mongo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 i know this sounds stupid. i only did this once a few years ago, had a bad experience, and i swore id never do it again. i just moved to a new area, i dont know anybody here except some relatives. i have a hard time cold approaching random women, because im a tall big guy and they all seem to be scared to death of me in those situations. i go to work and come home and sit in front of a laptop all night. this is getting old. its driving me insane. i want to ask my cousin if he knows any single women but i dont want to look like i cant find my own. but the truth is i cant.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 You sound boring (no offense). You need to get out and do interesting things if you want to meet interesting people. Join some meetup groups, go out for happy hours, etc.
salmagundi Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 barcode sounds a little harsh but he (she?) is basically right. You can't sit around waiting to meet someone so that then you can start your life. You meet women through the things you do with your life. So like he says, go out and develop interests, get involved in organisations that interest you where you can meet people that are like you. Learn a dance, join a community organisation take a class whatever. As you develop yourself you will become more interesting to others and you will meet more people and..eventually…meet someone. None of this will happen sitting at home in front of your laptop.
yxalitis Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 That said...meeting your next partner through a natural (not forced) interaction with a group of friends is considered one of the best ways to form a lasting partnership. You come recommended. You are relaxed, in your comfort zone. You are yourself, without pretense. So, instead of asking outright for a possible blind date (disaster looms), instead be sociable, form new friends, with no other agenda than to widen your social network.
Mrin Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Barcode has been knocking down three pointers from half court left and right lately. ;-) He's most certainly dude. Note: totally checked my swing on using the golf analogy. While apropos, it would be vulgar. Do I get extra credit for using three sports analogies in a single post??? 1
Gary S Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Since you have so much time on your hands, get a part-time sales/clerk job in a woman's store. You'll get paid to talk to women. Before they leave, hand them your phone and ask them to put their number in. 2
Mrin Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Now that we have Barcode's gender settled... OP: He's right. You need to get out more and put yourself in a situation to meet people. Not just women but friends. But back to your original question - no, I don't think it is lame unless you make it lame. I think it is perfectly reasonable to say something like, "hey, online dating is such a crap shoot. I'd rather approach dating the old fashioned way and meet someone through a friend or acquaintance - like we used to. So you know any single women out there who are my type?" Nothing wrong with that and actually more people should do that rather than sitting hour after hour swiping and exchanging banal texts with complete strangers. 1
rocketman122 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 i know this sounds stupid. i only did this once a few years ago, had a bad experience, and i swore id never do it again. i just moved to a new area, i dont know anybody here except some relatives. i have a hard time cold approaching random women, because im a tall big guy and they all seem to be scared to death of me in those situations. i go to work and come home and sit in front of a laptop all night. this is getting old. its driving me insane. i want to ask my cousin if he knows any single women but i dont want to look like i cant find my own. but the truth is i cant. height being a disadvantage? how do you know theyre scared to death? sounds off. I think its something else.
Toodaloo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 height being a disadvantage? how do you know theyre scared to death? I used to date a chap that was 6ft7. He would tell me how people would run away from him. I used to tell him not to be so stupid. He used to lie about his height and tell people he was 6ft 4 and he would also stoop a hell of a lot... I have seen how people can react to very tall men... its not positive. I have seen an old lady bash my ex with her hand bag after he asked if she needed a hand carrying a load of heavy shopping to her car... I have seen random men walk up and try to start fights with him just because he was quietly sitting in the corner of a pub with me... Height is not the great be all that many men think it is... But back to topic. I agree. Get out and get a life. Take up a sport or go to the gym... Seriously you need to get out and get a life then think about getting a girl.
PogoStick Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) Mrin where you at 8800 ft, Leadville? That's like the base in Summit Co. I lived in Denver and it's very difficult to resist returning! OP. Networking is the best thing you can do. If you have a female cousin (male is fine too) then even better. It's way more bonus points than being a friend. I have a younger female cousin and she is an amazing wingwoman. Then we can get away with weird flirty stuff at the bar and her husband starts getting concerned. Oh so much fun! Then there is the French girl I had a crush on. Then her cousin Monique came to visit over Christmas, so I invited them both over for a movie and I didn't even care that she didn't wear deodorant...but I digress. Yeah, cousins get all the action. Edited June 4, 2015 by PogoStick
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 To answer your question specifically, no I don't think it's "lame." Are you more worried about the way you seek friends than actually seeking friends?
Lani Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 If you're really that tall then you must be in the top 10% so I don't know why you're having trouble? On a more serious note- It's fine to have your friends introduce you to singled they know. But it needs to be more organic, go out with your cousin and hang out with his friends, get to know them and make your own mind up while they do the same.
preraph Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Yes, always use your friends as resources to meet not only women but other men who could turn into friends. And I love the suggestion made by Gary to get a little part-time job that will put you in contact with women. This could be anything in retail as long as it isn't sports or male oriented, and even a server job at a restaurant. Also, search on Google "(your town) and meetups" and see what all there is. You might find something perfect for making new friends. And remember making friends is the key to meeting new women, because the more friends, the bigger your network for meeting people through them. Good luck! And stop worrying your height intimidates women. Women love height. Just make yourself keep an open and smiling expression on your face when approaching and don't look sinister or sneaky.
Cowboysnation Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I really don't want to date anyone who has a connection to one of my friends so I rather not.
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