My boyfriend of 4 years left me and I really miss him need some

[Sarahbarker1994]

Me and my boyfriend of 4 years broke up and they were the best years of my life and he says the same but he's just not willing to work on us anymore because he's spending the summer abroad with friends probably trying to be such a lad. I hope he does one day regret it because we were so in love and we travelled so much together I just don't understand how he changed in such a short period. It's tearing me apart that he seems so okay and he hasn't even tried to contact me since he's been over there. Everyone's saying he just has so much going on to keep him distracted that once he settles in it might hit him, and I'm afraid it will be too late. Everyone's always said I'm too good for him and he's punching above his weight but looks don't mean a thing to me he was always the greatest person I knew and the greatest person in my life even though he wasn't the handsomest! When he gets home I'm afraid he'll either come crawling back or he might not even want to be my friend. I'm being mature about it all and putting on such a front to everyone but I'm secretly being torn apart. I really would appreciate anyone's opinions. Do you think he will try contact me soon? Do you think he even misses me? I am trying to move on so no harsh comments telling me to get over it. I feel like he just gave me no sense of closure that's why I'm stuck. But I do as well wonder if he is at all feeling hurt because of this. I mean 4 years is such a long time. We spent so much time together we talked about our future and he told me how beautiful and how much he loved me everyday until one day he just stopped. He said he'll always 'love me' and he hopes we can talk from time to time but I don't know if he's just saying these things to make me feel better, he even said things would probably be different if he wasn't leaving to spend the summer abroad. I feel like he's torturing me. He knows I suffer from anxiety and I just don't get how he can just get up and leave and not even really tell me why. Please help.

[DexterLS]

You have to find closure by yourself.

 

I can't tell you what will happen in the future. I can't tell you what you want to hear right now.

 

I can tell you this though. The best chance you have at reconciliation (if any) is by going No Contact. If he comes crawling back and you are willing to accept that, it's your choice. If he doesn't, it won't matter too much if you are doing the NC right.

 

Just my POV.

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

My ex broke up with me just before the summer as well, so naturally it made me think he just wanted to be able to do his own thing and have fun during the summer without a girl dragging him down. Trust me, I know it hurts and the timing is awful.

 

Just like there's a honeymoon phase in the beginning of a relationship, there seems to also be one after a breakup. He'll go and have his fun, but when it's back home and back to reality, it may hit him what he gave up for that fun time. Men are good at prolonging their pain by totally avoiding it, whereas we women go through all of the feelings and have a good support system to help us through it. He may very well contact you when he gets home and it all hits him, but honestly, you don't know. I doubt someone can just forget someone after four years, though. Having that length of a relationship works in your favor in terms of a possible reconciliation.

 

In the meantime, it may be best for you to just focus on healing as much as you can. You want to be able to not really give a flip when/if he makes contact. Trust me, I waited around a few weeks for my ex and then one day decided I respected myself too much to do it anymore and focused on me, and I feel better than ever.

 

You don't want to wait around for him and totally miss a fun summer.