1233 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Girl i'm into was away for a couple of weeks, she was aware that talking over the net wasn't my thing but we gave it a go. It didn't work and I told her to enjoy herself and text me when she's back. Before she went away we went on 6 fantastic dates. She's now been back a week but i haven't heard from her. I never usually think/feel like this but we got on well. Do I text her or just leave it? I was thinking a simple 'Hey what's up? Are you available this weekend?". 1
Jame22 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 (edited) Girl i'm into was away for a couple of weeks, she was aware that talking over the net wasn't my thing but we gave it a go. It didn't work and I told her to enjoy herself and text me when she's back. Before she went away we went on 6 fantastic dates. She's now been back a week but i haven't heard from her. I never usually think/feel like this but we got on well. Do I text her or just leave it? I was thinking a simple 'Hey what's up? Are you available this weekend?". Tough question! I'm currently dealing with a similar situation. I'd lean towards walking away and leaving it alone. You told her plain and clear that you wanted her to text you when you got back. It takes two to build a healthy relationship, if she's not willing to put in any effort drop her. Plus, I've found that If a woman has ANY interest in you and you leave her alone she WILL come back eventually. Edited June 5, 2015 by Jame22 1
Author 1233 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 Tough question! I'm currently dealing with a similar situation. I'd lean towards walking away and leaving it alone. You told her plain and clear that you wanted her to text you when you got back. It takes two to build a healthy relationship, if she's not willing to put in any effort drop her. Plus, I've found that If a woman has ANY interest in you and you leave her alone she WILL come back eventually. Good points, her loss. We declared to each other that we were 'off the market' before she went away which makes this even weirder. C'est la vie.
aloneinaz Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 What happened with the online chatting? Any friction or other drama? If not, wait 1 more week to see if she reaches out. If she doesn't, it wouldn't hurt to send her a casual text asking how her trip was. Based on how she responds, then you can gauge if you should ask her out or not.
Jame22 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Good points, her loss. We declared to each other that we were 'off the market' before she went away which makes this even weirder. C'est la vie. I know it's hard. But if it's meant to be she'll contact you. I actually agree with aloneinaz. One more text after a week or so probably wouldn't hurt. But don't send any more than one!
shinyprettything Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Wait, I don't get it. You have a hangup and are inflexible about keeping in touch through the internet but expect her to perfectly hold to texting you when she got back. Doesn't seem fair. Put your ego aside and contact her once and go from there. Think positively. 2
Jame22 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Wait, I don't get it. You have a hangup and are inflexible about keeping in touch through the internet but expect her to perfectly hold to texting you when she got back. Doesn't seem fair. Put your ego aside and contact her once and go from there. Think positively. I think it's perfectly fair. He told her what he wanted and now the ball is in her court. If she doesn't like it she can peace out. I do agree that it wouldn't hurt to take one more shot. But she is in the wrong
caringsister Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Girl i'm into was away for a couple of weeks, she was aware that talking over the net wasn't my thing but we gave it a go. It didn't work and I told her to enjoy herself and text me when she's back. Before she went away we went on 6 fantastic dates. She's now been back a week but i haven't heard from her. I never usually think/feel like this but we got on well. Do I text her or just leave it? I was thinking a simple 'Hey what's up? Are you available this weekend?". Maybe start with how was your trip and talk about what she did. Did she have a good time so on ... she will appreciate you taking an interest. Then after you've broken the ice ask her if she has any plans this weekend 2
SunnySide0418 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Life is short. Text her to see how her trip was and take it from there. If she's not receptive then you move on. 3
courtneykay Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I would text her. Yeah it's annoying that she hasn't texted you first, but often times girls expect the guy to make the first move. Obviously it's pretty immature but a lot of people do it. If this is something you're interested in pursuing, I would swallow your pride and text her! Who knows, maybe she has been waiting on a text even though the ball was in her court. 1
Popsicle Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 (edited) Girl i'm into was away for a couple of weeks, she was aware that talking over the net wasn't my thing but we gave it a go. It didn't work and I told her to enjoy herself and text me when she's back. Before she went away we went on 6 fantastic dates. She's now been back a week but i haven't heard from her. I never usually think/feel like this but we got on well. Do I text her or just leave it? I was thinking a simple 'Hey what's up? Are you available this weekend?". Girls like to TALK to guys they like. Just saying... If you won't talk to her, then she'll just go talk to someone else, maybe another guy who will talk to her. Edited June 5, 2015 by Popsicle
katiegrl Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 What do you mean the internet chatting didn't work out? How so? Putting myself in her shoes, if the guy I was dating suddenly stopped wanting to chat with me and said "text me when you get back, " I would feel somewhat rejected, and feel like he either met someone else or lost interest. So no, I would not text him when I returned. Contrary to what you think, the ball is in your court. YOU are the one who cut off the chatting....YOU need to contact her if you want to see her again. 2
shinyprettything Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 It takes two to build a healthy relationship, if she's not willing to put in any effort drop her. You said it yourself. It takes two to build a healthy relationship. Agree with that. Why is it ok that OP can say internet is not his thing then but his girl may believe initiating texts isn't her thing? I'm thinking that is the problem which is why one more text is the solution. Enough of an effort. How silly will it be if he loses this girl he likes because the internet isn't his thing? He should have at least just pre-empt'd it and said have a good trip, I'll be in touch when you get back, knowing he hates the internet and it's not necessary to talk while she is gone. Instead he got particular and weird by agreeing to keep in touch that way and then rescinding the offer when it became "too much" for him. She is probably considering whether or not she can deal with his neuroses. That's a dumb one. I would have more respect for the guy if he just man'd up and didn't talk to her while she's gone because that's how trips are and a little distance could have been a good thing. They were new couple anyway so not necessary to keep in constant contact.
Author 1233 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 I text her today, no response. I feel rather pathetic now, but life goes on.
katiegrl Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I text her today, no response. I feel rather pathetic now, but life goes on. What did your text say? No need to feel pathetic. Again, YOU were the one who suddenly wanted to stop communicating/chatting (keeping the connection alive while she was out of town)....so the ball *was* in your court. She may have felt rejected....I would have! If she does not respond....perhaps she lost the connection you developed and/or another guy swooped in. That is the risk one takes in these very early stages when they suddenly stop communications.... in your case chatting. 2
Redhead14 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 (edited) What did your text say? No need to feel pathetic. Again, YOU were the one who suddenly wanted to stop communicating/chatting (keeping the connection alive while she was out of town)....so the ball *was* in your court. She may have felt rejected....I would have! If she does not respond....perhaps she lost the connection you developed and/or another guy swooped in. That is the risk one takes in these very early stages when they suddenly stop communications.... in your case chatting. Yep, he said have a great time, text me when you're back. He should have said, have a great time and stay in touch. Or sent her a light text mid-way through her trip. He had 6 great dates and let the momentum stop. I might say that he may have had a little insecurity somewhere along the line even if there were 6 great dates, otherwise, he wouldn't have left it to her to get back to him. People do this kind of thing because they have some little fear that something was off, so they want to Test the situation to see if that person really has sincere enough interest. Maybe he was, as they say, doing all the work in these 6 dates and he wasn't feeling enough reciprocation on her part. A few dates in, the woman should be doing some initiating. So either she wasn't because she was maybe a little clueless or was waiting for the trip to come so that she could let it die down naturally. Don't really know, but since she isn't responding now, that could be the case or she just now thinks he lost interest while she was away. Edited June 5, 2015 by Redhead14
Gary S Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 If you can't see them at least once a week in the beginning, it's going to be tough to establish a relationship.
fred123 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Girls like to TALK to guys they like. Just saying... If you won't talk to her, then she'll just go talk to someone else, maybe another guy who will talk to her. nope girls also talk to guys they don't like. they just like talking to people for the attention . trust me I'm a guy
Author 1233 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 Thanks guys, great advise and nice to hear it from a different pov. I respect her decision but would rather have heard it from her. At least it's the weekend
Popsicle Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 nope girls also talk to guys they don't like. they just like talking to people for the attention . trust me I'm a guy True but they prefer it from the guy they like.
fred123 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 True but they prefer it from the guy they like. Then how do we know as a guy which one we are?! Help us!
Popsicle Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 Then how do we know as a guy which one we are?! Help us! You can't know until you start getting into romantic and sexual dynamics so push for those.
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