OneBigIdgit Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 My story is lost in the jungle of pages of heartbroken and confused. My ex thought I didn't care about her so she broke up in mid-Jan. She found a new man about 3 days later from a web site. She went on a date, moved 300+ miles to be near him about a week later, engaged within 20 days, married about 80 days after meeting him. I didn't know about no contact but I was pretty much doing it until I saw her announce her engagement. I contacted her 2 days later to congratulate her. That was our first contact after the breakup about 25 days earlier. From the morning of texting to congratulate her, I went total no contact and made it to about 80-90 days. She contacted me a few days ago. I received a text from a number that I didn't know. I gave a 1 word reply. I received another text. I gave a 1 word reply. The 3rd text asked, What happened to us? That is when I realized who was texting me. We went on to text pretty much all day. We cleared the air on what happened and why much of it happened. I knew there was at least one person telling her mother that I'd never marry her. Since I didn't give her a quick marriage, her mother advised her that the person must be correct and that she needs to dump me. She did. Much to her moms surprise, she found a guy on a dating site, went 300+ miles to meet him for a date, moved into his area 10 days later, got engaged within 25 days, and married about 80 days after meeting him. Through the texting, she told me that she loves me, finds it tough to be married to him when all she can think about is here. Doesn't feel comfortable there, doesn't really like her husband. She said she might have been a little hasty in breaking up. She asked what my family would think if we got back together. That was all said the 1st day we texted. The 2nd day we texted, she talked much about coming back. She told me that she felt like she had died when she unfriended me on facebook and that she loves me and doesn't care for him nor feels comfortable. The 3rd day she changed her mind and while all she said is true, she said she can't walk out on the new family that she is married into. She said she has already hurt mine and hers by doing this, and if she divorces him it will add a 3rd family to the walking wounded. She then told me that she is never going to contact me again because it hurts too much. She has been solid in not contacting me......however, She texted both of my kids a week later explaining that she is sorry that it didn't work out between us. She said she can't explain nor understand how it happened. She is a very unhappy, confused person. Stick to no contact,,,,,,,,,it can get real interesting
Satu Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 She is a very unhappy, confused person. Stick to no contact,,,,,,,,,it can get real interesting You're right about that, she's all over the place mentally/emotionally. Chaos. *No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Would you be angry with me if I said it sounded like you dodged a bullet there? Sounds like this woman really wants to be married, and if she doesn't get what she wants, she just runs off to the next person who will satisfy her needs without thinking of the consequences. I wouldn't even respond to her if she contacts you again. Seriously, all that within 80 days? Crazy.
Author OneBigIdgit Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 No, you would be spouting true wisdom. I still care about her. I hope she finds peace and a stable life down the road. I doubt it will be with this person. She told me that she doesn't want to bring pain to this new family, and also she gave an oath to God, til death do us part. Uh, this is her 4th marriage so that oath thing didn't keep her in at least 3 marriages. She is batting 1000 in being the dumper in all previous marriages. You are very correct in that I dodged a bullet and probably at least a few years of way too much drama. But damn she was purty!!!!!!!!!!! lol
aloneinaz Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Sounds as though she found the perfect mate! Who on earth would marry someone after how many days? OMG! He sounds like he has as much baggage as she does. To say you dodged a bullet would be an understatement. It also sounds as if she was checking her options if she suddenly left her how many days new hubby and had you to fall back on. Um yea, clearly this is a gal you don't ever need to speak with again. I'm glad to hear you realized your mistake in having contact with her again. 1
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Well, that explains it. I have a friend who is on her fourth marriage now, only in her mid-thirties. She's also one of the most indecisive people I've ever met in my entire life. She trades in her car for a different one every year or two, and can't get a haircut without going back to the salon at least twice after to "get it just right". Lol I also have a friend who married a guy 3 months after meeting him, and they're already miserable together. He's controlling, doesn't let her go anywhere because he doesn't trust her and she told me she's miserable most of the time, but she's working on the marriage because she feels "obligated to". Here I am - 28 and never married with no kids - wondering if there's something wrong with me. At least we aren't in these peoples' positions. I just feel like marriage is a huge commitment. I can't imagine rushing it like that. JMO.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Well, that explains it. I have a friend who is on her fourth marriage now, only in her mid-thirties. She's also one of the most indecisive people I've ever met in my entire life. She trades in her car for a different one every year or two, and can't get a haircut without going back to the salon at least twice after to "get it just right". Lol I also have a friend who married a guy 3 months after meeting him, and they're already miserable together. He's controlling, doesn't let her go anywhere because he doesn't trust her and she told me she's miserable most of the time, but she's working on the marriage because she feels "obligated to". Here I am - 28 and never married with no kids - wondering if there's something wrong with me. At least we aren't in these peoples' positions. I just feel like marriage is a huge commitment. I can't imagine rushing it like that. JMO. Yeah, you're way ahead of your two friends. As for the OP, he didn't dodge a bullet. He dodged a nuclear missile. 1
foolinlove79 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 That is one horrible story. I have never understood how people jump around from one rs to the next so fast. You need time to get over them if you really cared. My ex just cant be on his own. Its not a question of love. Anyone will do. You are so lucky you didnt marry her or waste anymore time on her. She's obviously
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