Lizrd3000 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Which of the 2 scenario's is it? Dumpee get dumped > NC for months > finds a new partner > feels better and got over his/her ex or Dumpee got dumped > NC for months > Feels better and got over his/her ex > Finds a new partner? I really don't think I can find a new partner unless I'm 100% myself again, and feeling good. Or does it differ from each person?
oz-missy Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Everyone is different. What works for me more than likely will not work for you. Look at your own situation and don't listen to anyone for their advice. The only person you should listen to is you.
Stercrazy Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Well.......in the second scenario the person is stronger because they got over their ex and emotionally stable. The first scenario different variables come into play....rebounds, emotional issues that might carry over....ect.
aloneinaz Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 When you miss the companionship of the opposite sex and are tired of being alone and lonely, you're ready to date again. How long that takes is case by case and individual as mentioned before. I've said it many times on LS. Most people who are dating are still getting over their ex. I personally am a believer that you can't completely get over your last love until you find your new love. I will never agree that you should spend months and months home alone, crying over the failure of your last relationship. I think it simply keeps you stuck. YES, you should spend some time after a break up to heal, learn from it and get your head right. My last ex-GF I really loved. Really loved. She ended it the final time and I said enough. I grieved for 4 weeks, got pissed and then starting dating 6 weeks post break up. NO way was I over my ex, but.. I knew that relationship was dead. I casually dated for a few months and it was instrumental in helping me get back to feeling normal. A few months after we broke up, I met my now 20 month GF who lives with me. Was I over my ex when we met? No, nor was she completely over her ex. As the months started to stack up, we fell in love and our exes were but a distant memory. This is usually what has happened with me and others. Your next relationship helps put final closure on the one before it. 1
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 It varies. I feel I'm ready to date again. I'm already leagues ahead of where I thought I'd be in terms of getting over this breakup. I have had a lot of time to engage in some deep thoughts and soul searching and realized I, much like a dumper, had sort of moved on from my ex a long time ago because he was no longer fulfilling my needs. I just didn't have the courage to end the relationship like he did. I was also alone for 4.5 years before him, so I know I am comfortable being alone and not reaching out for someone in desperation. If you're only moving onto someone to get over someone else, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. You have to also know that you're okay with being alone. Be choosy. Don't just fall into the arms of the next person you meet who seems dateable. One of my girlfriends is currently grieving TWO breakups because she jumped right into her next relationship after her previous breakup, and the rebound dumped her. She said she wishes she had waited longer in between.
Thecondor1991 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Yeah, everyone is different. My brother is the type of person that can have a serious break up and two or three months later is 100% over her and with someone else. I on the other hand am not the same way.
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