Unrepairableheart Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 My long term girlfriend of nearly 3 years has left me for somebody else We have been living together for a long time, one year we lived together in a rented flat, the. Decided we wanted to save for a mortgage and thanks to her brilliant family we moved into her family home for the past 18months. We had been saving hard for so long I think we forgot what relationships was supposed to be like but I always thought we was so solid and always made each other laugh and was there for each other through tough times, I supported her in giving her the confidence to learn to ride a motorcycle and drive a car because going to work on the bus was dangerous at night, I helped her get a new job and she was there for me when I lost my job. After so long of saving we was finally getting really close to getting our target deposit money ready, but this past 2 months have turned into a complete hell for me, I was happy at work thinking everything was ok when I got a message off my girlfriend saying she couldn't take the guilt anymore that she had kissed someone else (more to follow further down) of course I was hurt and upset, I didn't think she could do this and I have always been completely faithful, her story was it was at work in the canteen someone was upset she knew after a family member had died and they hugged them kissed. I went and stayed at a family members for a couple nights to gather my thoughts and eventually decided that I couldn't throw all what we have had away over a kiss and she did seem very devastated about it so I forgave her and promised to not hold a grudge and just move on. We was fine for about a week, more than fine In fact, I think we both had a scare of what we could of lost and was all over each other I was very happy, when I got a text message off one of her lad friends explaining that she is lieing and needs to tell me the truth. As soon as she knew this person text me, before me even saying what he said, she completely lost it and fell apart crying, eventually I got it out of her that she had slept with this guy it wasn't just a kiss, my whole world just fell apart. After about an hour of explaining to her how deviated I was and that she has forced me to leave, so I packed my bags and moved back home and I just ignored her for a week while I had to carry on life going to work as if I was fine, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It turns out the guy she slept with was married and has a little girl of 2, and it wasn't just once in a hotel that she claimed, it was multiple times in a hotel and once in our bed when everyone was out I was absolutely heartbroken, how can I go along everyday thinking everything is so great between us picturing our future and all this is going on without me Even knowing. Then one week later after constant messages off her and her sister pleading with me to talk to her, on the Saturday night she is messaging me saying she is drunk in the car and is going to do something stupid unless I go see her, what on earth do I do? This is the person I love and care for so much but I am so angry and hurt, so I go and see her and all the love I have for her just surfaced when I saw her crying and trying to hold me and the love was out balancing the anger, I was trying so hard to just make sure she was ok and then just leave but I ended up staying the night with her, and then went away for the week with her the next day (we had a week away already booked for this day, long before I found out) I needed to know how I would feel with her and if I could forgive and forget. It was such a horrible break, we had a really good time but I kept getting moments where I would look at her and my heart would sink knowing what she had done, it was very hard but I put on a brave face trying to fight for us and she was fighting for me too, by the end of the week we had convinced me that she regretted it and couldn't lose me and what we had planned. When we got back home it was payday and we finally had our deposit money, she was pushing and pushing me to go to the bank she was so excited and I was excited too, maybe this is a fresh start a new focus and all this has happened because we haven't had our proper relationship for a longh time while living at her parents and just saving up, that's what I thought, so we went. After getting the go ahead to go and look at house we was both very happy, her more than me, she was so excited for us and our future, and after a few house visits we found the perfect house, it was amazing and we bidded on it and It got accepted, we was about to buy our first house and all our hard work, all of our long conversations in bed about our furure and the excitement of finally buying a house was here we had done it. I have never seen her this happy and excited in a long time I was genuinely happy and was ready to move on and start a fresh when my world dropped apart again... The day after the offer being accepted she was supposed to be going to take her mum to go view the house but she was late back from work and late for the viewing, straight away my heart starts beating and I'm getting that feeling, but I ignore it, but now her mood has completely changed, she is really quite and every time I try to talk about the house she isn't interested, that night I lie in bed really confused and decide the next day I'm going to talk to her see what's up but, when I wake up I wake up to a text message saying, we are doing the wrong thing we are rushing into things I don't want to do it anymore, WHAT ? How do I process this? What ? After everything she is hurting me again and breaking up with me. I end up moving out about an hour later, it was horrible because by that time her and her sister have come over with her niece so I can't make a scence, I just pack my bags and leave quietly, it turns out she was late because she was with him again, and after being back home for a few hours and her blocking me on everything without me getting any answers, I find out from his wife that they are together and that he has left her and that now my girlfriend is now his girlfriend and they are making a go of it????? How can she do all this to me? Why didn't she just leave me months ago if she wanted someone else? Why didn't she just leave when she first cheated? Why did she beg me back and then leave me? It turns out she has had secret facebooks to talk on, and on the day we got back from our break and they day after seeing the bank about the mortgage she and him got cheap phones to text each other on. And now In the space of a week I've gone from having almost everything to absolutely nothing, and she had blocked me on everything and has a new boyfriend, how can anybody with a heart do this to someone else
FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Wow. **** her hermano. **** HER! Not worth it. You deserve better. -F 1
Latino4Lyfe Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Agreed, especially since it's twice now that she has done this. Just take your stuff, rebuild your life without her and do not look back. One day she may eventually reach out for something once everything with whoever she is with now does not turn out well, and if/when that happens, pay no attention. Keep moving forward.
Plaster Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Mate I feel for you. Sorry to hear that. Stay strong and cut her out of your life completely dude. We are all here for you 1
yxalitis Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Looks like she only reconnected with you for a cut of the money...ouch, that hurts.
Lizrd3000 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 She's scum. I feel you man, you're not alone in this. Don't bother with the why's, you won't find out why. Just remember that she's scum, and you should be thankful to the guy that she cheated with on you. Sorry for your pain man, but you'll make it through.. Doesn't take away the hurt, I'm sorry.
Fleur de cactus Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 It hurts, it hurts so bad, But I want to let you know that you are lucky it is done with her. Dont look back. SHe is a bad person, you deserve a loving woman and not a cheater. Live a good life, build a better future and one day she will look at you and envy you. Karma will get her.
ZiggyZoo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Oh, I'm sorry you're going through this. Heartbreak is bad enough without the cheating thrown in too. We're here for you, keep posting on this site, ok? You'll get through this, it'll be tough, but you're not alone. I've made it through something similar, and will help any way I can.
aloneinaz Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 It's sad but this happens in relationships all too often. Is she young? This sounds like someone in their 20's? You're clearly not alone with someone cheating then leaving for them. Read on this board and you'll see how common it really is. You'll never know why she did this, you and us could only speculate as to why. The good news is she pulled this before you got moved into the house and got everything settled. While it's good of you to forgive her after lying to you about how many times she slept with this other guy, to include in your bed, many would of kicked her to the curb as soon as they found out about the affair. They don't usually just forget about the other person and go happily back to the relationship. When people cheat, it's usually because they have lost interest in their current partner and are looking for something else as well. What you should do is worry about you now. What's best for you and how can you get over this and move on with your life. If you've moved out and your financial matters are resolved, there should be no further reason for contact. You should flat vanish from her life so you can work on you and your healing. You need to heal and get over this so if the chance that this "fling" fizzles and she suddenly reappears on your door, you can tell her to bugger off.
lauri Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Not surprised man. You should have kicked her to the curb right away. You provided her a safety net while she was sleeping with another guy! Thank god you didn't buy a house yet, that would have caused lots of issues. You cannot expect your ex to respect you if you dont respect yourself. You clearly didn't by letting her get away with murder. So, let me tell you this. Your ex isn't a unicorn. She's actually someone with horrible judgment, she is selfish and she is not loyal. This is not someone you want to marry, have children with and date anymore. Any girl who sleeps with a married man and a kid has bad judgment. Any girl who ruins a family and cheats on her boyfriend is selfish. Any girl who allows herself to develop feelings for someone else is not loyal. This isn't someone you would want to start a family with. Trust me bro - best thing to ever happen to you is her to cheat on you and end it. Just promise me you wont take her back once she comes back, because she will, you'll see. When she does, dont say a word to her. Do not give her the satisfaction that she is "special" enough for you to even respond. One day you will realize all of this and you will be relieved its over. 2
DexterLS Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 My girlfriend of 6/7 years cheated on me with another guy who she is with right now. I know how it feels. The only thing you can do is block her out everywhere. You don't need that kind of person in your life. It will hurt like hell. I will not lie to you. There are going to be some bad days going forward but if you stick with No Contact, you will move on more quickly. All the best, mate.
ManyDissapoint Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 No matter what happy memories you have, what image you have of her, her actions have proved that she is garbage. Throw garbage out of your life and never think about it again.
anotheroneguy Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I agree with every post above and it's what you should do ! however, I know that you can be the strongest man ever and have a lot of pride, love can put you on your knees and make you act differently, that the strenght of love and why we can suffer as much. One things that helps me is really knowing what I want, of course I want my ex back as a lot of people here. But she is making me suffer, she chosed all the others guys over me and chosed to lose me forever. I would love that she cames back but how? There are thousands things that I want her to tell me to come back and I really imagine each possibilities. Why? Because I need to know what I want, as she knew that she wanted something (someone?) else than me and because it is important to know what you want in life to know if it is possible or not. why does it help? Because each days which pass I realise she doesn't do it, she still away doing whatever she wants which is not me ! Why does it help ? because she is doing day after day things that makes things so much harder to rebuild and forget. You need to rebuild yourself because what YOU want and knowing that even if she comes back (which probably won't happen) it would be for the reasons YOU want and because she is different. Indeed now she is an awfull person there is no other word. So you will need to know what she is really and have enough respect for yourself to know if you're really able to forgive everything and start something new. The answer will be no... So when you will do everything of that, even if you still love her you will realise that you have to let her go, and then want something different : take her out of your head and your heart and then want something (someone ?) different. If I say everything of that it's because, yes you should take all your pride and delet her from your life, your head, your heart but when you love someone it is not easy.
Author Unrepairableheart Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 She is almost 22 and I am 25 It's been 12 days since we split and I am having good and bad days, after being with someone for a while everything reminds you of her/him It is just annoying me that when I left her after finding out she cheated on me I was fine, I was angry but fine, it made it easier to move on as I was angry, I just wish I never went back to see her as now instead of feeling angry I feel sad, I know that it will pass and I know that I'm better off without her and that I have been lucky to find out this now and not later The only good thing is that as she cheated and has gone straight into a relationship I don't have to sit here dreading the moment I find out she has a new boyfriend. I sort of want her to message me just so I can ignore her, that way I will feel like I have the power back in some way
Radu Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 OP, to do this kind of thing she must seriously be a messed up person. She is medicating right now with the other relationship but that won't last ... eventually she will confront what she did. The most important thing right now is ... did you get your share of the money ?
mystikmind2005 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I got tears in my eyes reading your story.... Tears for both of you, because you must know she is messed up, its all so sad.
Author Unrepairableheart Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 OP, to do this kind of thing she must seriously be a messed up person. She is medicating right now with the other relationship but that won't last ... eventually she will confront what she did. The most important thing right now is ... did you get your share of the money ? Yes I sorted the money out straight away, and I agree with the medicating theory, I hope she can live with herself if it all goes bump because I know I would struggle with that sort of regret
Author Unrepairableheart Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 I got tears in my eyes reading your story.... Tears for both of you, because you must know she is messed up, its all so sad. About a month ago when she was really down I got her into the doctors and they diagnosed her with depression, I supported her through this not knowing that by this time she was already cheating on me and that probably is why she was so down, but she stopped taking the tablets which I thought was really selfish because it effected both of us Personally I have always thought she might have something similar to bipolar but I'm not a doctor
coryreply Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I'm sorry, bro. It's better that you saw her true colors now than later down the road. Hang in there.
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