Duck and Cover Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Hi, I'm new to all these forums and stuff but I really don't no where else to turn, I'm 26 and about a month and a half ago I split up with my girlfriend (she was my first girlfriend and first love), this is my first heartbreak, so as you can imagine, this is REALLY tough for me, I spent a few weeks begging and pleading with her, which sadly didnt work I've now gone NC and I'm on day 13, its SO tough because I am MADLY in love with this girl, I love her more than anything in this world and I am constantly tempted to message her, even though I know that I wont get a reply, the urge just keeps coming and going I just really need to know that this is going to get easier, because at the moment, every day is a struggle (I dont know what I'm expecting by posting this, I just had to get it out somewhere, sorry)
ZiggyZoo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Oh, man. Hang in there, it will get better. You're right in the worst of the emotional muck right now, but it gets better. Just let yourself be upset, and take it one day at a time. I'm glad you came here, there's plenty of us who have been through heartbreaks ourselves, and lived to tell about it. We'll help you out.
SankeCoffee Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Firstly sorry your going through this, I know it sucks. But now you need to realize that it is over. She is gone, if she wanted to be with you yall would still be together. You need to remain in complete NC, any attempt to contact her makes you look weak and pathetic, women don't want a weak man. Going NC is the only way that you can move forward and allow yourself to heal. Look at it this way, its like you have a big cut on your body somewhere, going NC is like a scab forming and your body healing itself. Every time you break no contact you are ripping of that scab and exposing yourself to further hurt and delaying the healing process. At this point the relationship is dead, you should treat it like she died along with it, because she did. The girl you knew and loved is gone. I know this sounds harsh, but its something we all go through, it will make you a stronger person and you will be better prepared to succeed in your next relationship. Let her go, Let yourself heal, become a stronger version of yourself. Its very rare for someone to end up with there first love and first relationship forever. Also the gym will be your best friend right now.
highfidelity Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Hi man, so sorry for what happened to you. My ex of 1 year a half broke up with me two months ago and I did the same mistakes like all the dumpee did (pleading and begging) for two weeks after the BU, but yes it didn't work at all. She said she does needs me, but I'm not the one she wants in her life. It was so painful but I committed to stick to my NC after the last time I met her a month ago and things slowly get better now. I don't say I have completely over her, but I finally accepted the fact that our relationship was over. Just hang in there buddy. Stick to your NC and you will be okay I promise.
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 You just have to keep reminding yourself when you get the urge to pick up that phone and contact them that nothing good will come of it, and you'll only end up feeling more rejected and hurt. I'm on day 13 of NC as well. There are times when you want to let them know you still care, and other times when you want to tell them to f*** off. Neither will do YOU any good. Out of sight, out of mind does wonders. Your healing will increase tenfold with NC. It's the best post-BU advice I ever received. Post here when you feel like contacting them. It's what I do and then the feeling passes. Good luck.
coryreply Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Thanks for sharing your story, bro. Sorry you're going through this right now. Things will get better. Stay strong. Try and stay focused on your future. This relationship lives in your past. Let it stay there. Don't go back and relive those emotional moments. I agree with other posters, physical activity, working out, stuff like that really helps.
Thecondor1991 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Sorry to hear that man...The best thing to do, and I know it painful, but just ride that emotional wave, let yourself feel every bit of anger, pain, and sadness, and stay NC I promise it gets easier. It may not be today, tomorrow, next month, or next year, but it does get easier.
kasop Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Nc works! I felt alot better after the first month. But dont break it even if she tries to contact you!
Author Duck and Cover Posted June 6, 2015 Author Posted June 6, 2015 Thanks for the replies guys, this is really hard for me and I appreciate it. I love this girl with all my heart and soul, but all she does is ignore me now, I cry my eyes out everyday over her and its killing me inside, I just really want this horrible feeling to go away
Ariess10 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 My first real love when I was 16 lasted 4 years until she went away to college, I was her first everything so naturally she wanted to see what was out there.. I cried and begged her to stay, I went through hell for awhile thinking I would never find another . But time went on and I thought of her less and less ..then came a time when I was completely over her . I'm 32 now and just got out of a 3 year relationship , again I am heartbroken because I thought I was gonna marry this one and being 32 I was ready for the long haul. Well it didn't work out , so when I'm in the dumps I think back to that relationship 12 years ago and see that I made it out alive and I moved on with my life even tho I thought I wouldn't .. So my point is this you might go through 20 more girls before you find the right one, but you'll be ok. When time passes you'll look back and just smile and carry on with your life .. Trust me we all will be ok at some point
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