why do people who dump you write emails saying they love and miss you? .. grrrrrrrr

[wishfulthinking76]

I just need to vent my frustrations...

 

I hate how my ex writes me these emails and has these phone calls that purposely string me along. Today I got an email from my ex that said he misses me, likes talking to me, wants to always be there for me, and that I should call him anytime. He also ended it with "I love you". He constantly talks about how things may just fall into place in the future. I shouldn't have read the email but I still love him and it makes me curious! Why is he writing these things ... is it that he feels sorry for me? I am honestly trying to minimize contact with him because I realize the sooner I get over this selfish loser the sooner I'll be able to find someone who appreciates me. I am no longer contacting him and will make it a rule to only chat for a minute if he calls me. But in the mean time does he have to keep up with the misleading words ... I know they are misleading because his actions say "I am just not that into you anymore". I want to believe his words but I keep telling myself that actions speak louder then words. He honestly doesn't understand that saying these things in an email/phone call are so selfish because I want to believe them and then the confusion inhibits me from moving on! Grrrrr ........

[johan]

Telling him how you feel is probably going to take more than the minute you've allotted yourself for conversations on the phone. Unless you talk fast and don't let him say anything.

 

I imagine you've already responded to his emails asking him to knock it off.

 

If he is still determined to love-spam you, I'd recommend filtering his emails into the trash or some other folder. Maybe save them for some time when you feel tough enough to read them.

 

I can't say why he's sending them. Remorse maybe. I sent my girlfriend (ex or whatever she is) an email the other day telling her I miss her and love her. But we are having this time off because she's a commitment-phobe and can't trust me. I didn't dump her, we just agreed that our future looks bleak no matter how we feel about each other. So I think I am justified in sending her a message reminding her that I really do love her, and I hope she can beat her fears for me.

 

I guess how each person reads the circumstances might make it seem more or less like a good idea.

[ConfusedInOC]

It will be a long time before my Ex does this to me, if ever, and by that time, I will have moved on.

[BrotherAaron]

My ex just started doing this to me... and we're both seeing other people.

 

I'll never find out why she's writing these emails - whether it's to mess with me or to actually get back with me - because I'm ignoring them. I recommend the same for you, and for anyone in this situation.

[simon_uk]

My ex played a song over my voice mail at 4AM, when I made a move two days later she screamed at me, told me I was ruining her day and that she didnt want me!!!! She said she did it whilst drunk and she shouldn't have done. Then a few hours later I get a text saying shame it took you two days to react and shame you didnt ask me to marry you when I loved you that much!!!

[ReluctantRomeo]

I have had exes do this too. It's a cocktail of guilt, loneliness and a desire to get back with you. The proportions vary, but those are the 3 main ingredients. Shaken, not stirred. With a dash of self-pity. Often "on the rocks"

[GreenCap]

You are lucky that your ex still writes to you. Mine got engaged two months after we broke up and will marry in the summer. This is a not comparison of my hurt is bigger than your hurt.

 

I am just hurting; the pain coming from the extinguishment of hope that I will ever get her back....never ever.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by BrotherAaron

My ex just started doing this to me... and we're both seeing other people.

 

I'll never find out why she's writing these emails - whether it's to mess with me or to actually get back with me - because I'm ignoring them. I recommend the same for you, and for anyone in this situation.

 

Amen!

[wishfulthinking76]

Wow ... that must have been really hard to hear and deal with. But at least now you know that this particular chapter of your life is fully closed. Hang in there because destiny/the universe wants you to experience bigger and better things then the life she could have given you

[whichwayisup]

Because they can't 100% let go...Bit of contact is just feeding that last little bit of something in their hearts...