JenRochester0594 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I don't know if my situation belongs in this thread but I'll tell my story anyway. So about a week ago, I met this guy on Tinder and he's really cute and kind. We talked the whole night on there but before our conversation ended, I fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up and he said he wants me to send him a picture of me. I told him that I will if he gives me his number. He did and I sent him a pic of me. Afterwards, we started talking through texts. He got really flirty after a few texts and wanted me to come to his place. I finally did on Tuesday and while at his place, we watched a TV show. Then after a few minutes, he moved my face so I was facing him and we started kissing. However, just yesterday, I learned that he was getting back with ex girlfriend and that made me all upset. I liked him honestly and wanted to date him but this has just gone too far....
Redhead14 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I don't know if my situation belongs in this thread but I'll tell my story anyway. So about a week ago, I met this guy on Tinder and he's really cute and kind. We talked the whole night on there but before our conversation ended, I fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up and he said he wants me to send him a picture of me. I told him that I will if he gives me his number. He did and I sent him a pic of me. Afterwards, we started talking through texts. He got really flirty after a few texts and wanted me to come to his place. I finally did on Tuesday and while at his place, we watched a TV show. Then after a few minutes, he moved my face so I was facing him and we started kissing. However, just yesterday, I learned that he was getting back with ex girlfriend and that made me all upset. I liked him honestly and wanted to date him but this has just gone too far.... Seriously, a guy you met through Tinder a week ago and have never met in person in a pubic setting and you go to his home and you're heartbroken. Geez. How old are you? I'm sorry for being snarky, but you need to start thinking about your safety and your dating approach especially on OLD. You put yourself in a very unsafe position with a stranger you knew nothing about. He wanted a one-night stand, got it and is moving on. How could you know you wanted to date him based on texts and sending pictures. From OLD, when you arrange to meet, the first meeting is a "meet up" for a short time over coffee or drinks to make sure the person is who they say they are and to make sure you two are on the same page in terms of what your dating goals are. If you're looking for a long-term dating partner and they say they are also. You date for a little while. You wait for them to be consistent with quality communication (not overt sexual communication or sexting), consistent with scheduling dates and clear as to their focus on you. You don't have sex with them until that is in place for a little while at least. Don't put yourself in unsafe situations and manage your emotions and expectations. 3
preraph Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 So you dodged a bullet because obviously what he is is a guy with a girlfriend and he cheats on her with one-night stands he gets off Tinder. Get off Tinder if you don't like players.
aloneinaz Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I don't know if my situation belongs in this thread but I'll tell my story anyway. So about a week ago, I met this guy on Tinder and he's really cute and kind. We talked the whole night on there but before our conversation ended, I fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up and he said he wants me to send him a picture of me. I told him that I will if he gives me his number. He did and I sent him a pic of me. Afterwards, we started talking through texts. He got really flirty after a few texts and wanted me to come to his place. I finally did on Tuesday and while at his place, we watched a TV show. Then after a few minutes, he moved my face so I was facing him and we started kissing. However, just yesterday, I learned that he was getting back with ex girlfriend and that made me all upset. I liked him honestly and wanted to date him but this has just gone too far.... I'm am flabbergasted that you'd meet a total stranger, make out and or sleep with him and then be heartbroken after one meet? Sweetie, really? You need to use better judgment in trying to meet someone. Dating sites would be much better to meet someone to date. You also have to worry about your safety as was mentioned already. Pls be careful with your decisions. 1
Author JenRochester0594 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 Okay, I think you guys are overreacting here. First, I did not have sex with him. We just kissed. Second, it was my stupid friend who recommended me to go on tinder because I was having bad luck with guys at my school. She said it was a dating app but whatever, she probably got it wrong. Third, this guy goes to a school close to mine and he graduated last year from that school. He's currently a lab technician and works at this lab which is a couple of minutes away from my school. Lastly, I'm inexperienced with dating since I never had a boyfriend.
CarrieT Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 She said it was a dating app but whatever, she probably got it wrong. Tinder is a hook-up app so any guy you meet there will be expecting sex. Lastly, I'm inexperienced with dating since I never had a boyfriend. Then you should stay off Tinder. You got emotionally invested way too quickly; before you really knew who the guy was. You got attached because he showed you physical affection (another reason to stay off Tinder). What others said: You dodged a bullet.
Author JenRochester0594 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 Okay, thanks for the advice you guys. I did get carried away with that guy so I forgot that he's a total stranger. I'll stay off tinder from now on. 1
Redhead14 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Okay, thanks for the advice you guys. I did get carried away with that guy so I forgot that he's a total stranger. I'll stay off tinder from now on. You don't have to stay off Tinder. You need to do a better job of screening and setting up meetings. Keep your emotions and expectations in check and stick to ground rules with each new dating scenario that's all. 2
Author JenRochester0594 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 Thanks again guys, I really have to better plan meetings with men I meet on Tinder. Yes, I dodged the bullet but I'll learn to be careful next time. FYI, I finished my third year of college just in case any of you guys might be wondering how old I am. I know it sounds weird but I've honestly never dated anyone in the past.
Fleur de cactus Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Sorry we are yelling at you! but we want you to learn a lesson. You are young in dating but before you date online, read warning on websites! If you are in college you should know safety measures in dating and what to expect. You met online, you went to his place for the first face to face meeting. Remember Philip Markoff was a medical student!! and others!! I know you like him, and he may be cute but next time, you have to wonder why he is in hurry to meet at his place for the first time. Why he does not want to be meet in public so other people see you together? even if your friends know him it is not enough. Be careful in the future. In regards to your guy dont be surprised, he may only want to have fun sex and no thing serious between you. Good luck.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 You don't have to stay off Tinder. You need to do a better job of screening and setting up meetings. Keep your emotions and expectations in check and stick to ground rules with each new dating scenario that's all. Agreed. OP, it's never wise to go to the home of a stranger on the first meeting. It doesn't matter which school he attended or what his current job is - the point is that you don't know him. His education and employment mean zilch in that regard. It's not a bad thing that you've never had a boyfriend. You just need to tread cautiously and use good judgement because some guys will be able to detect that lack of experience and use it to their advantage. Tinder, as you now know, isn't really a dating app. It's primarily for hook-ups/sex. Keep that in mind going forward and keep yourself and your heart safe.
Redhead14 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Thanks again guys, I really have to better plan meetings with men I meet on Tinder. Yes, I dodged the bullet but I'll learn to be careful next time. FYI, I finished my third year of college just in case any of you guys might be wondering how old I am. I know it sounds weird but I've honestly never dated anyone in the past. This is not necessarily a bad thing Now you are starting with a "clean" slate so to speak and in the best position. If you set your dating goals and adopt a dating approach now and be consistent with it, you will have better luck in getting dates that will allow you to go through the dating process with little to no carry over of damage when leaving dating partners behind. Successful dating is not about finally getting into a relationship. It's about giving yourself the best dating scenarios and being able to leave them before your emotionally invested when things don't go right and moving on to new ones with your dignity in tact and less "baggage".
losangelena Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Dating's a learning curve, no matter how old you are. I didn't date seriously until my 30s, and I got overly invested with the first few guys I met, too. It's normal. Don't dwell over this too long. Calibrate your approach and recalibrate—that will be necessary no matter how long you date.
Author JenRochester0594 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 Once again, thanks for the advice. I made a mistake of going to the guy's house when we first met up and I've learned not to do that again.
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