acheybreakey Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 So, I went out with this guy for a month and a half. Not a very long time but things went very fast, mostly because of him always wanting us to see each other but I was really enjoying it. Then, out of nowhere he tells me that he can't see me anymore because he's not ready for a relationship but we could still be friends if I wanted. I said I'd think about it but probably not. One week later, he texts me saying he's thinking about me and wondering how I am and what I'm up to. I just responded saying I'm good, I hope you are too. He replied with how he's good just hanging out with friends, blah blah blah blah blah. Then he asked if I wanted to get together and check out a museum or something. I said I didn't know if I'd have time and he said to just shoot him a text whenever I'm free and he would "make time for me." A week later, I decide that I do want to see him so I text asking if he's free on a certain day. He asks, during the daytime? I say yeah and he replies that he needs to get back to me because he thinks he may have already made plans with someone else but can't remember who. I figure he just had another change of heart and is blowing me off again but not even an hour later he starts liking all of my most recent instagram posts (I know, stupid thing to think about, but it could mean something, no?) So what do you guys think? Is it possible he wants to get back together? Or does he just want to actually be friends? Or is he just blowing me off and I shouldn't reach out to him again? Thank you for your advice
toscaroscura Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 I don't even waste my time with people like this anymore. My advice is to forget about him and move on. 1
Redhead14 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 So, I went out with this guy for a month and a half. Not a very long time but things went very fast, mostly because of him always wanting us to see each other but I was really enjoying it. Then, out of nowhere he tells me that he can't see me anymore because he's not ready for a relationship but we could still be friends if I wanted. I said I'd think about it but probably not. One week later, he texts me saying he's thinking about me and wondering how I am and what I'm up to. I just responded saying I'm good, I hope you are too. He replied with how he's good just hanging out with friends, blah blah blah blah blah. Then he asked if I wanted to get together and check out a museum or something. I said I didn't know if I'd have time and he said to just shoot him a text whenever I'm free and he would "make time for me." A week later, I decide that I do want to see him so I text asking if he's free on a certain day. He asks, during the daytime? I say yeah and he replies that he needs to get back to me because he thinks he may have already made plans with someone else but can't remember who. I figure he just had another change of heart and is blowing me off again but not even an hour later he starts liking all of my most recent instagram posts (I know, stupid thing to think about, but it could mean something, no?) So what do you guys think? Is it possible he wants to get back together? Or does he just want to actually be friends? Or is he just blowing me off and I shouldn't reach out to him again? Thank you for your advice If you liked him enough, wait til he gets back to you. If he doesn't get back to you, he was just blowing you off. If he does and can see you, you go and go from there. If he starts asking you for real dates, you have a conversation about what you are looking for for yourself out of your dating experiences and find out what he's looking for. If you're not on the same page, you move on. 1
misspond Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 The whole social media "liking" game, when you're not actual friends with someone, is just another way for people to let you know they're keeping tabs on you, at least in this kind of scenario anyway. That's why folk should unfriend or block people who play with their heart or feelings. It's unpleasant to my mind, a game of, "I don't really want you but I'll keep you dangling, thinking that I do....because I might.....but I probably won't.....but I'll make you think I do." 1
Author acheybreakey Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 Well now it's Thursday and this whole text exchange went down on Tuesday, so I guess that means he's never getting back to me? That he never wanted to meet up with me in the first place? I really liked him and I thought he liked me. I thought he reached out to me because he changed his mind.. Am I really supposed to not text him to follow up? I want to hold out hope and do it to get a (hopefully good) answer out of him. But at the same time, I know that he definitely didn't forget about our whole exchange and there's a reason he doesn't give enough of a **** to text me.
misspond Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I really liked him and I thought he liked me. I thought he reached out to me because he changed his mind.. Am I really supposed to not text him to follow up? I want to hold out hope and do it to get a (hopefully good) answer out of him. But at the same time, I know that he definitely didn't forget about our whole exchange and there's a reason he doesn't give enough of a **** to text me. You could try but you may well end up disappointed. I'm only saying this because I've been through it myself recently (the whole spending loads of time together, "like you but not wanting a relationship, let's be friends" deal). I did let him go at, "don't want a relationship", but only deleted him on social media after he suddenly started liking and commenting on posts I made later the same day. They just want to keep you hanging to make themselves feel good. Let him go, and go and find a good 'un.
Gary S Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 "Not ready for a relationship" is usually a true statement and means he is on the rebound. How long was his last long term relationships and how long has it been over? 2
aloneinaz Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 You went from plan A to plan B when he said he doesn't want a relationship. He's only interested in doing things with you if he's bored and has nothing else going on while looking for another Plan A girl to date. Honestly, he's already told you he doesn't want a relationship. Why be his back up plan at his convenience? Don't do it. Spend your time and energy in meeting a guy that wants a relationship with you. 1
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