FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Hey guys. So I asked if it was fair for me to help my ex with half of her bills. I've heard a lot of definite nos and I agree. However, when we were together I let one bill go by for awhile since it was something we never really used. So I sent her the amount of that one bill and blocked her. I don't expect her to come back. Nor do I want or need her to. Ah I also forgot to ask, when we broke up I deactivated my Facebook account because it would have been too painful to delete all of our pictures together especially with the kid, also we literally always tagged each other in love posts and how we were meant to be together forever. I don't want to see any of that. Finally, her family added me and for being dysfunctional they accepted me for being a father to her child and accepting her as she was, I don't want them to talk to me if I was on because it's not my duty to explain to them what happened. So with this, I did start to tear up remembering how painful it would be to remove these pictures. Do any of you guys feel the same? Will it be easier in the future? I feel like when I find another girlfriend whom I get close to I will ask her to delete all of the pictures as well as posts for me. Anyways. Love and prosperity to you all. -F
DexterLS Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 It will get better if you stick to No Contact. No Contact is not just about not communicating with her, it's also about going on Facebook and seeing things you did together. You need to let go of all that or else you will never heal as fast as you want to. I deactivated my other Facebook account post-breakup and made a new one to add only my close friends. On this new Facebook account, I blocked her, her friends and her family so no one can get in touch with me about her. I suggest you do the same and you will start to feel better and find it easier to let go of her and her memories. Oh, and over the course of six years, I had tons of photos, videos, e-mails that I got rid of. Not a single trace of her in my life anymore. 1
sowhynot Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 (edited) Well . . personally, I kept all the photos of times out with ex. even backed them up so I couldn't loose them. The break up was pretty clean and there's no animosity towards her on my part. We had some really nice times together - well, I thought so ! - I don't want to throw out any reminders of them out with the rubbish*... Be nice to look at them again when I'm old and decrepit. Which means I shouldn't have to wait too long ! * 'Garbage' for our American readers. Edited June 5, 2015 by sowhynot I can't spell .... 1
ZiggyZoo Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Yeah, it'll get easier for you to go back and delete the pictures and everything. Or else do as suggested, and just start another FB account. Did I read correctly, you mentioned when you get another girlfriend, having HER delete the pictures and stuff between you and your ex? Yeah, do NOT do that. That's YOUR past, not hers.
Author FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 Yes very true. To be honest since I've gotten off of Facebook I don't really miss it too much. It's not an important factor and I have no need to have one either way, when I remembered all of those things though it made me sad that's why I asked. Thanks though guys, much appreciated! -F
aloneinaz Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Well . . personally, I kept all the photos of times out with ex. even backed them up so I couldn't loose them. The break up was pretty clean and there's no animosity towards her on my part. We had some really nice times together - well, I thought so ! - I don't want to throw out any reminders of them out with the rubbish*... Be nice to look at them again when I'm old and decrepit. Which means I shouldn't have to wait too long ! * 'Garbage' for our American readers. There was another thread on here about whether to pitch memento's and pictures when a relationship ends or not. Some absolutely throw away everything and delete pictures and videos once a relationship ends. Some do what you're describing. I have pictures of past relationships from decades ago. I can't recall the last time I looked at them nor do I have any real desire too. It just makes me question myself in why I'm keeping/storing them at all. I guess it's an individual case by case basis.
Thecondor1991 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I got rid of 90% of the things my ex wrote me, gave me, and shared with me. There was one or two things I kept because I just couldn't part with them. She kept all of the things I gave her, and that's fine. My advice to you would be this, If you feel like those memories are important to you but are too painful to see everyday, then I would just put them somewhere you cant see them. I took all the things I couldn't let go of, put them in a box, and gave them to my brother to hold onto until I was strong enough to see them again. If its the pictures on your facebook then I would save all the pictures to a usb flash drive, or sd card, and then delete them from your facebook, that way you still have them but dont have to look at them every time you log into facebook. Then one day when you feel your strong enough, or that you've completely moved on, you can look at the pictures and enjoy them for what they are, good memories.
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