mortensorchid Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 A long time friend of mine has been saying to me that I need to do this, as it will help my luck with guys in general. No woman friend I have ever had has suggested this EVER as far as I know. And that is this: in order to attract and keep a man, I need to show more skin. And now it's summer so it's tank top season, not the dead of winter. Because as we all know, neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor dark of night will stop the hootchie mama from showing her stuff to others. How do I feel about this? I have mixed emotions... 1) I have dressed sexy in the past, mostly at costume parties and Halloween and the like, because it's considered a costume. And like the movie Mean Girls said, it's the one day of the year that women are allowed to dress like sluts and not have it reflect badly on them. And yes, I have noticed that I am treated differently by people in general. Do I like the attention? Well, somewhat, as it purpose is to have fun or a good time. If I am there to get picked up? Well ... I don't know. 2) Gals who dress sexy to begin with - I have seen a lot of girls out there who are in relationships with certain guys and they think nothing of dressing like complete whores. I'm sure you have seen a few of them. One gal who I was childhood friends with changed overnight. She was trying to keep this man she eventually married (and divorced) and she went from a fairly strait laced, button downed preppy dresser to that of a hooker in thigh high boots, skirts the size of beer cozies, and halter tops in the dead of winter. Another gal I knew was with this other guy for a few years and she dressed like a hooker for him as well. The purpose was to keep them interested and aroused at all times, of course. I have no problem doing this behind closed doors with someone, but to dress like that and be advertising like that is not cool with me. If you dress like trash people treat you like trash. Which the two above mentioned are/were, and ultimately were treated that way. 3) Fear - What am I afraid of? Well, I guess that's a loaded question. I think what puts me off is that I will be seen as something that I am not. On the other hand, it can improve my chances of being with someone, and as I honestly haven't tried it before ... Should I? I am not morbidly obese by any means. I was even thinking that I would try this Sunday as I have this internet date (he seems ok based on the little I know of him from our interactions). What do others think? Should I try this?
Vercetti Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 What's wrong with classy / conservative? Really if wearing shorts that are hardly bigger then boyshort panties, what would you expect to attract. Tanks can be fine, but hit me as dressing down when there are so many other options. If a guy lacks imagination to fill in the blanks how capataving you are, what do you care. 1
neowulf Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 3) Fear - What am I afraid of? Well, I guess that's a loaded question. I think what puts me off is that I will be seen as something that I am not. On the other hand, it can improve my chances of being with someone, and as I honestly haven't tried it before ... Should I? I am not morbidly obese by any means. I was even thinking that I would try this Sunday as I have this internet date (he seems ok based on the little I know of him from our interactions). What do others think? Should I try this? From what you posted enough, it appears as if you're a little uncomfortable with being viewed as "sexy". Your association with it appears to immediately swing to "dressing like whores", like there's some shame associated with embracing your sexual side. Sexy is beautiful. It doesn't need to be cheap, or debase. If you're fortunate enough to be a beautiful woman, with a great body, why not display it in the best light possible? That's not to say you need to strip to your underwear and walk down the street. But what's the harm in experimenting with your look? If anything, perhaps it would help you become more comfortable and confident?
Keenly Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 If you have a friend that is trying to tell you that changing a part of who you are and being something that you are not is going to help you attract a suitable partner, I'd say that person has no idea what they are talking about. I love skin as much as the next guy, but I've never once in my life said "she is cute, she is smart, she is funny, she is (insert any endearing quality here), but she doesn't show enough skin, so I'm out. " 3
yxalitis Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 OMG, there is a huge difference between dressing nicely to show your body, and dressing like a whore! Seriously, are you that uptight? Go to a classy shop, get a nice black, mid-length, backless dress. Wear some nice, not too high heels, put on the minimum of lipstick, mascara, whatever. Look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see...a classy, sexy woman, or a slut? My guess is you'll see the former. Im my opinion the girls in tank tops and mini shorts aren't as attractive as those who understand subtlety, and can let a mans imagination fill the gaps. 4
Mrin Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest that you try it this Sunday. Don't go all trashy but dial the sexy up a level or two. Legs (via dress or skirt) always catch my attention. As does any shoe with a heel. Doesn't have to be that high - just needs to be something more than sensible. See what happens. Edited June 4, 2015 by Mrin 1
Gaeta Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Here is how to be sexy-classy with taste. When you show skin you only show ONE part at a time. Example you will chose to show shoulders (boobs) OR legs but NEVER ever both at the same time. When you show skin in more than one spots at a time that's when you fell in the trashy department. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 Maybe I should explain, I do come off here as being uptight. Well, I am that way because others am. Plus I am a teacher as well and you MUST keep it all buttoned down as much as possible. People can and will take things, be it trivial information, and even, in the teacher's world among coworkers, make things up about you and kick you out. It's pretty much like playing Telephone. And you would be surprised at how quickly you can and will fall if someone gets the wrong idea and muddy language is thrown. I keep it all to myself (hence you talk about things like this with strangers on the internet - ha ha ha), I like to live in the shadows because I have more freedom there. But I think these are much deeper issues than the original question. So I have decided that yes, I will do so but not look trashy. 2
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I see no issue with dialing up the sexy as long as you have the goods. I personally think style is more important, so sexy + style can be awesome while sexy + tacky will just look trashy. Are you familiar with the boob shirt concept?
ZA Dater Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 A long time friend of mine has been saying to me that I need to do this, as it will help my luck with guys in general. No woman friend I have ever had has suggested this EVER as far as I know. And that is this: in order to attract and keep a man, I need to show more skin. And now it's summer so it's tank top season, not the dead of winter. Because as we all know, neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor dark of night will stop the hootchie mama from showing her stuff to others. How do I feel about this? I have mixed emotions... 1) I have dressed sexy in the past, mostly at costume parties and Halloween and the like, because it's considered a costume. And like the movie Mean Girls said, it's the one day of the year that women are allowed to dress like sluts and not have it reflect badly on them. And yes, I have noticed that I am treated differently by people in general. Do I like the attention? Well, somewhat, as it purpose is to have fun or a good time. If I am there to get picked up? Well ... I don't know. 2) Gals who dress sexy to begin with - I have seen a lot of girls out there who are in relationships with certain guys and they think nothing of dressing like complete whores. I'm sure you have seen a few of them. One gal who I was childhood friends with changed overnight. She was trying to keep this man she eventually married (and divorced) and she went from a fairly strait laced, button downed preppy dresser to that of a hooker in thigh high boots, skirts the size of beer cozies, and halter tops in the dead of winter. Another gal I knew was with this other guy for a few years and she dressed like a hooker for him as well. The purpose was to keep them interested and aroused at all times, of course. I have no problem doing this behind closed doors with someone, but to dress like that and be advertising like that is not cool with me. If you dress like trash people treat you like trash. Which the two above mentioned are/were, and ultimately were treated that way. 3) Fear - What am I afraid of? Well, I guess that's a loaded question. I think what puts me off is that I will be seen as something that I am not. On the other hand, it can improve my chances of being with someone, and as I honestly haven't tried it before ... Should I? I am not morbidly obese by any means. I was even thinking that I would try this Sunday as I have this internet date (he seems ok based on the little I know of him from our interactions). What do others think? Should I try this? As a guy my suggestion is this and for me its the cornerstone of life: always be comfortable as you, don't try to be something you are not. Yes, one can dress nicely without showing too much and there are some guys (myself included) who can find too much skin off putting.
Toodaloo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Are you familiar with the boob shirt concept? For those of us who have no clue please do continue... MC - I get this all the time. the chaps I work with are desperate for me to dress up a bit but there are two things that stop me. 1. I am so used to jeans and a rugger shirt I feel weird in other clothes 2. I have no clue about fashion and what would or would not suit me! As for your question why not just up it a little bit? instead of going all out boobs on show just go slightly lower or perhaps a different neck line? Perhaps slightly tighter jeans or a different cut of jeans/ trousers/ skirt etc... A roll neck can look very sexy on some women!
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Boob shirt is just a shirt that's slightly tighter or more form fitting than you would normally feel is comfortable or think is practical. Naturally it depends on your size (from Toodaloo enormous to Jen perky!) but it can work for all of us. You should have a few in your wardrobe that you can use when necessary, and necessary is just when you want to make a boobs impression for whatever reason - date, get something you want, get out of a ticket, etc. Men notice the slightest prominence of the boob, so you can marginalize their thinking ability by wearing a boob shirt to your advantage, plus it doesn't look outwardly slutty and can come off as totally innocent.
Redhead14 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 A long time friend of mine has been saying to me that I need to do this, as it will help my luck with guys in general. No woman friend I have ever had has suggested this EVER as far as I know. And that is this: in order to attract and keep a man, I need to show more skin. And now it's summer so it's tank top season, not the dead of winter. Because as we all know, neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor dark of night will stop the hootchie mama from showing her stuff to others. How do I feel about this? I have mixed emotions... 1) I have dressed sexy in the past, mostly at costume parties and Halloween and the like, because it's considered a costume. And like the movie Mean Girls said, it's the one day of the year that women are allowed to dress like sluts and not have it reflect badly on them. And yes, I have noticed that I am treated differently by people in general. Do I like the attention? Well, somewhat, as it purpose is to have fun or a good time. If I am there to get picked up? Well ... I don't know. 2) Gals who dress sexy to begin with - I have seen a lot of girls out there who are in relationships with certain guys and they think nothing of dressing like complete whores. I'm sure you have seen a few of them. One gal who I was childhood friends with changed overnight. She was trying to keep this man she eventually married (and divorced) and she went from a fairly strait laced, button downed preppy dresser to that of a hooker in thigh high boots, skirts the size of beer cozies, and halter tops in the dead of winter. Another gal I knew was with this other guy for a few years and she dressed like a hooker for him as well. The purpose was to keep them interested and aroused at all times, of course. I have no problem doing this behind closed doors with someone, but to dress like that and be advertising like that is not cool with me. If you dress like trash people treat you like trash. Which the two above mentioned are/were, and ultimately were treated that way. 3) Fear - What am I afraid of? Well, I guess that's a loaded question. I think what puts me off is that I will be seen as something that I am not. On the other hand, it can improve my chances of being with someone, and as I honestly haven't tried it before ... Should I? I am not morbidly obese by any means. I was even thinking that I would try this Sunday as I have this internet date (he seems ok based on the little I know of him from our interactions). What do others think? Should I try this? Dressing sexy is not about showing a ton of skin or looking slutty. Dressing sexy is about highlighting your best features and down playing other features. For instance, if you have nice legs, wear a short skirt with a tasteful top and not showing much skin up there or just a little bit of cleavage if you have it Or if you have a nice rack, choose a top that shows off a little bit with a nice pair of slacks or jeans or a skirt that's not too short. It's about leaving some mystery. Show just enough to keep em looking. If you have nice legs don't cover them with thigh high boots, show a little thigh. Slutty ends up being showing off everything at the same time or dressing with trampy accessories. Sexy is alluring but tasteful.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 Well he canceled on me anyway. Looks like it ain't gonna happen anyway.
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