is it possible to not like someone who is TOO good?

[bluefairy812]

I am a 28 year old professional who lives in Miami. I come from a latin background. I have my bachelor's degree and will be starting law school next year. I live on my own, work 9-6 Monday-Friday, and like to hang out at bars sometimes, do happy hours, travel, and go to music shows (all music like techno, electronic, blues, etc.) What I look for in a guy is someone who is fun, likes to travel as well, eat good food, and likes music. I also want someone who is stable and can take care of me and will love me. Not a lot to ask right?

 

I met someone who is 24 years old who grew up in a very small town (he is mature for his age) who doesn't work (just part time teaching music lessons twice a week) and lives with his parents. Doesn't really drink... and he grew up very conservative and christian. He plays in a band. Guy is talented. Super nice guy, however, I think we may be different in the sense that he likes to be very low key compared to me. He is a really good guy who is loyal, loves to be in love and is very close to his parents. I don't know his financial situation to be honest... doesn't have his bachelor's degree. His occupation is just playing at venues with the band.

 

We've only been talking for two weeks.

The question I have here doesn't have a simple answer, but I am wondering if it there is such thing as possible as not opening up to allow yourself to like someone because they are TOO good? I am already seeing the future into this which is me wanting to go get a drink at a happy hour and him not being into that type of scene.

 

All I've wanted is a nice guy. But I guess I am intimidated at the fact that he is too good and isn't into the same scene that I am into. Isn't it important that you and your partner do things together? Does it really matter though if I am going to get older and married one day? I don't know whether to keep going with this or not. I can already hear my dad saying, "this guy is in a band, how will he support you financially one day when you have a family?" Maybe I am over-thinking.

 

I got out of a relationship recently and just don't want to date anyone. I made it clear with him because I can see he really likes me and I don't want to lead him on. Maybe we can just get to know each other and see how it goes? I don't know. I've never just dated people. In the past I have jumped into relationships and I am avoiding that now.

Help. :(:(:(:(:(

[preraph]

Two people can be great people but just not be right for each other. I had one of those "perfect on paper" guys once. His only sin was not being a little crazy and not having too much to talk about. I always had to carry the conversation. I got bored. He married the next woman he dated and they probably have a perfect little family!

[TaraMaiden2]

Actually, there is a simple answer and the answer is, you're not compatible.

 

Sure there's fun to be had, but as matters stand, I don't see a long-term relationship here.

It's not a happening thing.

[Gary S]

Imagine this... if you both wrote down lists of things you liked to do, say at least 100 things, and you compared notes, do you think you could find things to do together? You betcha!

 

You are not looking for common interests. Rather, you are looking for mutual interests in each other. Who does not like walks on the beach?! Do ya smell what I'm cookin'?!

[bluefairy812]

He really likes me because he sees I am a good girl. I do have my values. He tried to kiss me and I denied him because I don't kiss on first dates.

 

My rule is to not kiss until I actually get to know the person... and he really admired that about me. Denying him because I demand respect.

 

I guess I just feel like a jerk and partly judgmental? there is really nothing wrong with him except that I am seeing very early on we are not compatible......

[TaraMaiden2]

There doesn't HAVE to be anything wrong with either person, to note incompatibility... Mother Teresa wasn't Compatible with The Dalai Lama either....