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OLD -Newbie -What does it mean when...? [Update: my OLD days are on hold!!]

LoveMachine67

By LoveMachine67
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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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So, I'm actually starting have a few non catfish checking out my profile, that's the good news. But the bad news, is they are not exactly what I am looking for in a potential date. However, even if I put aside my desired qualities, when i examine their desired mate's qualities in their profiles, they are very specific about only seeking men within their own race.

 

This is a bit confusing to me, because if I chose to send these ladies an email, could I expect a favorable reply? Looking at my cheerful smiling profile photo, is it possible they may have assumed I had a really good tan? Or could it be that they may be open to the possibility of taking a walk on the dark side? :D

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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When you make a search why not ask for ladies with no race preferences?

 

You can email anyone you want on a dating site. On my profile it says serious long term relationship only and I still get hook-up offers, I just ignore them.

 

What is the worse that can happen if you email a woman that wants to date white but you're black? She ignores your email or reply no thank you.

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Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

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How do you know they only want to date in their own race???

 

I doubt any have said Hello my name is Gertrude and I only want to date a French guy...

 

Message them. Don't expect anything. If you do get something back then yay!

 

You will never know unless you try!

 

Oh and don't send a lame message.

 

Send one that shows you have actually looked at and read their profile.

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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When you make a search why not ask for ladies with no race preferences?

 

You can email anyone you want on a dating site. On my profile it says serious long term relationship only and I still get hook-up offers, I just ignore them.

 

What is the worse that can happen if you email a woman that wants to date white but you're black? She ignores your email or reply no thank you.

 

Thanks Gaeta, Just to be clear, it was them that found and read my profile, but when I then took a look at their profiles, they had their Race/Ethnicity Preference set to Caucasian Men only.

 

 

 

How do you know they only want to date in their own race???

 

I doubt any have said Hello my name is Gertrude and I only want to date a French guy...

 

Message them. Don't expect anything. If you do get something back then yay!

 

You will never know unless you try!

 

Oh and don't send a lame message.

 

Send one that shows you have actually looked at and read their profile.

 

 

Thanks for the tips Toodaloo, the OLD site that use allow you to specify the race of your desired matches. Again, it was these ladies that actually found and viewed my profile first.

 

I then looked at their profiles to discover that they had their racial preference set for only caucasian men.

Gary S Established Member

Gary S

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If they are looking at your profile but their profile says they are looking for something different, they may have made an error on their profile. I'd message them, it's free.

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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If they are looking at your profile but their profile says they are looking for something different, they may have made an error on their profile. I'd message them, it's free.

 

Gary, something has just occurred to me... we do live in a relative small area, and these being public profiles, it may be possible that they do not want it known that they are open to dating outside of their own race. Just a thought...

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Let me tell you a little secret.

 

If I see a profile I like but I don't fall in the gentleman's age range I will look at his profile and think: He'll see I checked his profile and even though he is looking for a lady under 40 if he likes my profile he'll message me.

 

So these ladies found your picture interesting enough open the profile and read more about it. It was maybe a way of letting you know they're checking you out. Message them.

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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Let me tell you a little secret.

 

If I see a profile I like but I don't fall in the gentleman's age range I will look at his profile and think: He'll see I checked his profile and even though he is looking for a lady under 40 if he likes my profile he'll message me.

 

So these ladies found your picture interesting enough open the profile and read more about it. It was maybe a way of letting you know they're checking you out. Message them.

 

 

Thanks Gaeta, I will give that a try!

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gaius Established Member

gaius

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If you want her, message her. I did OLD briefly and would shoot off a message to a woman who's minimum age preference was 10 years older than me and I'd end up getting her number most of the time. :p The worst she can do is ignore you.

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Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

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I only want to date White people but I put No Preference in mine to avoid looking racist (some people will accuse you of it)

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I only want to date White people but I put No Preference in mine to avoid looking racist (some people will accuse you of it)

 

And I prefer dating black men but I don't put it in my profile cause then I get hate messages.

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Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

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And I prefer dating black men but I don't put it in my profile cause then I get hate messages.

 

Yeah race is such a fickle thing in dating/relationships, it can really get some people worked up.

 

 

Best to just keep your racial preferences private IMO.

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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I only want to date White people but I put No Preference in mine to avoid looking racist (some people will accuse you of it)

 

BarCode, I understand we all have our preferences... nothing racist about that man. I wish everybody was honest and not worried about offending others, especially in OLD.

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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Yeah race is such a fickle thing in dating/relationships, it can really get some people worked up.

 

 

Best to just keep your racial preferences private IMO.

 

To heck with what people think! Be honest and pick you preferences. If I look at a profile that selects 4 different racial preferences but excludes mine... I say cool.. time to move on.

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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And I prefer dating black men but I don't put it in my profile cause then I get hate messages.

 

Now Gaeta, I understand where you are coming from. Hard to believe you face this problem up in your part of the world... sad. But you've probably learned, there is a way of making your preference known without actually spelling it out. Nothing like an inbox filled with insults.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Now Gaeta, I understand where you are coming from. Hard to believe you face this problem up in your part of the world... sad. But you've probably learned, there is a way of making your preference known without actually spelling it out. Nothing like an inbox filled with insults.

 

It's generational. I would say white men 45 + take it as an attack on their manhood. Younger generations aren't like that.

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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It's generational. I would say white men 45 + take it as an attack on their manhood. Younger generations aren't like that.

 

I'm particularly touchy over the whole subject, because my preference has cost me people that I thought were good friends, and now they view me with as much contempt as ........ well you get the idea. All because I chose to date women of other races.

 

This is why I go out of my way to avoid offending the women I choose to contact.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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On a side note, I really don't like match.com. It's full of scams. Have you tried okcupid? it also has its share of scams but seems less than match.com. I am on badoo at the moment. I hear a lot of Americans on here say it's a bad place but up here it's one of cleanest dating websites.

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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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So, I'm actually starting have a few non catfish checking out my profile, that's the good news. But the bad news, is they are not exactly what I am looking for in a potential date. However, even if I put aside my desired qualities, when i examine their desired mate's qualities in their profiles, they are very specific about only seeking men within their own race.

 

This is a bit confusing to me, because if I chose to send these ladies an email, could I expect a favorable reply? Looking at my cheerful smiling profile photo, is it possible they may have assumed I had a really good tan? Or could it be that they may be open to the possibility of taking a walk on the dark side? :D

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 

If someone is explicit that they only want someone of their own race, why message them hoping they will mistake you for something you aren't or that they'll change your mind? Just move on to people who are open that.

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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On a side note, I really don't like match.com. It's full of scams. Have you tried okcupid? it also has its share of scams but seems less than match.com. I am on badoo at the moment. I hear a lot of Americans on here say it's a bad place but up here it's one of cleanest dating websites.

 

Thanks for the heads up on that other site, I'd never heard of badoo before and I have to check it out. I am on OK Cupid, but I've yet to complete my profile. Since I've chosen to try the OLD route, I really need to put forth a bit more effort, instead of dreading it as I do right now...;)

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LoveMachine67 Established Member

LoveMachine67

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If someone is explicit that they only want someone of their own race, why message them hoping they will mistake you for something you aren't or that they'll change your mind? Just move on to people who are open that.

 

MissBee, I agree with you 100% and I would not even waste the time. It's a case where these women actually viewed my profile first, and they should have seen from my photo that I was not of the racial preference they had chosen in their own profiles. That is where my confusion comes from, since they did take the time to view my profile, do they really want me to make contact.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

Posted
Posted
So, I'm actually starting have a few non catfish checking out my profile, that's the good news. But the bad news, is they are not exactly what I am looking for in a potential date. However, even if I put aside my desired qualities, when i examine their desired mate's qualities in their profiles, they are very specific about only seeking men within their own race.

 

This is a bit confusing to me, because if I chose to send these ladies an email, could I expect a favorable reply? Looking at my cheerful smiling profile photo, is it possible they may have assumed I had a really good tan? Or could it be that they may be open to the possibility of taking a walk on the dark side? :D

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 

You should always just go for it! Always always always!

  • Like 1
JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

Posted
Posted
So, I'm actually starting have a few non catfish checking out my profile, that's the good news. But the bad news, is they are not exactly what I am looking for in a potential date. However, even if I put aside my desired qualities, when i examine their desired mate's qualities in their profiles, they are very specific about only seeking men within their own race.

 

This is a bit confusing to me, because if I chose to send these ladies an email, could I expect a favorable reply? Looking at my cheerful smiling profile photo, is it possible they may have assumed I had a really good tan? Or could it be that they may be open to the possibility of taking a walk on the dark side? :D

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 

A really good tan. Lol.

 

What's funny is that I was thinking this same thing myself because it has happened to me.

 

What I do when that happens is I take her other preferences into consideration. If I fail race and height (by more than 3 inches), or race and income, then I won't send. If I only fail race, then I'll take a chance. Because even if they do list my race and have viewed my profile, my chances of a response are small.

 

I did get a response back from one woman where my race wasn't part of her profile and it was really weird. I won't post it here, because that will out me, but let me know if you want to hear, and I will PM to you.

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Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

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If they are looking at your profile but their profile says they are looking for something different, they may have made an error on their profile. I'd message them, it's free.

 

I am going with this.

 

Attraction is weird. I have found that it rarely has anything to do with skin colour but more with eyes or teeth or a mans stance etc.

 

If they looked at your profile just send a message saying that you caught them peeking! :)

 

What have you got to lose?

 

If you fancy them the worst that will happen is that they will not respond... that happens loads any way!

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Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

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On a side note, I really don't like match.com. It's full of scams. Have you tried okcupid? it also has its share of scams but seems less than match.com. I am on badoo at the moment. I hear a lot of Americans on here say it's a bad place but up here it's one of cleanest dating websites.

 

You're telling him to use a Free site over a Pay Site? There are WAY more scammers/spammers on free sites ;)

 

On Match all the spammers can do is Wink/Like you, they can't send messages. And the profiles are easy to spot.

 

It's hard to spam effectively when there is a membership fee (which none of the spammers pay, they use basic accounts that can't do anything)

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