laylar90 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Hey all, Not sure where to start nor do I want to bore anyone lol! Okay, me and my ex partner were together for around a year and half and were due to get married this year (September time). We broke up January this year. Since our breakup I just havent been coping well at all, I just don't know what to do with myself or anything! During the time of our breakup I have tried socialising, meeting friends etc but no matter what I always think of him! I fear even going to areas we used to go to because I will just get too emotional! EVERYTIME I see other guys out and about I instantly think no1 is him... I feel no1 will ever be better than him...! We have had on and off conversations, once he messaged me saying he dreamt about me and his son is asking about me... where I am. After all the on and off talking, I suddenly didnt hear from him for like 5 days or so... his business phone and mobile both down... very strange... then after 5 days past... I receive a message... he was telling me how he needed time alone with his family as they are going through difficult times. I couldn't help myself but continuously sending loads of messages, I felt angry and confused... I felt like I was suddenly nothing to him... after getting my hopes up thinking we would be together again. Then recently I receive a message saying 'i'm getting married, please don't contact me again', now that's VERY out of character for him... I got angry sent him so many texts saying how he never loved me etc etc! Then he told me that a family member (very close to him) has an illness and could go at anytime. I just couldnt handle it, so decided to meet friends and smoke some cannabis (VERY out of character for me)... I wanted to just relax as I couldnt find a way round the news. Unfortunately for me, I ended up in hospital after a very very bad reaction to it! I honestly thought I was dying, I mean it's not to say I wouldnt have!!!... at that most terrifying time in life, I called him left him a voicemail and said i love him no matter what happens to me! Anyway trying to make this as short as possible... he ended up calling my friend and me... going crazy that I had drugs... basically he was showing a real caring side ... a side how I remember him as my partner ... my man! Anyway I was speaking with him on the phone the day after I got out the hospital(he called me) and he was saying to me that I have no idea, the choices are not his and he has been asked something of him... and he is in a difficult situation... I said well it's your choice etc ... he said really... really!!! (I think it's important to know that his parents are Asian - Pakistanis) Anyway it's hard to detail the exact conversation! he messaged me asking how I am etc! Okay the most recent is that I messaged him saying how it's not fair on me that one minute we are talking and next he could be married, then he said it's best we don't speak for now as it's hard for us both and he was looking at our pictures and it's difficult etc etc! I text him back saying...forever? he said I don't know! PLEASE ALL... HELP ME! I love him! I'm so stressed out I keep having panic attacks! I feel I will NEVER get over him! Has anyone been through such bad pain! Tell me,,, what can I do???????? Thank you for reading - I know it was long! L:(
Author laylar90 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 Oh and when he first told me about the marriage thing... he told me not to contact him... this was on whatsApp... I just dont get it... he said that I was sending 100s of messages and he did not block me or has not blocked me... so I think to myself... if you dont want me to contact you so bad,.. then why didnt you block me!
Author laylar90 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 Maybe it doesnt help because I work from home, have not been on holiday since 2011 (which was not really a holiday, it was visiting my dads home country). Should I take a holiday alone? will this help it or just temporary mask
Jamesdk Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I'm sorry you're in such pain. I can totally relate as I was dumped four days ago by a girl I was head over heels in love with. I have no good advice. Just know I'm here and totally sharing your excruciating pain
dyna85 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 stop communicating with him. cut off all communication. he is not helping matters and is stringing you along by giving you mixed messages, and further screwing with your emotions. this is the first step, critical to your healing. the fact that he said he's getting married and to stop contacting him speaks of his lack of consideration for your feelings. that is messed up and it's no wonder you're stuck in a torrent of anxiety. the best thing for you right now would be to stop accepting any and all communication from him as it's just going to keep setting you back and hurting you. this is the first step to feeling better. second, it's okay to freak out and feel like you can't deal. we've all been there. we're here to support you through this. you will be okay. just give it time. cry if you have to, talk it out with people close to you, take walks, basically just do whatever you can to comfort yourself, besides continuing to allow him to jerk you around repeatedly. 1
ZiggyZoo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 You need to go NC. The reason you're still as upset as you are is because you're still clinging on to whatever scraps of a relationship he throws at you. He is marrying someone else, and has been very clear about the fact that he doesn't want to hear from you anymore. The only thing for you to do is respect these wishes and leave him alone. The bottom line is, if he wanted to be with you, he would be. If someone really loves you, they stop at nothing to be with you. You can read whatever you want into the messages he's sent, but look at his actions. He's not making any moves to get back together, and that's all that concerns you. This is harsh, but sometimes harsh is necessary. This guy isn't your guy anymore, and you need to move on. 2
Author laylar90 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 Hey everyone... Thank you so much for all of your help! He text me on Friday asking how I am! Like talk about mess with my head! He has blocked me on WhatsApp... just don't get him! But you are all so right... I no it just takes time. I have 4 weeks off of work... any suggestions? I want to spend the 4 weeks trying to heal rather than to mask the pain... I don't wanna go back to work feeling the same. Any ideas people?
Author laylar90 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 I'm sorry you're in such pain. I can totally relate as I was dumped four days ago by a girl I was head over heels in love with. I have no good advice. Just know I'm here and totally sharing your excruciating pain I am so sorry to hear that! I am here for you aswell! Lets talk about how we help eachother...I guess one day we will wake up and look at the person who is worth having us and say well thank God it went wrong lol!
Author laylar90 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 You need to go NC. The reason you're still as upset as you are is because you're still clinging on to whatever scraps of a relationship he throws at you. He is marrying someone else, and has been very clear about the fact that he doesn't want to hear from you anymore. The only thing for you to do is respect these wishes and leave him alone. The bottom line is, if he wanted to be with you, he would be. If someone really loves you, they stop at nothing to be with you. You can read whatever you want into the messages he's sent, but look at his actions. He's not making any moves to get back together, and that's all that concerns you. This is harsh, but sometimes harsh is necessary. This guy isn't your guy anymore, and you need to move on. THANK YOU! I appreciate the harshness lol... you are making me realise the reality which hurts for now but if I keep living in a dream world then the pain will only get worse and worse. So thank you!!!!!!!!!
Author laylar90 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 stop communicating with him. cut off all communication. he is not helping matters and is stringing you along by giving you mixed messages, and further screwing with your emotions. this is the first step, critical to your healing. the fact that he said he's getting married and to stop contacting him speaks of his lack of consideration for your feelings. that is messed up and it's no wonder you're stuck in a torrent of anxiety. the best thing for you right now would be to stop accepting any and all communication from him as it's just going to keep setting you back and hurting you. this is the first step to feeling better. second, it's okay to freak out and feel like you can't deal. we've all been there. we're here to support you through this. you will be okay. just give it time. cry if you have to, talk it out with people close to you, take walks, basically just do whatever you can to comfort yourself, besides continuing to allow him to jerk you around repeatedly. THANK YOU SO MUCH! To be honest I couldnt agree more! I hope one day he will think s**t she actually hasnt messaged me and try to talk to me and the response he gets is from my new man lol
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