Broken engagement over 1 on 1 lunch-coffee w/ male boss

[jen1447]

Nah. Where there's a will there's a way. And that goes both ways.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Would you say that it is impossible to end the emotional affair with her boss even if she realized an emotional affair was developing, and even if she tried ...because he sees her everyday and works only with her and no one else?

 

Dude, you're wasting mental energy playing the what if game. Face facts, your relationship is over. She just hasn't pulled the trigger yet.

[georgewoo]

You were all correct, i caught her cheating with her boss

Edited June 17, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed personal info

[jen1447]

You were all correct, i caught her cheating with her boss,

 

I'm not surprised. Cheating how, exactly?

Edited June 17, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed personal info

[ExpatInItaly]

My advice is the same as the previous thread you created about her and your relationship.

 

She's already checking out and looking at other options. It's time to let this one go. She doesn't want to be there anymore.

[Keenly]

She seems to lack the understanding of what relationship boundaries are.

 

 

She also doesn't seem to understand how you could.possibly be upset by the fact that your potential wife spends almost as much if not more time with another man than with her partner.

[Keenly]

You were all correct, i caught her cheating with her boss, Roel, today at Bijou restaurant.

 

Please give us just a little bit more. All I want to know is what did you catch her doing. Kissing?

 

 

This was a godsend to you. Imagine if this tramp tricked you into marrying her.

[pink_sugar]

I'm not surprised. Cheating how, exactly?

 

Probably caught them making out or something, I assume. This happened to one of my husband's friends who went to pick up his fiance and he caught her making out with another guy. Sorry to hear that, OP. Unfortunately, these sorts of behaviors are big red flags. At least you dodged a bullet here and now rather than years down the road and a couple kids later.

[MuscleCarFan]

You were all correct, i caught her cheating with her boss,

 

How am I not surprised....

Edited June 17, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed personal info

[applej4]

these sorts of behaviors are big red flags.

RED FLAGS? I'd say it was a DEAL BREAKER. Goodbye, have a nice life, SLAM!

[autumnnight]

1. She does not need to be going places one on one with her boss. I completely understand your feeling on this. And the 5 hour expensive dinner was out of line for sure

 

2. Regarding the bar exam argument and her accusation of you being critical....do you criticize her? Do you try to direct her life? If she is happy in her position and there is no pressing financial need, why would you be critical of her not taking the bar exam? Do you feel it is your right to tell her what to do?

[pink_sugar]

RED FLAGS? I'd say it was a DEAL BREAKER. Goodbye, have a nice life, SLAM!

 

When I mentioned big red flags, I was referring to his fiance hanging out with her boss for hours after work. Not the act of her actually cheating.

[jen1447]

I understand your frustration and wanting to out them but that's pretty bad form on a mega-public site like this.

[bluegreen]

Awww sweetie

HUGS x 10

[MuscleCarFan]

You should notify their employer of the inappropriate relationship.

[Radu]

Their employer is the government it seems.

 

OP, if you want to do this, look up shesahomewrecker or hesahomewrecker on google.

[Fugu]

I understand your frustration and wanting to out them but that's pretty bad form on a mega-public site like this.

 

So totally agree.

[Fugu]

You should notify their employer of the inappropriate relationship.

 

No, I think he should move on. Period.

 

First of all, we don't know the OP or anyone involved. We're hearing one side of the story. Not that I am doubting him, but I do NOT agree with cyber mobs or any of that crap. It frankly reveals a little something about his character.

 

If what the OP says is true, then I can understand his frustration and anger. But it's not like they were married with four children and he's trying to save his family. He's bent that his relationship ended - I get that. But it happens all the time. Granted, maybe things could have been done differently, but what's done is done.

 

Move on, OP.

[Chi townD]

Can someone give me a break down of what happened? The mods modified it so I don't have a clue of what's going on. He caught them cheating?

[ExpatInItaly]

Can someone give me a break down of what happened? The mods modified it so I don't have a clue of what's going on. He caught them cheating?

 

Yes, in a restaurant. Kissing and what not. But then he posted the name of the restaurant, both of their names and the company they work for.

[Chi townD]

Yes, in a restaurant. Kissing and what not. But then he posted the name of the restaurant, both of their names and the company they work for.

 

 

Ahh! Thank you for clearing that up! So, the OP is probably in Love Shack jail for a few days, so we probably won't get a follow up for a few.

[Fugu]

Ahh! Thank you for clearing that up! So, the OP is probably in Love Shack jail for a few days, so we probably won't get a follow up for a few.

 

If what he posted is true, I think anyone can relate to his frustration.

 

But no two ways about it - tossing real identities about on a website with this many hits is not the right way to handle things. For one thing, there just might be more than one person with the same name.

 

Imagine opening up your LinkedIn account and getting hounded by trolls and not knowing what the f*ck it's about. Imagine then having to explain to your boss who also might have received emails from similar trolls.

 

Note to all: not everyone who lurks on a website is mentally stable - you never know what they might be capable of doing at 1 a.m. under the influence of alcohol and sympathetic to someone else they see sharing their plight. The OP had absolutely no business doing what he did.

 

And regardless, as I said earlier, it's not like the OP and his ex were married with children. It pretty much seems like she just dumped up - albeit without the courtesy to let him know he was being dumped. If that happened, it's wrong and could have been handled better. Even so, there's no justification for naming names on a website. None. Nada. Bad move, dude, and it shows a lot about you.

[Chi townD]

I wouldn't bash on him too hard. He's probably hurting and feeling bad enough as it is. He's new and didn't understand the rules. And even if common sense tell you not to do it, he was probably so busted up, he reacted before thinking and I'm sure we're all guilty of that to some degree at some time in our lives!

[Fugu]

I wouldn't bash on him too hard. He's probably hurting and feeling bad enough as it is. He's new and didn't understand the rules. And even if common sense tell you not to do it, he was probably so busted up, he reacted before thinking and I'm sure we're all guilty of that to some degree at some time in our lives!

 

No, sorry, no pass.

 

I understand getting bitter and frustrated, but even so, you still have a responsibility to consider other people. Otherwise, you're going to pass off on all sorts of behavior in the name of temporary disgruntlement. People still are required to exercise some degree of self-control.

[Chi townD]

I'm not saying he's right. It was wrong and the mods cleaned it up. But, you're not him and you do know what you would do in a situation like that.

 

 

You NEVER had a knee jerk reaction?