Thaddius Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) Me and my ex just had a huge argument 2 days ago and we broke up yesterday. The fight started with her being at fault but I responded poorly so ended with me escalating it more than it should of. After a day of no talking, she decided to end things with me last night and said to just be friends, which I expected. After cooling off I told her that I accepted her decision and that maybe this was for the better. I told her that its a shame we didnt work but being friends is the least we could do because we get along extremely well when it comes to humor, interests, and basically anything that could be interpreted platonic. I can say that we ended nicely. When we decided to end things it happened so fast, we didnt resolve the previous fight or even talked about it. She just randomly called me to end things, I agreed, apologized for the previous night and we said our goodbyes. But now that I've ran it through my head many times. I want closure to questions. I want to know what was the reason for breaking up(if it was just solely because of argument or more). I want to know why she acted the way she did that lead to the argument, etc. Should I just let things go for now and maybe find those answers later? Or would it be okay to ask her despite how we've officially ended? Yes a part of me still likes her, and I felt like I could've done better but the majority of the reason is just so I can improve on what I messed up on and get her input. TL/DR: Me and my Ex broke up so fast and still have lingering questions. Should I wait to ask or is it okay to ask even though we're done? Edited June 4, 2015 by Thaddius
neowulf Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Me and my ex just had a huge argument 2 days ago and we broke up yesterday. The fight started with her being at fault but I responded poorly so ended with me escalating it more than it should of. After a day of no talking, she decided to end things with me last night and said to just be friends, which I expected. After cooling off I told her that I accepted her decision and that maybe this was for the better. I told her that its a shame we didnt work but being friends is the least we could do because we get along extremely well when it comes to humor, interests, and basically anything that could be interpreted platonic. I can say that we ended nicely. When we decided to end things it happened so fast, we didnt resolve the previous fight or even talked about it. She just randomly called me to end things, I agreed, apologized for the previous night and we said our goodbyes. But now that I've ran it through my head many times. I want closure to questions. I want to know what was the reason for breaking up(if it was just solely because of argument or more). I want to know why she acted the way she did that lead to the argument, etc. Should I just let things go for now and maybe find those answers later? Or would it be okay to ask her despite how we've officially ended? Yes a part of me still likes her, and I felt like I could've done better but the majority of the reason is just so I can improve on what I messed up on and get her input. TL/DR: Me and my Ex broke up so fast and still have lingering questions. Should I wait to ask or is it okay to ask even though we're done? My advice? Write her a letter. Sit down, clear your head and get *all* the questions you've got out on paper. Draft it a few times. Make sure you ask exactly the right questions in the right way. Give it too her, then move on with your life. Once you breakup, any obligations that person once had to you are over. They don't owe you answers or closure. You can ask sure, but yoiu can't demand, or expect. Closure really comes from an internal process anyway. From letting go. 1
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