IamFierce Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Hello everyone, I found this forum when I was searching through google for advice on what to do with my breakup. I came upon a thread of a breakup here and reading it I saw there were many people who had advice and could give logical answers to issues that are too close at heart to the person writing these words. I say unexpected because for me, it was. When it came to the two of us, people who were are mitual friends, would say that we were two peas in a pod. We were always laughing and always able to make great conversations. We had our minor difference, but generally, we solved them with little conflict and continued to move forward easily. She would ask me questions during complicated movies, usually sci-fi, nearly non stop and at times it could be quite frustrating while trying to watch a flick, but secretly, I loved that I could explain it to her. When we rode in my truck to destinations, we would play song that we both enjoyed or ventured to show new ones that we had found enjoyable. Our taste in music was different, I was an indie guy and she was a country/Christian girl. Either way, she began to like my music, and making an effort to be open, I began to like hers too. We played tennis together a couple times a week and we would take walks together, night or day, about the same. We had a favorite show that we were following along with and we would pray together on the phone, or before our meals, or at night in bed. It was Friday when she broke up with me. The day before, we had played tennis, took a two mile walk ( I carried her on my back past a snake that was tanning on the path), and watched our show at her house before I kissed her goodbye, said we loved eachother, and then let her have her evening to herself and so I could have mine. She asked me if we could talk. I said sure. She asked if we could go to Starbucks to do it. I said lets just do it in the car because I didn't want to go to Starbucks. She said, crying, "That I don't think God want's us to be together" I said, "What?" confused. "I feel like God doesn't want us together right now" "Okay, take me home now." I had to work in 2 hours and already I could feel my world crashing. "Don't you have anything else to say?" "No, there isn't anything to say. Can you please take me home?" -- Now she has sent me texts trying to explain herself and I'll post one of them. For the most part I have been completely silent to her and when she sent me texts I have been short. "If you have hope in God, and this is what he has planned then there will be us. If it is not what he has planned, there wont be. But right now, I am not okay with who I am and have been struggling with thoughts and feelings inside me so much that I literally can't see or think straight. That is why I broke up with you, because if I'm not right with myself, I do not want to drag you down with me." Now I know she has been hanging with her single girlfriends and they have been hanging with other guys. When she asked if we could talk in person later after that text I went and picked her up from her brother's home. They were having a small party and they drink and smoke marijuana over there. I do not drink and I do not smoke. I am a straight arrow and believe in God as much as her, if not more. In fact, unless I have to, I do not like to be around situations like from the place I picked her up. She used to be involved with that kind of stuff when I first met her but I stood my ground and told her that that kind of living was unacceptable in my life. She struggled and did her best to escape from that world and join mine. In a few months I will be at the college we both will be attending. After talking, we decided to attend the same college and so we both applied and were accepted. I have already gotten an apartment there to move into and am preparing. But there are moments, like now, when I feel so down, so depressed that I just want to hang my head. I miss her. So much. Yet, I am doing NC, and standing my ground and it burns. I feel like a flame of anger and sadness. I am about to go play tennis by myself and I feel so bitter. The last thing she has sent me was five days ago a verse from the bible and with her words, "I read this and I thought it might bring you peace" I said, "Thanks" She said, "You're welcome." 1
forumman83 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Wow. Tough situation man. You are doing the right thing with NC. And you are right to assume that her single friends and other guys are influencing her decision to break up with you. If your girlfriend thinks that the grass is greener ,even though you guys have something great, then let her go and experience it. It's the only way she will learn...the hard way. What does God do when one tries to go off the path and away from him? He "gives them over to sin and death." Give her over to what she thinks she wants. She will regret it in the long run. But do not grovel or beg. Stand your ground. Use this time to grow and become better than you ever were. 1
mightycpa Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Straight arrow falls in love with party girl. Works for a while, then crashes. I can't speak for God, but if I'd created both of you, I wouldn't want you to be together. You're fundamentally incompatible. I would want each of you to find people that share your same perspective, and in order to allow you to do that, I would have given each of you the capacity to love more than one person, and a life long enough to do so. My advice would be to stop receiving communications from her to the extent possible, and if she persists, to tell her to stop. You need some time and space to allow yourself to get over this infatuation.
MCGar Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 She had a script in her head. Her: "I feel God doesn't want us to be together." You: upset, concern, questioning, bargaining to stay together. Her: break up with you with the vague promise of the future You: strung along trying to be her friend and torturing yourself over ever single small thing she does in case it means she still loves you Her: Being conflicted and enjoying going out, meeting and flirting with guys while still having you as her emotional cushion You: Doing the pick me dance Her: Stringing you along unless she falls on her face out there OR she falls on her feet and then your pick me dance is like a noose around her neck. 1
Satu Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 She's not being at all honest with you about why she broke up with you. Blaming God is ridiculous. It's not about God, it's about her. She wants excitement and some adventures with other guys. Go NC and have nothing more to do with her.
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