treehugger101 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 A lot of couples have broken up due to many reasons but how did it end for you? Did it end over email, text, phone call, through a friend or a friend of a friend or a family member, in person? How did your partner feel? If it was in person did they drive or walk home crying and ended up doing something dumb?
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 In person. We had an argument the night before because he had been out with friends all day Friday and most of the day Saturday and wouldn't respond to my texts (over 24 hours) and I was worried, and he told me he was sick of me acting like his "mother". He said he wanted to spend the night away from me to "think about if we needed to break or a breakup, but first he wanted a shower and dinner (!?). I said NO, if you don't want to be here, get out. It was the first time I ever out my foot down and kicked him out.p, but it was only for the evening. The next day, I asked him what was going on. He said he was coming to pick up his stuff. Didn't even have the nerve to flat out say he was breaking up with me. He came to my place and packed up a bunch of his stuff. Was in such a hurry to leave that he left a bunch of it behind. Wouldn't even give me a conversation. Said some mean stuff as he walked out and said "I'm walking out that door and DO NOT come after me.", and he left. Begged him to stay like an idiot, even though in my mind I knew he was all wrong for me.
Photofinish Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 In person It was at union square in the nyc and we were sitting on a bench when I told him I didnt want to have sex because of so many issues going on in my life. He decided to break up with me there and I broke down crying because he was dumping me because I wouldnt have sex with him and I had seen my father die on vacation in another country a week ago. I came back and was basically alone in the country until the rest of my family followed so I just broke down saying "I lost my dad and now you" and I told him to tell me in my face that he was breaking up with me because I wouldnt have sex with him and he wouldnt say it. I just cried and cried as crowds of people passed by . It was super pitiful lol. He took me back at the end of the night but I ended up breaking up with him two days later.
guest569 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 On New Year's Day he decided to reveal his true feelings. Another breakup, he notified me that it was over by sending a text at midnight.
Omei Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 My breakup was terrible ive tried to forget it, its blurry I remember "just get out of my life already" being said while I was crying it was like a crack in the planet if I talk on it further the emotion will flood back and ill get mega tired.
DivorcedDad123 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 On the phone when she told me where to bail her out. Think she ended up spending two weeks there before her mom finally gave in. 1
Jessie1231 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 My most awkward break up was in an airport just before we were getting on our return flight (8 hours) to the U.S. It made for an uncomfortable trip home.
candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 by text - me dumping him. One day before we were having dinner together, planning the next week's trip abroad when he was to meet my folks and our holiday at the seaside. We were talking about exes when he all of a sudden tells me what he doesn't think he'll ever want to get married. For sure not on the short term. But he def wants children on the short term. oh, and I forgot, telling me that he cares about me a lot, blah blah blah. I think he got it, that I was shaken, as he was insisting that I stay over and sh*t. I was stunned. Left home and whatsupped the next day that marriage is a dealbreaker to me. He very politely thanked me for everything I did for "us". Yup, colder than this, you get the eternal glacier, here in Switzerland - I'm sure you can even ski now, if you care . He must have been absolutely crazy inlove with me to let it end like that. What I call "a tactful man with strong principles". Hope those principles of his are warming him up, every night. I've been in NC ever since - 3 weeks ago, and it's immensely helpful. You never truly know a person until you break up with them, I swear!
Toodaloo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Last one was a note left on the cooker. The one that screwed me up didn't actually officially happen. He just stopped talking to me at all. One minute he is asking to marry me the next day nothing... no speech at all, no touch, no recognition that I was in the room or even existed. Caused me a nervous break down, lost my home, nearly lost my job, lost my sanity. He literally ignored me as though I no longer existed. After I moved out he told our cleaner all sorts of stories about me and weird freaky stuff... He took on a sexually abusive foster child who then went on to abuse our foster daughter and my step daughter as well as a couple of other young girls in the village... I had no clue there was another child in the house and hadn't been living there for over 2 months at that point... It was not a good time and it took every ounce of my strength, determination and sanity to get that boy removed to a suitable foster placement and keep the girls safe. I was the only one prepared to speak up as my ex was/ is a prominent figure in the local community. As far as pedal stools go he has his own plinth with a plaque. I have never been fully the same since. It was well over 10 years ago, probably nearer 15. My friends and family say he stole my smile. Apparently my eyes haven't shone the same way since. My mother still adored him until the beginning of this year. I don't know what he did, but one day she just flipped and she now can't stand him. My brother and father still can't stand him and would happily throttle him even after all this time. They frequently "accidentally" take up too much room on the local roads when they see him coming.
smackie9 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I broke up with my ex on April Fool's day, but it wasn't a joke. I wrote a note and wrapped his key with the note, dropped it into his mail box.
misspond Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 The big break up with the man I had lived with for ten years and had two children with was done in person. I had talked to him before about how unhappy I was and that I wanted to leave, he would always persuade me to stay, "for the sake of the kids." Foolishly, even though it was a sexless and desperately unhappy relationship by then, I did. Five years ago I told him I couldn't live with him any longer, and (as he had found himself another woman) he agreed. Dreadful anxiety on my part as I had no family close by, no money saved (I had tried but only worked part time) and two small children, and I had to stay in the house with him for another 6 months until I found somewhere to go. Luckily there was enough room in the house for him to have a room to himself. Lost loads of weight and almost lost my mind due to the anxiety (love was long since gone but my self-esteem was rock bottom), and eventually found a new place to live and have been single ever since.
cessna Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 by text - me dumping him. One day before we were having dinner together, planning the next week's trip abroad when he was to meet my folks and our holiday at the seaside. We were talking about exes when he all of a sudden tells me what he doesn't think he'll ever want to get married. For sure not on the short term. But he def wants children on the short term. oh, and I forgot, telling me that he cares about me a lot, blah blah blah. I think he got it, that I was shaken, as he was insisting that I stay over and sh*t. I was stunned. Left home and whatsupped the next day that marriage is a dealbreaker to me. He very politely thanked me for everything I did for "us". Yup, colder than this, you get the eternal glacier, here in Switzerland - I'm sure you can even ski now, if you care . He must have been absolutely crazy inlove with me to let it end like that. What I call "a tactful man with strong principles". Hope those principles of his are warming him up, every night. I've been in NC ever since - 3 weeks ago, and it's immensely helpful. You never truly know a person until you break up with them, I swear! Wait, so you break up with him over a text message, he politely thanks you for everything and he's somehow the bad guy in all this? Both of my relationships ended with me being dumped over the phone. The first one she dumped me by text, we stupidly got back together for eight months and then she dumped me over the phone. I've never seen or heard from her since. I found out a month after she dumped me that she was cheating on me all along. The most recent one was via a text again but because of the distance I don't hold that against her. She didn't want to do it that way but I could tell something was wrong and kept pushing her to tell me at a time she couldn't phone me. There is zero animosity between us and seven months later I'm still not over her. If she wanted me back I'd jump at the chance.
candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Wait, so you break up with him over a text message, he politely thanks you for everything and he's somehow the bad guy in all this? texts and emails, yeah. his last phrase in an email was "he needed to think whether the way he was seeing the future was correct or not". I told him it's not even about marriage anymore, it's not about us two harmonizing a common view of the future, it's about me leaving his arse and him not freaking out but acting all polite. The answer I got was "the thought that he might be blocking me (as I want to marry) is freezing him". I don't think that's possible, emotionally speaking, he's well located in Iceland anyway. Norway or Alaska, once it's beyong -25 it makes little difference. but yeah, I've dumped him on whatsapp. not the most elegant breakup, but just as effective.
candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 The most recent one was via a text again but because of the distance I don't hold that against her. She didn't want to do it that way but I could tell something was wrong and kept pushing her to tell me at a time she couldn't phone me. There is zero animosity between us and seven months later I'm still not over her. If she wanted me back I'd jump at the chance. wow, no animosity... your ex must be good. I can't do the "no animosity" thingy. If I've fallen for the guy, if sex was decent and he dumped me (or put me in a position where i've had to dump him) can't do the pretending game. I'm mad, I hold a grudge and I for sure don't want to have anything to do with the other person. With time, the grudge goes away. I end up forgiving but I don't forget.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Found out she was cheating on me from other people. Lovely
cessna Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 wow, no animosity... your ex must be good. I can't do the "no animosity" thingy. If I've fallen for the guy, if sex was decent and he dumped me (or put me in a position where i've had to dump him) can't do the pretending game. I'm mad, I hold a grudge and I for sure don't want to have anything to do with the other person. With time, the grudge goes away. I end up forgiving but I don't forget. Well maybe that says more about your own maturity. I harbour ill feelings towards my first ex, for obvious reasons, though if I bumped into her I wouldn't be a dick to her I just wouldn't acknowledge her. My most recent ex was the sweetest thing ever, we got on perfectly but the situation just changed with us being further apart than we would have preferred. Obviously, I didn't want to end things with her, I absolutely adored her and I went through the usual motions of being hurt, crying a lot, then feeling angry. But I have no reason to dislike her and she has no reason to dislike me. Neither of us cheated or treated the other badly it's just how these things go sometimes. Who knows maybe one day we'll get back together again, unlikely, but you never know. I don't get what you mean by playing the 'pretending game'... I'm not pretending I still like her. I just genuinely do still like and respect her. What does being mad achieve?
candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 you are absolutely correct, you achieve nothing. The reaction is not something sought out or planned. Just like you genuinely respect and like your ex, I cannot be all peaceful, sunshine and merry. It's me, my reaction, it's not how I choose to react. It's more an observation than an action from me. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's anger towards the lost time or towards the wasted efforts and hopes invested, I don't know. It's splitting up with a person whom I was intimate with. I cannot get more intimate than that. Suddenly leaving that person, irrelevant of why and how, can't possibly leave me calm and... respectful. Pissed, yeah. Upset? you bet. And then I drink a beer, grin and bare it for a month or so and feel better again. Indifference. That's at least how I function.
cessna Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Anger towards the lost time? I understand your aim is the get married but do you really view everything before marriage as lost time? What a terrible why to live your life. What, in all honesty, is going to change when you do eventually get married? And when you get married and that ends in divorce will that be lost time? Or will it be happy years you spent with someone you love? I miss my ex and I was hugely upset. Not at her but because we had such a great time together and now I wouldn't get to experience that with her again. I don't view it as three years wasted, I see it as three of the most enjoyable years lived.
candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) oh no, it wasn't even marriage, in the end. i thought that's what is was. It's love. He showed he absolutely didn't care. He had simply developed a very astute roadmap to snatch himself a mother for his unborn children. Love was not included in his plan. Lost time, wasted efforts and lost feelings as i've spent them with a person colder than an ice cube. Calculating. I could have used the time we were meeting up reading, learning, meeting other people. It is an investment from my side, I am 35. I want children, between the time I met him and the time I heal, it'll be 7-8 months. If I were 25, i couldn't care less. Yeah, I resent that. I resent not having been smarter. And thanks LORD he didn't have marriage in his plan. imagine, I would have never realized i'm a placeholder. My end goal is not a ring. I could have married my ex of 7 years. I did freak out when he said that marriage was not part of the equation, sure. But everything is negotiable. Everything. You'd be surprised at what people can get, if they put their mind to it. A man who would just leave so easily, with a simple shrug of shoulders ... he's not involved. not at all. I was immensely lucky to have realized it. Immensely lucky. you're right, I shouldn't be mad, I should feel sorry for him. Compassionate. Poor bloke ... Edited June 4, 2015 by candie13
candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 And when you get married and that ends in divorce will that be lost time? Or will it be happy years you spent with someone you love? I don't intend to marry in order to get a divorce . If that's what you're thinking, that's what you're going to get. I miss my ex and I was hugely upset. Not at her but because we had such a great time together and now I wouldn't get to experience that with her again. I don't view it as three years wasted, I see it as three of the most enjoyable years lived. three years is a long time. You've obviously loved eachother. I understand that you have had love. You've had a positive experience. You have something to treasure. My ex never told me he loved me. We had spent 4-5 months together. I was about to introduce him to my parents, we were flying to the other part of Europe for it. When he so simply and easily accepted the break up, I felt cheated. I've not introduced or wanted to introduce anyone to them in 5 years. I was that close. You cannot compare the 2 RS.
davidromero43 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I have had some crazy breakups. The most heartbreaking was in college. Our first two years in college we practically lived together, then she dropped out of school and moved back with her parents. They lived about five hours away from my college, so every time I got to see her, I was super excited. That last year we had gone to Palm Springs for spring break. She entered a bikini contest and won. They followed with a guy best body contest, which I came in third. They went on audience applause and I still think I won. But we were super pumped after that, and had a fantastic week. A few weeks later we take a trip to Tijuana. We had such a great time. I was so in love. We would banter back and forth “I love you” in chipmunk voices. The following Sunday I called to see what she was doing. Her Dad answered and was very confused on why I thought she would be home, because she got married on Saturday. So she was off on her honeymoon to Jamaica. The next time I heard from her was about two months later. She left a message on the answering machine that just said “I love you very much, I’m so sorry.”. About a year ago she sent me a facebook friend request, which I accepted. She is still married. I found out he is a doctor. They both look great. He is very small, but very handsome. They have three kids. I really wished she had turned fat and ugly, and he was like 70 years old in a wheelchair. I sent her a facebook message that just said “Great to see you. How is life?”. She didn’t answer and defriended me. I guess she just wanted to look through my photos. I wonder if she liked them.
Purepony Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I have had some crazy breakups. The most heartbreaking was in college. Our first two years in college we practically lived together, then she dropped out of school and moved back with her parents. They lived about five hours away from my college, so every time I got to see her, I was super excited. That last year we had gone to Palm Springs for spring break. She entered a bikini contest and won. They followed with a guy best body contest, which I came in third. They went on audience applause and I still think I won. But we were super pumped after that, and had a fantastic week. A few weeks later we take a trip to Tijuana. We had such a great time. I was so in love. We would banter back and forth “I love you” in chipmunk voices. The following Sunday I called to see what she was doing. Her Dad answered and was very confused on why I thought she would be home, because she got married on Saturday. So she was off on her honeymoon to Jamaica. The next time I heard from her was about two months later. She left a message on the answering machine that just said “I love you very much, I’m so sorry.”. About a year ago she sent me a facebook friend request, which I accepted. She is still married. I found out he is a doctor. They both look great. He is very small, but very handsome. They have three kids. I really wished she had turned fat and ugly, and he was like 70 years old in a wheelchair. I sent her a facebook message that just said “Great to see you. How is life?”. She didn’t answer and defriended me. I guess she just wanted to look through my photos. I wonder if she liked them. This is so sad I can't believe someone would do something like that
petsrule Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 He disappeared on me and next thing I knew when me and my family were trying to find him we found out by him boasting on his facebook account that he'd got another girlfriend
Male Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 My girlfriend and I lived about 45 mins from each other. We would see each other sporadically during the week, but would take turns sleeping over each others house all weekend. After about a year or so, we would spend a weekend going out with our friends instead. Once in awhile, after we decided that the weekend would be spent with friends, she would show up at my place anyways. The first few times if I had plans with friends I would break them and spend time with her. But after a few more times I told her that it wasnt fair for me to ditch my friends, especially after your agreed that it was "friends weekend". So a few more months go by, everything is fine, then comes another "friends weekend". I go to dinner with a buddy of mine. After dinner, before we went out for some beers, we had to stop back at my house for something(cant remember what it was for the life of me). Whos sitting on my porch when I get there? My girlfriend of course. We go in the house while my friend waits in his car. No fight, no argument, she tells me to go out with my friend, and she'll stay at my place till I get back. My friend and I return around midnight. My girlfriend is in my bed but not sleeping. She instantly lashes out at me "How could you leave me here like that all night"? Yelling and flipping out about how she cant believe I did that. The fight just gets worse as I try to explain my side out it to her. After about an hour or so, I tell her to just leave, and that we are breaking up. She agrees, gathers up all her things, and storms out of the house. I hear her get in her car. But she doesnt drive away. About 5 mins later she is outside my bedroom window, crying and begging for me to take her back. I refuse over and over, reminding her how she keeps repeating the same behavior no matter what. After about 10 mins of her pleading...her demeanor changes, and she simply says "OK", gets up and walks to her car and leaves. I never had a connection with anyone like I did with her. I always felt that I should have tried to work through our problems because of how amazing she was. I found out a few years later though that her sister died from a drug overdose, and due to the pain and depression it caused her she committed suicide less than a year later.
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 My friends and family say he stole my smile. Apparently my eyes haven't shone the same way since. That makes me sad.
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