sandymcdc Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I've been dating this guy for 5 months... we had a fight 2 weeks ago and he came over and tell me I mean so much to him and he doesn't want me to be away from him and he doesn't want to lose me... he was planning to surprise me on my graduation... but then yesterday he told me that his ex girlfriend that he used to love so much came to his work and start crying and begging him for a second chance.. he told me he doesn't want her back but she uses his weak points I really cant understand how could someone love a person and use his weak points. .. i asked him which one of us would he chose he told me that she was the girl he had dream with and I am the amazing girl he never thought he would meet and change him.I really dont feel happy because im scared that im falling in love with him and I dont know if I should tell him. PLEASE HELP
ExpatInItaly Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I've been dating this guy for 5 months... we had a fight 2 weeks ago and he came over and tell me I mean so much to him and he doesn't want me to be away from him and he doesn't want to lose me... he was planning to surprise me on my graduation... but then yesterday he told me that his ex girlfriend that he used to love so much came to his work and start crying and begging him for a second chance.. he told me he doesn't want her back but she uses his weak points I really cant understand how could someone love a person and use his weak points. .. i asked him which one of us would he chose he told me that she was the girl he had dream with and I am the amazing girl he never thought he would meet and change him.I really dont feel happy because im scared that im falling in love with him and I dont know if I should tell him. PLEASE HELP So, he couldn't really answer your question. That's how I read it, anyway. I think you need to have a very open conversation with him about the current status. I'm not sure if he told you about this incident with his ex just for the sake of transparency, or if he is re-considering her. I know he said he doesn't want her back but I'm confused by his response to your question. Also, you say you've been dating for 5 months. Have you not agreed that you are in a relationship yet?
Redhead14 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I've been dating this guy for 5 months... we had a fight 2 weeks ago and he came over and tell me I mean so much to him and he doesn't want me to be away from him and he doesn't want to lose me... he was planning to surprise me on my graduation... but then yesterday he told me that his ex girlfriend that he used to love so much came to his work and start crying and begging him for a second chance.. he told me he doesn't want her back but she uses his weak points I really cant understand how could someone love a person and use his weak points. .. i asked him which one of us would he chose he told me that she was the girl he had dream with and I am the amazing girl he never thought he would meet and change him.I really dont feel happy because im scared that im falling in love with him and I dont know if I should tell him. PLEASE HELP A woman who plays on a man's weaknesses is manipulative, cold and selfish. He is aware of the fact that she is doing that. He told you about her coming there, so he's trying to focus on you. Otherwise, he'd have kept it a secret. He's not playing games with you, he's giving you a heads up. What you need to do is highlight his strengths now that you know this. Be so different from her that he is distracted from those weaknesses and her. Tell him now that you are enjoying the relationship you two have now and point out all the good things about him and the relationship and why it's working for you. Make the conversation light and casual. You don't have to tell him you love him, show him you appreciate him for who he is weaknesses and strengths. Invite him to do somethings he enjoys and do more things that will bond you two so that his history with her is overshadowed.
d0nnivain Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Do not tell him you love him. Point out that she already broke his heart once & her coming back only means he's her 2nd choice. Tell him you were developing feelings for him & thought based on what he said that you meant something to him so you hope he'll stick around to see what you two can build together. Sadly, I think he's going to pick her. If he wasn't going to, he already would have told her to go away. He just feels bad because he's hurting you in the process. Prepare yourself for the worst.
Author sandymcdc Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 He used to love her so much and they were together for 3 years then he discovered she loved his money more than him... he's such a sweet person cant believe how could she hurt him... anyway he showed me many conversations between both of them and he was telling her to go and he doesn't want her back and to leave him alone... but she's not leaving him and I dont know why is she like that!! Doesn't she have some dignity
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 He used to love her so much and they were together for 3 years then he discovered she loved his money more than him... he's such a sweet person cant believe how could she hurt him... anyway he showed me many conversations between both of them and he was telling her to go and he doesn't want her back and to leave him alone... but she's not leaving him and I dont know why is she like that!! Doesn't she have some dignity Men that get stuck on women like are drawn to b*tches and drama.
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