. I was there for her always whenever she needed me. I took that girl out of a suicidal phase and helped her when her dumb friends were not their to help her. I am sure they had a lot to do with the break up because she always sees them with their partners. Anyway..I just wrote her this long paragraph kind of going off on her about calling me a bad untrustworthy guy, told her I would always care for her and I told her I would one day tell my kids about her as she was my first love...(she said I was hers too). After that I blocked her on every social network and deleted her number as well as blocked it.

Its been a couple days and I can not stop thinking of her. I can, but it is hard to do. I feel like I don't wanna be with her then again I don't want her with anyone else. I just keep thinking of how she said she was not IN love with me anymore but loved me. If she would not have said that I would be fine. I did so much for her including saving her from suicide and being there for her 24/7..but she had the nerve to tell me that I was a bad guy, she can't trust me, etc. I plan on contacting her again one day but right now, no. I have no idea how she even responded to that whole big text I sent. What do you guys think is wrong with her? Is no contact the right thing to be doing? I did not tell her I would just be disappearing she thought we were going to be friends. I just need advice about EVERYTHING..PLEASE!

[Satu]

When someone tells you that they don't love you anymore, it usually means that they never did.

 

 

*No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

[FistOfTheNorthStar]

Hello welcome! So to start off. I would strictly keep it at the no contact level. I know it will hurt, all of those memories, all of the time (and maybe money) invested is gone. Well not necessarily you can make it a learning experience. Trust me brother, we all go through these things. My ex when she broke up with me told me she would always love me as her child's father and nothing more, however how could I be his father if she left me. I did take him under my wing but I loved them because I fell head over heels for her. Then she told me her new partner said I was a coward for walking away. All of this pain, it's not worth, whilst it hurts me to tell it, I'm doing so you know you're not alone. We can come to peace when we recognize what our own faults are. It's despicable to blame someone else for things, like you I got my ex out of the ghetto, brought her to a prospering neighborhood and lived paycheck by paycheck to keep her and her child happy. It's not worth it anymore once they leave hermano. Keep your chin up, cut all ties and let yourself heal for the right one. -F