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Had Complete and Utter Breakdown Today. Suggestions?

loveweary11

By loveweary11
in Business and Professional Relationships

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

Posted
Posted

I lost it today and I really need input.

 

Complete mental breakdown.

 

I had tried to keep my business in NY running at a slow pace for June so I could finish my Florida project.

 

I had a single contractor working and a single employee in FL. Things were very difficult, but I was managing. The FL stuff has to be done by me and a helper now. Final stage of the project.

 

So all of a sudden, 3 more contractors in NY beg and beg to work. If I don't accept them, I lose them to competitors.

 

I took them on. A 300% increase in business.

 

Figured I'd hire an assistant to handle my side of those NY contractors.

 

The assistant was late 3 days in a row and was destroying my business, so I had to let her go.

 

Then I tried bringing on another person here in FL so I could manage NY.

 

Guided them all day today and they destroyed $400 in materials and set us back 2 days on this tight schedule to finish.

 

I lost it. Broke down. Lost my temper. Yelled at them and sent them home.

 

I can't find help. I can't handle NY and FL at the same time. I could fiire everyone and just do everything myself, but i don't want to screw over people in NY who flew out to work there.

 

I need 3-4 weeks o work on my FL stuff without NY, but I don't want to destroy my relationships with these contractors and feel just horrible letting them down.

 

 

Soooo many people are depending oin me. I've lost my mind.. I literally broke down in tears after i sent the FL workers home.

 

Im at my wit's end.

 

Any ideas?

Downtown Established Member

Downtown

Posted
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I lost it today and I really need input. Complete mental breakdown... I literally broke down in tears after i sent the FL workers home.

LW, it sounds more like you wore yourself out and got exasperated at the lack of support from your FL employees. They let you down, big time. Yet, this is pretty small stuff, by your past standards of risk-taking behavior. I'm thinking of your first free-climbing effort on a 400 foot cliff with Dean.

 

In this case, you took a calculated risk which now requires you to lose some money, which is best viewed as an investment in establishing a working relationship on new projects with three new contractors. Such an investment may well be far cheaper than having to later rely on untrained workers you would have to train and hand-hold all through the projects. Somehow, I suspect you will eventually turn this set-back to your advantage.

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Brigit Established Member

Brigit

Posted
Posted
I lost it today and I really need input.

 

Complete mental breakdown.

 

I had tried to keep my business in NY running at a slow pace for June so I could finish my Florida project.

 

I had a single contractor working and a single employee in FL. Things were very difficult, but I was managing. The FL stuff has to be done by me and a helper now. Final stage of the project.

 

So all of a sudden, 3 more contractors in NY beg and beg to work. If I don't accept them, I lose them to competitors.

 

I took them on. A 300% increase in business.

 

Figured I'd hire an assistant to handle my side of those NY contractors.

 

The assistant was late 3 days in a row and was destroying my business, so I had to let her go.

 

Then I tried bringing on another person here in FL so I could manage NY.

 

Guided them all day today and they destroyed $400 in materials and set us back 2 days on this tight schedule to finish.

 

I lost it. Broke down. Lost my temper. Yelled at them and sent them home.

 

I can't find help. I can't handle NY and FL at the same time. I could fiire everyone and just do everything myself, but i don't want to screw over people in NY who flew out to work there.

 

I need 3-4 weeks o work on my FL stuff without NY, but I don't want to destroy my relationships with these contractors and feel just horrible letting them down.

 

 

Soooo many people are depending oin me. I've lost my mind.. I literally broke down in tears after i sent the FL workers home.

 

Im at my wit's end.

 

Any ideas?

 

It sounds like you have your own construction company and you're taking on too many projects. Reduce your workload and save your sanity.

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LuckyLady13 Established Member

LuckyLady13

Posted
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Loveweary11, you said they destroyed 400 bucks in materials on you. Not cool but I can't get out of my head how you took on more than you were used to.

 

This sounds like just a growing pain and a half for you. And you flipped out. Okay, so, time to regroup.

 

You're going to have to get past how you feel right now, immediately. You don't want to "destroy" your relationship with these contractors. You've got one choice here. Bite the bullet, apologize if you have to, get back to work and redeem yourself but not flipping out again in the future. Last thing you want is a bad rep because you keep flipping out so just don't do it again.

 

You really have to pick up the pieces here and get moving. Sure, you've obligated yourself to some jobs and you want to succeed and get this all done. I understand 400 bucks in materials is hard to handle (I just dealt with this TODAY and had my own...holding my forehead, freaking out situation) and it's so hard when it's out of your hands and people are blowing your money. I know! I wish I didn't right now...

 

Swallow your pride and do what you have to in order to fulfill these contracts and just learn from this situation. It's hard to take on a bunch of extra people and they are going to do things that almost give you a heart attack. The growing pain will hurt initially but before you know it, you'll be growing again and get the pain again!

 

You've going to have to learn how to deal with this if you want to continue to grow. You'll figure it out! I have no doubt there. Before you know it, this is going to be in your distant past so try not to stress out about it. If you keep your cool from now on and learn how to tackle these situations, people will forget after a while.

 

...I know how you feel. Keep your chin up.

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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It sounds like you have your own construction company and you're taking on too many projects. Reduce your workload and save your sanity.

 

I don't. I have a business in NY that's not construction related and I'm finishing up a 3-4 year boat build in FL. One i got divorced in the middle of.

Brigit Established Member

Brigit

Posted
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I don't. I have a business in NY that's not construction related and I'm finishing up a 3-4 year boat build in FL. One i got divorced in the middle of.

 

I see. Do you meditate?

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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Thanks so much for the thoughtful replies and advice... Thinking back to my first experience in high school with Dean is giving me an anxiety attack! :lmao:

 

So here's the thing...

 

I need to get out of this socially and geographically isolated place in FL where the boat buikd is. I am trying to wrap up by the last week of June.

 

If i work on my NY business, it's 14 hours a day. Normal schedule, 5 days a week. I got employees at the boat because I wanted to focus on the ny business, bringing money in.

 

That worked when it was rough, non finish work. Now, it's the final few weeks and literally nobody can do the boat work except me.

 

Someone could do the NY work if trained, but, it takes a week to train them.

 

I'm just overloaded, I guess, but my choices are bleak.

 

I can dump the other NY people and keep one, angering them and being callous.... or... um... I have literally no options. :(

 

I'm not growing businesses here. I don't do corporate anymore. I have a well established small businesses in ny that is stagnant, growth wise and I'm good with that. I am basically running 2 businesses at once. Everyone needs me at their particular business, but I can't do both. Nor can I say no to people. I feel bad.

 

Should have just said no to the extra ny workers in hindsight.

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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I see. Do you meditate?

 

My life is *not* in that sort of balance right now. I work 14+ hours 7 days a week right now trying to get this done.

 

I can meditate all day long once this thing is in the water.

 

This is a crunch time.

SycamoreCircle Established Member

SycamoreCircle

Posted
Posted

Hire me to be your Doobie Brother. I will guide you through a series of stress relieving techniques. Live life in a constant tickle. Right now reading a great book, Goodbye, Mr. Chips. The weather is great up here.

 

stoned-smiley.gif

LuckyLady13 Established Member

LuckyLady13

Posted
Posted
I'm not growing businesses here. I don't do corporate anymore. I have a well established small businesses in ny that is stagnant, growth wise and I'm good with that.

 

Should have just said no to the extra ny workers in hindsight.

 

You said it! :D

  • Like 1
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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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The weather is great up here.

 

stoned-smiley.gif

 

This I don't need to hear. :lmao:

 

The whole reason I'm rushing is to get the F out of FL and enjoy a summer up there.

 

Doobie brother sounds about right though. Does that count as meditation? It certainly slows my stress way down. :cool:

Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted
My life is *not* in that sort of balance right now. I work 14+ hours 7 days a week right now trying to get this done.

 

I can meditate all day long once this thing is in the water.

 

This is a crunch time.

 

No time to meditate?

 

Do this instead, twice a day:

 

1. Sit down, close your eyes, and let your awareness scan over you body, just noticing the sensations/how you feel.

 

2. Just sit with the feeling for one minute.

 

3.Tell yourself it's ok to feel that way. Feel love for yourself feeling those feelings.

 

Slowly open your eyes.

 

This takes 2-3 minutes, and will help you to feel more centred and grounded.

 

Take care.

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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I will definitely try this. I can see how this would be a great way to get back to a grounded state.

 

Thank you for all you do here. :love:

 

 

 

No time to meditate?

 

Do this instead, twice a day:

 

1. Sit down, close your eyes, and let your awareness scan over you body, just noticing the sensations/how you feel.

 

2. Just sit with the feeling for one minute.

 

3.Tell yourself it's ok to feel that way. Feel love for yourself feeling those feelings.

 

Slowly open your eyes.

 

This takes 2-3 minutes, and will help you to feel more centred and grounded.

 

Take care.

Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
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I will definitely try this. I can see how this would be a great way to get back to a grounded state.

 

Thank you for all you do here. :love:

 

Thank you for the same :)

 

Be Well.

Brigit Established Member

Brigit

Posted
Posted
My life is *not* in that sort of balance right now. I work 14+ hours 7 days a week right now trying to get this done.

 

I can meditate all day long once this thing is in the water.

 

This is a crunch time.

 

Then have a glass a wine and listen to some calming music.

  • Like 1
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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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Then have a glass a wine and listen to some calming music.

 

Waaay ahead of you on that one. ;):)

 

Thank you for the suggestions as well. I'll be taking tomorrow off the boat to think//regroup.

  • Like 1
bluegreen Established Member

bluegreen

Posted
Posted
Then have a glass a wine and listen to some calming music.

 

Waaay ahead of you on that one. ;):)

 

Thank you for the suggestions as well. I'll be taking tomorrow off the boat to think//regroup.

 

 

U discovered

U R just human and not Superman

have flaws can't control nothing but yourself and your reactions.

Loosing money socks but imagine it paying 150 an hour for therapy is it worth it?

As for rest hugs go long way sending U one

Just got off work and boss was bitch simply cause she could so I get How it feels

  • Like 2
kenmore Established Member

kenmore

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Obviously none of us know your business well enough to guide you too much but if what needs to be done in Fla now can only be done by you, then that's the simple answer. If what needs to be done in NY also

 

requires you, then there's another answer, you can't do both.

 

It sounds to me like your best bet is getting a new assistant in NY (or hiring the late one back but telling her no more of that BS), but these things have a way of working out (meaning the NY clients will have a bad taste

 

in their mouths and take their business elsewhere which sucks, but it happens.)

 

You overextended yourself without enough "plan B's." In the future, consider plan B much more as in training people and hiring them occasionally to help, and hopefully being able to count on them in a pinch.

 

I had a near meltdown today too, potentially losing a client I have worked hard to court, so I feel for you. That was first thing this morning and I kept my cool all day, went around with a stupid sh*t-eating smile on my face and now I'm sitting here fuming about what happened. It's nobody's fault really except the company I work for. I still don't know how it will end, but as has been said here, your sanity is more important as is mine. Enjoy your

drink (and I'll go get one now) and tomorrow it will feel better. Like me, you allowed yourself your transgression, keep it cool in the future.

 

My best to you friend!

 

Ken

  • Like 3
preraph Established Member

preraph

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Needless to say you need someone who can manage in NY when you're not there. Is there anyone you know of in whatever business you're in there who retired but might want a good paying temporary project?

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Firefighting is hard. I don't know how hard it is to predict your business but do you think you could invest in a couple of people in both locations so that they have the skills already when you need them?

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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Posted (edited)

Peraph and Emilia: This is literary the core issue.

 

I have such a specialized role in both places, it is impossible to even find quality help who can even assist me, nevermind managing either.

 

The NY business is established and is a $$ maker. Step on the gas pedal, it makes money.

 

It does so well because I'm pretty much a top performer in my industry. And... it takes my attention for it to go properly. Extremely difficult to train anyone. Who I am is why it works.

 

The update is this:

 

 

I spun some of my NY people out independently, giving them access to all the resources of my business under a different revenue share agreement where they make more without my involvement.

 

I kept my best performer on at standard revenue share. So... I have only a single person to interact with and the business activity level that comes along with it, reducing work volume by 75% for me, while only reducing my revenue stream by 40%.

 

Yesterday, my guys in FL:

 

Miscut $600 in Lexan sheets

Wrote in permanent marker on the white, perfect surface of a finished instrument panel

Cut an aluminum support too short

Took too much off an engine mount making it wobble

got epoxy in literally 10 places on the finished paint

broke a permanently affixed window slide track

epoxied together the hardware for a deck hatch (the pile of hardware was then epoxied to the finished paint job)

incorrectly sealed off the core in a dozen places.

 

Found the perfect solution....

 

Fire everyone!!!

 

And that's what I did. I'm finishing the stuff here in FL myself with just one worker on in NY.

Edited by loveweary11
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Haydn Established Member

Haydn

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You need to hire someone from `dragons den`

 

preraph Established Member

preraph

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God, what a mess! What kind of moron would write on an expensive part?

 

Hope your new NY arrangement works better for you and gives you the time to do all the boat yourself. You must be in industries where good help is awfully hard to find.

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kenmore Established Member

kenmore

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If you have not already, read the E-myth. "E" is about entrepreneurship and it states that in order to run a successful franchise (in other words you are not there to run it), you need strict guidelines and enough manuals as well as people who locally enforce those rules so you don't need to be there.

 

While I applaud your work ethic and abilities, what you have set up is a bomb waiting to explode, and how do you retire or get a vacation?

 

After these jobs, before you take on more, I suggest taking some time (or hire it out) writing such a manual. One you give to every person who ever works for you from a manager down to the janitor, which spells out how to do their tasks, who's responsible and how it should be done. Start figuring out how to make it so you don't have to do everything yourself, because you can't forever!

 

More luck Bud!

 

Ken

kenmore Established Member

kenmore

Posted
Posted

Depending on the surface (painted is notoriously difficult), permanent marker can often be removed with rubbing alcohol. Get the 91% stuff! Just be careful it doesn't remove the paint.

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