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The significance of prior friendship, etc


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Been thinking about how things were with the ex I'm currently pining for before we ever got together, and what conclusions might be drawn from looking at that. I'd known her since she was sixteen, before we became a couple about a year ago, when she was about to turn 24. I've been trying to remind myself, as some kind of comfort, that I didn't feel extremely magnetized to her before we ever kissed and took our friendship further. As roommates we spent a lot of time together, I found her sexy/fun/insightful, and being single I thought about the possibility of us hooking up. But her beauty, which I now am haunted by and consider extremely unique and perfect, wasn't irresistable to me. And her personality, which now seems like the most perfectly suited to mine I could imagine, wasn't charming enough to me that I ever felt I needed to make her mine. In fact, when friends would prod about the possibility of us getting together, I always very assuredly said "she's just my homegirl".

 

I'm not saying there's much to conclude from this. Love makes you see a person in a whole new light obviously. I guess it just gives me hope in a time when I can look around at a city full of objectively attractive women, many of whom have good minds/hearts, and think "there's never gonna be someone as right as her for me". It's the process of opening up to one another and sharing special moments that makes love become the intense thing it does.

 

That being said, I can realistically say her and I have a very rare connection. I don't expect to find one like it any time soon. The vast majority of people aren't that cool. But it's reassuring to be reminded, when things seem bleak and you're fixated on that one person, that there's potentially a lot more than meets the eye behind every face you meet...

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