katiemandy88 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Hello everyone, Before a bunch of people start attacking me about how terrible of a person I am, I want to let you know that I am truly torn about this. I started dating this guy and it was a long distance sort of thing from the beginning. Anyways, we talked a bunch on the phone and he came to visit me for a week and we had some of the best times. I was sad to see him go, but we quickly planned for a two week trip for me to go out and see him. I was looking forward to this trip and to see if this can grow into a real relationship (and I was also excited for the sex) since it was a couple months apart. I should also let you know we did not have any sexual encounters the first week he come out to me. So after a couple days of my trip out to see him, I noticed he strangely avoided sex. I tried to get him drunk and make out for a while, but then he would just stop. To make this long story very short (no pun intended coming up), he was extremely small. One night after he fell asleep, I pulled down the sheets and his boxers and saw the smallest baby dick I have ever seen. Everything shortly made sense after. I was still in shock though. I thought I found the perfect guy, tall, handsome, smart, and funny but this was defiantly a low blow. The next day, after trying to get over the awkwardness that I created, i made a goal to have sex with him. I still wanted to give him a chance since I am short anyways...I thought this still might feel great. That night was terrible...I didn't laugh or say anything mean to him, but I will tell you that I had to bite my tongue several times. His condom kept falling off and it wouldn't stay in unless I was on top. While I was on top, it was a challenge for him to even stay hard. And him hard was less than 3 inches and I am not joking. It was less than a lighter. We had a few more nights of these terrible sex episodes because I felt stuck. I was 5 states away from home and I still had 2 more night before my leaving flight. Finally on the last night I told him we should take a step back from having sex and I would just give him a HJ. Lets just say I felt gross after. I tried to hint to him to try something else down on me, but he didn't catch on. So hear I am, after my trip and very frustrated lol. So I ask you, any advice you have for me. He is an extremely nice guy, but I still need sex. I am not trying to sound like a "B", but its what I need. Has this happened to anyone else before and can assist me please??? I hope to hear from you!
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Let him go. Hopefully he can find a girl that doesn't have a normal sex drive. 1
Gloria25 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Men don't work with "hints"....you gotta tell them what you want them to do to/for you. Also, most women do not orgasm from penetration alone....it's a combo of manual/oral stimulation and penetration with a penis, fingers and/or toys. I'm gathering you're not that experienced? Cuz, not sure why you were trying to do certain positions. Also, there's anal....if he's that small, you both can get away with being "naughty" w/o your anus being stretched to death. So, the key is in the delivery...once you decide what you want (anal, him to make you orgasm through fingering/oral) then present it directly (no hints), but make it sexy and enthusiastic. Like, "Hey babe, I was checking out some books and wanted to see if you wanna try this, play a game (like you do "this" for me and I'll let you do "that" to me)" and see if he bites. If he doesn't "bite" then maybe a convo outside of the bedroom needs to take place where you two agree to see a sex therapist and/or explore different ways to please each other. Ummm, I wonder if he is also inexperienced cuz IMO, a man (even in pornos) makes it his goal to "prep" the woman before he penetrates...that usually involves fingering, oral, to make her wet or even bring her to orgasm. I mean, good guys wanna make sure you get yours before they do So, good luck!!! 1
newmoon Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 i'm sure he already knows his issue - which is why he was avoiding sex. if you break it off he'll assume (correctly) it's for that reason. his personality and niceness won't compensate for his size or a bad sex life, so you're better off saying goodbye now. he won't get any bigger and you won't get over it. 1
Male Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 (edited) I thought I found the perfect guy, tall, handsome, smart, and funny Tall = perfect? Funny how you can find evidence of this biased thinking all over the place. But if a guy brings up the topic he gets shot down and made to look like hes making it all up. he won't get any bigger and you won't get over it. How many women could truly get over it though? Edited June 3, 2015 by Male
Methodical Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Sexual incapability is disastrous to people who enjoy a healthy sex life so cut the cord now. There are a wide variety of preferences, we've discussed this here many times. Some women want a guy that's at least average or above in length and girth, others don't want a guy with a big penis bc it hurts them. Hopefully this guy will find someone who prefers a below average penis, these women do exist, and you don't fall into that category. Get out now. 1
Fleur de cactus Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 The funny part is that you tried to make him drunk and you pulled down his boxers!! Talk to him and see if you can be innovative both together. When he is more comfortable and is sure you are serious about the relationship, you can talk about this concern. I am sure he will understand. Then you can make a decision. Good luck. 1
madjac74 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 What if you had this great tall guy with a big ole ween and the sex was fantastic..he has an accident and can't get an erection anymore. Would you be on here trying to decide whether to leave him? The "minor thing" you are worried about is fixable with some sexual creativity. The important thing is that you say he is a great guy! If you just need sex then don't waste his time
SammySammy Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 I'm not sure a 3" penis is really a big problem for women. According to the chart in this article (LINK), 4" more or less is the average length of an erect penis in many Asian countries. If 4" is the average, then that means there are A LOT of 3" penises taking care of business in Asia. If you think about it, China and India are the most populous countries in the world with over a BILLION people each. It seems that small penises are more than adequate when two countries have produce more than one third of the world's population. Have Western women been misled when it comes to penis size expectations? Has the 3" penis been unfairly maligned when it is actually more than adequate to please a woman?
madjac74 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Have Western women been misled when it comes to penis size expectations? Has the 3" penis been unfairly maligned when it is actually more than adequate to please a woman? Just because they are "producing" does not mean they are pleased 2
Mrin Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 OP: you guys just might not be sexually compatible. Don't feel bad for that. Sex is an important part of relationships. If you like the guy enough then try to work around it. Anal. Oral. All sorts of stuff. But if you don't see this guy as super special then move on and don't fret about it. Snarky Comment: This pertains to both men and women. If you have some shortcoming in the sexual apparatus department, then don't just sit there and stew about it. Become an amazing lover other ways. My guess is that if this dude had some skills and had you coming and coming and coming with his mouth and hands, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Christ - even if the guy had made an effort you probably wouldn't have considered posting. I'm above average myself. My GF says I am huge but I think she's just feeding my ego (which I appreciate thank you very much). But I am a "giver" when it comes to sex and usually I don't even think about intercourse until she's near blackout or having out of body experiences. I am pretty sure I could be 3 inches and limp and she'd still be walking around with a big ass grin on her face. It is all about effort, skills, intention and responding to her verbal and non-verbal queues. 6
Radu Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 To some extent, penis size can be increased [look up jelqing]. There are also operations. The bottom line is ... is it worth investing that amount of time into the relationship ? You do not know what this has done to him in other parts of his life. You could talk to him, be honest ... though that's a bit hard from 5 states away where you 'fled'. PS: There are women with very tight and small vaginas ... would be great if there was a dating site for the horribly large and the horribly small. 1
SammySammy Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Just because they are "producing" does not mean they are pleased You gotta have a lot of sex in order to make that many babies. A billion folks in each country. All of those women aren't haven't sex and not enjoying it. Is it possible smaller men are being made to feel inadequate unnecessarily?
jen1447 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 OP, it sounds like it's clearly a deal-breaker for you (don't feel bad - it is for many, myself included), so what's the point of persisting? It may make you feel shallow but you're not. Sexual incompatibility is bad. Life's unfair but it's not up to you to make it fair by 'sacrificing' yourself bc he's a good guy or whatever. It's really no different than the looks thing - some have them and some don't.
Davey L Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Men don't work with "hints"....you gotta tell them what you want them to do to/for you. Also, most women do not orgasm from penetration alone....it's a combo of manual/oral stimulation and penetration with a penis, fingers and/or toys. I'm gathering you're not that experienced? Cuz, not sure why you were trying to do certain positions. Also, there's anal....if he's that small, you both can get away with being "naughty" w/o your anus being stretched to death. So, the key is in the delivery...once you decide what you want (anal, him to make you orgasm through fingering/oral) then present it directly (no hints), but make it sexy and enthusiastic. Like, "Hey babe, I was checking out some books and wanted to see if you wanna try this, play a game (like you do "this" for me and I'll let you do "that" to me)" and see if he bites. If he doesn't "bite" then maybe a convo outside of the bedroom needs to take place where you two agree to see a sex therapist and/or explore different ways to please each other. Ummm, I wonder if he is also inexperienced cuz IMO, a man (even in pornos) makes it his goal to "prep" the woman before he penetrates...that usually involves fingering, oral, to make her wet or even bring her to orgasm. I mean, good guys wanna make sure you get yours before they do So, good luck!!! As usual Gloria gives us a different angle on the problem, in this case suggesting something a bit more constructive than the "dump him" recommendations, and I have to agree with her. In addition it seems that embarrassment over his size is making him avoid sex leading to lack of experience exacerbating the situation. I can relate to this - I used to think I was small (although I have since realised I'm not, it was just comparison with porn) and hence when I was young I was always somewhat apprehensive of new sexual encounters. If the guy has other desirable qualities (which it seems from the posting) you may consider it worthwhile investing the effort to improve his technique, and helping him to satisfy you in other ways. As Gloria says, though, mere hints are not enough you need to tell him what to do. Don't be afraid to mention his size - he knows he's small anyway - but make it clear his size is not, or need not, be a problem if he does "this" or "that" or uses it in particular ways. I am sure that if you can make him happy and confident with his size he will treasure you for ever! 1
Davey L Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 You gotta have a lot of sex in order to make that many babies. A billion folks in each country. All of those women aren't haven't sex and not enjoying it. Is it possible smaller men are being made to feel inadequate unnecessarily? Just made me think - assuming say 1000x sex per child conceived that's a trillion acts of sexual intercourse. That's a mind boggling amount of sex particularly if all those women aren't satisfied by it.
anika99 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 i'm sure he already knows his issue - which is why he was avoiding sex. if you break it off he'll assume (correctly) it's for that reason. his personality and niceness won't compensate for his size or a bad sex life, so you're better off saying goodbye now. he won't get any bigger and you won't get over it. I think the guys insecure and selfish behavior in the bedroom is a much bigger problem then his small dick. He didn't even try to pleasure the OP and showed little interest in making sex pleasurable for them both. If she dumps him it should be for that reason.
jen1447 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 small dick For some reason that phrase always makes me
No Limit Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 You're not a terrible person. When two people aren't compatible in the bedroom it's a problem - and seeing how he apparently avoids sex altogether (understandably, since it likely reminds him of his disadvantage) instead of making up for it via oral or toys or whatever I think you should really let this guy go. I bet he'd be more comfortable and successful in the asexual community, but his situation is tough as it is.
preraph Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 It just doesn't bother all women. I want guys to know that. It didn't bother me. If a guy knows what to do with his hands, you might not miss the size at all. I had a roommate who rejected anyone not big, and I was happy to date some of her rejects. I thought she was ridiculous. I think most of that is mental. 1
Renton Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I had a roommate who rejected anyone not big, and I was happy to date some of her rejects. I thought she was ridiculous. I think most of that is mental. Did go on a date with a self confessed size queen (didn't know this beforehand) and she just asked me, blatantly as you like, "have you got a big dick?" I just answered "i'm no slouch" but i didn't date her again. We did not have sex. There was no point as my average size would be a problem for her from the get go.
Jessie1231 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 He sounds like an ex boyfriend of mine. He was so tiny. I can completely understand your description about a baby dick because that's what this guy was working with. Anyway, he was well aware of his issue and even apologized for it (which made me feel so bad for him) and we tried everything we could to make sex enjoyable but it never happened. We only dated a few months, so maybe if we had kept trying it would have gotten better but it just never happened for me. We broke up for other reasons, but honestly I was pretty glad to be done with the awkward sex.
blueskyday Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 (edited) Yeah, maybe a deal breaker. If you had fallen in love first and he had amazing bedroom skills, then it is completely workable. But when you aren't very connected like in the early stages of dating, then it's hard (no pun intended ) to get over. I've been with big guys, average guys, and small guys. Loved all those penises! But, honestly a hard penis of 3 inches is actually tiny and way below small. ( A woman needs to feel somewhat filled up. If he was wider in girth, then that's just fine.) Again, if I loved the guy then I really wouldn't care. I would work with whatever he had. I just think it just might be difficult to move forward from early too awkward too tiny penis sex, and fall in love. I do feel bad for him. Watch the old Sex and the City episode where Samatha has the same issue with a new guy. Very on point. Edited June 5, 2015 by blueskyday
SammySammy Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Yet, there are probably a million or more women in the world having sex with a three inch penis at this very moment. I imagine many of them are enjoying it. You all are giving these men a complex about their penises by putting them all in the "No Good" box. It's grossly unfair. They didn't get to choose their size.
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