TrevorDia Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Quick backstory: Spent the past 6 weeks without her toxic personality, and for the last 3 weeks I've been doing really well. Then yesterday I saw a video of her my friend posted on FB, I got mad, killed my laptop, and today I haven't been able to stop thinking about her - got really close to messaging her, but somehow resisted, and now I just can't stop hating her for making me feel this way. I want to get back at her. For every crappy moment, I want it back. For every minute I spent thinking about her, I want it back. For everything I bought her, I want it back. I know this is just me being petty, but yeah. I kinda want to tear her world apart. What's the best way to get back at your scumbag of an ex?
aloneinaz Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 What's the best way to get back at your scumbag of an ex? First of all, you should have NO means of seeing her, hearing from her, etc. When my ex ended us, I blocked her, her friends, family, EVERYBODY.. I didn't want to hear/see/contact or anything for the very reason you're posting this question. It will only piss you off. The best way to get back at her? Dead silence.. She should not see you, hear from you, know anything about your life post break up.. People HATE to be ignored.. HATE IT.. Silence from you means you don't give a $hit about what she's up to. You've moved on.. The second best thing? Meet someone else and be happy. That also would bother her even if she's over you. She'll know that you've moved on w/out her and you're no longer a fall back if life w/out you isn't as good. I shared before that when my ex ended us, I VANISHED from her life. She heard nothing from me. I started dating and met my now long term GF a few months later. I childishly un-blocked her on FB and some pics of me and my GF where "accidently" left public so people who were not my friends could view them. Oh, my GF is much better looking than the ex too. Was it childish and meant that I still cared? Yup.. but it still felt good. Especially when she came back after me a couple months after I did that and mentioned the pics on her email.. The best part is she was told NO THANKS to any idea of getting back together. 1
Author TrevorDia Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 You're both right. I'm not actually going to take any kind of revenge on her. It's not her fault she's enjoying her life. I just like the fantasy, haha 1
hudson701 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 By living well. It's true. They never get to see it though. And what a fantasy that is, something I think about daily. 1
jen1447 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 That's not always true. There are some exes who keep in touch, some exes who just reach out once in a while, some exes who stalk your social media, etc. Chances are actually pretty good they'll know, and even if they don't, the main reason you're living well is for you anyway. 3
aloneinaz Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 That's not always true. There are some exes who keep in touch, some exes who just reach out once in a while, some exes who stalk your social media, etc. Chances are actually pretty good they'll know, and even if they don't, the main reason you're living well is for you anyway. I strongly agree with this. Most exes, especially dumpers (even when they don't miss them) get curious about the ex, especially when the ex vanishes from their life. They do stalk social media and try to learn what they are up too. As mentioned, you best revenge is for her to her dead silence from you and for you to move onto someone better. Who knows, you may just have the opportunity one day to bump into the ex with a hotter girl on you arm and feel absolutely nothing for the ex. 2
d0nnivain Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 You're both right. I'm not actually going to take any kind of revenge on her. It's not her fault she's enjoying her life. I just like the fantasy, haha At least you realize you can't actually do anything. Personally I wish in my brain non lethal but seriously crappy things on them. For example, a former friend who became abusive to me was running in some competition the other day -- it was a race up & down the stairs of some 20+ story building. In the days before, I kept hoping that she would twist an ankle or blow out her bad knee by doing the event. Neither happened & she finished with a great time but I felt better wishing those bad things on her. I know it's petty but . . .*shrug* 2
Satu Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I don't go for revenge, but if you want to heal your hurts, you could start with this: *No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.
hudson701 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I strongly agree with this. Most exes, especially dumpers (even when they don't miss them) get curious about the ex, especially when the ex vanishes from their life. They do stalk social media and try to learn what they are up too. As mentioned, you best revenge is for her to her dead silence from you and for you to move onto someone better. Who knows, you may just have the opportunity one day to bump into the ex with a hotter girl on you arm and feel absolutely nothing for the ex. Yes that is the ultimate fantasy, and if it were to happen I know it would crush my ex.
Jonp219 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Quick backstory: Spent the past 6 weeks without her toxic personality, and for the last 3 weeks I've been doing really well. Then yesterday I saw a video of her my friend posted on FB, I got mad, killed my laptop, and today I haven't been able to stop thinking about her - got really close to messaging her, but somehow resisted, and now I just can't stop hating her for making me feel this way. I want to get back at her. For every crappy moment, I want it back. For every minute I spent thinking about her, I want it back. For everything I bought her, I want it back. I know this is just me being petty, but yeah. I kinda want to tear her world apart. What's the best way to get back at your scumbag of an ex? Throw eggs at her house. I'm just joking, I agree with everyone else. The way to get back at them is to stop talking to them and live your life to the fullest. They usually come back when they see you're doing good anyway. Then you could reject her and tell her she's not awesome enough to be with you .
aloneinaz Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Yes that is the ultimate fantasy, and if it were to happen I know it would crush my ex. Exactly.. It's the number one fantasy we all have after the end of a relationship, especially when we're dumped. The problem? It always seems to happen when we no longer care. My dumper came back after me 5.5 months after ending us, begging for another chance. I said no because I don't believe in reconciliations and I had a new GF. A year post getting dumped, my GF and I were in a grocery store and this little girl came up and said hello. It was my ex's daughter. The ex hid from us down another isle. I wasn't happy nor excited that she saw me happy with someone else. I actually felt sorry for my dumper ex because it had to suck for her because I knew she still wanted another chance with me.
candie13 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 plenty of things you can do: - remove her from your social media - remove all of her friends from your social media - delete all of your pics together from social media - that includes tags, locations, etc - same for pics of you from her friends, if you were tagged when hanging out with them, etc - Go to the gym, stay healthy, lose weight, get fit, get tanned - get some amazing new profile pics (trust me, they do check); try not to be an attention b*tch and chance twice per day those pics, either. Once per week, is more than enough - avoid like the plague the places where she and her friends hang out If you do all this, you cut them out from your life and actively showing them that they do not belong in your life - now or later. If this person has a toxic personality, it will drive her mad, toxic relationships are high on control. and as everyone else said, doing well, staying happy and calm, drama free, is the best revenge. Ba patient, it takes a lot of time and effort to cut all ties with toxic people. But stay focused, make no compromises and you'll make it.
jen1447 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Exactly.. It's the number one fantasy we all have after the end of a relationship, especially when we're dumped. The problem? It always seems to happen when we no longer care. My dumper came back after me 5.5 months after ending us, begging for another chance. I said no because I don't believe in reconciliations and I had a new GF. A year post getting dumped, my GF and I were in a grocery store and this little girl came up and said hello. It was my ex's daughter. The ex hid from us down another isle. I wasn't happy nor excited that she saw me happy with someone else. I actually felt sorry for my dumper ex because it had to suck for her because I knew she still wanted another chance with me. That really is the ultimate irony - by the time you get over them, which is coincidentally the best time to get 'revenge,' you don't want revenge anymore and might even feel bad for them if they suffer. If only you could bank some of the pain you felt earlier, haha.
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 That really is the ultimate irony - by the time you get over them, which is coincidentally the best time to get 'revenge,' you don't want revenge anymore and might even feel bad for them if they suffer. If only you could bank some of the pain you felt earlier, haha. This is so true. I went through something pretty traumatic with my first ex and hated him for years. I wanted him to "suffer" like I did. Come to find out a couple of months ago, the woman he left me for (and mother of his two children) has cancer and is being hospitalized quite often. I feel so much sympathy for him. No hate or resentment anymore. I genuinely wish for his situation to get better and wish him the best. Granted, only a totally evil person would derive pleasure from this situation. To be honest, I've known a couple people who have gone that far. I hated him for so many years, but that just made me sad.
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