candie13 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 what would constitute a "too rigid" person and drive you to eventually break up with them? it is attitude or opinion on certain topics? Or general opinion on life? or do you believe that this is nonsense, because there's no love to begin with and that's why we hang onto the "rigid" details to justify the eventual ending of the RS? do you believe that the upbringing or education has something to do with this, or just life experience? looking forward to hearing your thoughts
Cup Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 To me someone 'rigid' would refuse to be flexible under any circumstance. That blue is blue irrespective of what shade or tone it has. Upbringing, education and life experience can all be factors. I don't date rigid people. I find it hard to be friends with people who are rigid too as I need to be around people who are not so black and white about life.
Author candie13 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 oh, I agree, but see, not all people show their true colors all of a sudden. Those absurd churchgoers or partyanimals are easy to make out and eliminate. I am talking about the more agile, false flexible people. I don't mind a firm opinion, I like people with a point of view, even a challenging point of view. What's that point that makes a person too "rigid" for you and what would those "too rigid" point of views be - politics, football, partying, children, marriage, etc?
Cup Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Oh I'm not talking about fanatics. I'm talking about people who can come across as flexible and open minded but sooner or later the truth comes out. Rigid in terms of children and marriage would be a real problem for me. My brother for example comes across rather open minded but he is rather firm in his conviction against marriage, children and commitment in general. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to communicate that well to the women he has dated. I can deal with football, I can deal with food, but I can't deal with matters that involve an EQ.
Author candie13 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 maybe because... he's keeping shut about it ? I dunno, I've decided to become a vegetarian - it's been 2 weeks almost. does it make me rigid when it comes to food?
writergal Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 maybe because... he's keeping shut about it ? I dunno, I've decided to become a vegetarian - it's been 2 weeks almost. does it make me rigid when it comes to food? Well uh, yeah, because as a vegetarian you can't eat meat, fish, chicken, liver, or anything that constitutes an animal protein. Are you dating someone who you think is rigid, or are you more concerned that your vegetarianism makes you rigid to potential dates?
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 If you want rigid, try being vegan. Congrats on converting. Has your SO said something about your diet choice, or are you trying to convert them? 1
gaius Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Vegans tend to get goofed on a lot in my circle because a small piece of meat will fall on their plate and then they won't eat anything on it, because meat touched their food. As long as you're willing to have a hamburger on the rare occasion we show up somewhere and there's no vegetarian options and not impose vegtables on others nobody reasonable should have an issue with it.
jen1447 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 It may be petty but I find time-mongers unacceptably rigid. I don't mean people who simply expect you to be on time, but those people who'll plan vacations and even the moment-to-moment stuff on a strict schedule. Usually it's "top of the hour" or at precise 15 minute intervals, etc. I can't stand that and the situation usually blows up if I'm involved. Does that count?
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 Well uh, yeah, because as a vegetarian you can't eat meat, fish, chicken, liver, or anything that constitutes an animal protein. Are you dating someone who you think is rigid, or are you more concerned that your vegetarianism makes you rigid to potential dates? more as in "rigid" to potential dates. I am not a Natzi, if I have no choice, I will eat fish, for instance - if there's a bbq, I need to eat smth, haha.
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) If you want rigid, try being vegan. Congrats on converting. Has your SO said something about your diet choice, or are you trying to convert them? I do my best to eat vegan as often as I can. Out of 7 days, I'm a vegan... maybe 3 days? I love cheese to much to be a full time vegan . And there is no SO, I'm single since 3 weeks now. Edited June 4, 2015 by candie13
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 Vegans tend to get goofed on a lot in my circle because a small piece of meat will fall on their plate and then they won't eat anything on it, because meat touched their food. As long as you're willing to have a hamburger on the rare occasion we show up somewhere and there's no vegetarian options and not impose vegtables on others nobody reasonable should have an issue with it. I hate drama and drawing that sort of attention to myself. Luckily enough, most places around here have the classic warm goat cheese salad, so I am saved from embarrassment. If I had to chose, I prefer to actively opt for a piece of meat because I absolutely feel like it, not because I have no other menu choice. I'm recently single, so I don't have all that "dating" pressure on myself, as I've decided to stay put for a while. My gfs are very tolerant. It's really strange, I loooove food and after almost 2 weeks (only) of meat free diet, I can honestly say I don't crave it at all. We'll see in 2 more how it goes.
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 It may be petty but I find time-mongers unacceptably rigid. I don't mean people who simply expect you to be on time, but those people who'll plan vacations and even the moment-to-moment stuff on a strict schedule. Usually it's "top of the hour" or at precise 15 minute intervals, etc. I can't stand that and the situation usually blows up if I'm involved. Does that count? ok, I like people who get on time. I generally am on time, so that's a green point, in my book. Excessive planners and strict schedules, on the other hand, yeah, big turn off. Don't get me wrong, I'm a planner alright, I like to know what are the key attractions and have an idea as for the other, more optional activities, fun to do. I think the best thing one can do, on vacation, is enjoy the moment. And if one has found an amazing, incredible spot or new activity, not on the list, I'm all for staying there or trying out the new fun thing. If I get bored though, yeah, I'm glad to have a tentative plan and rearrange my day. I call myself a "spontaneous planner" !
BluEyeL Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I dunno, but as a vegetarian you're going to have a hard time when you visit Romania LOL
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 how about those people who always have an impeccable look - especially men with perfectly arranged hair? I run away from them like the plague.... but I strangely feel attracted be them too makes me think of either control freaks or narcissists inlove with their own image.
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 I dunno, but as a vegetarian you're going to have a hard time when you visit Romania LOL can you believe that it was my parents who convinced me, when I was there last time ? I was soooo impressed, I am beyond proud! They've done blood tests before and 2 weeks after and it's mindblowing. They follow that low glycaemia index diet, have lost weight steadily, considerably lowered their cholesterol level... I was a vegetarian for a year and a half, when I was 16, that was hell, I give you that ! 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Why do so many people make vegetarianism such a difficult issue to contend with? You eat vegetables, you don't eat meat, sorted, end of... Now if you still eat eggs, you'd be an ovo-vegetarian, if you still have dairy products, you'd be a lacto-vegetarian.... but I just tell people I don't eat meat but am open to other foodstuffs. As long as whatever gave it up neither suffered and didn't have a mother..... It has never ever caused me problems either in the UK or in Italy. However, I have to admit, the French look at you as if you've landed from the planet Zorgh.... People who give you a problem, have a problem. Providing you don't go round with a placard that screams "Meat is murder" and wear lycra, nylon and rubber only (that conjures up certain images all of its own!) who the hell cares what you choose to eat, and why should it bother them? And no gaius, if I go out with a group of people eating nothing but burgers, I'll happily go hungry. If you're going to be pissy about it, so can I.... 1
preraph Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 People who are rigid are usually also controlling. And controlling is bad. If not controlling but still rigid, then what you have is a person who isn't really good at relationships because they can't do anything that doesn't fit with the routine or rut they're most comfortable in and can mean social anxiety. None of these are good things. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 People who are rigid are usually also controlling. And controlling is bad. If not controlling but still rigid, then what you have is a person who isn't really good at relationships because they can't do anything that doesn't fit with the routine or rut they're most comfortable in and can mean social anxiety. None of these are good things. The converse I think, is also true... Nothing is worse than someone continually saying, "I don't mind...." or "whatever you want...." "Sure, I'm not bothered....." and then failing to summon up any kind of enthusiasm or enjoyment for the decision YOU make.... A middle ground would be nice...
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 You know what scares me? People whose places are not just extremely clean, but extremely tidy. Like you can see they have spent a lot of time to perfectly fold their clothes and arrange the cups in a perfectly straight line. Can you spell OCD ? Freaks the hell outta me, makes me feel soooo uncomfortable.
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 People who are rigid are usually also controlling. And controlling is bad. hahaha, I don't do controlling. Had a controlling "friend" once who was also my boss, f*cked my brains in soooo many creative ways, it's not even funny. If not controlling but still rigid, then what you have is a person who isn't really good at relationships because they can't do anything that doesn't fit with the routine or rut they're most comfortable in and can mean social anxiety. Social anxiety, woooow, ain't that a beauty. You've just helped me have an epiphany, because indeed, people with rigid principles are socially awkward. It's just that some are really good at hiding it. Thanks, preraph, that's a fantastic input ! None of these are good things. More and more, I realize that normal is a much more difficult to attain than one might think.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 You know what scares me? People whose places are not just extremely clean, but extremely tidy. Like you can see they have spent a lot of time to perfectly fold their clothes and arrange the cups in a perfectly straight line. Can you spell OCD ? That's not necessarily a sign of someone who is OCD. That's just a sign of someone who is meticulous and fastidious. Alex Polizzi is such a person, and she attributes part of her success on being 'Pignola' (Feminine version....) OCD are far more evident in their day to day behaviour - for true reference, watch 'Monk'....
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 ......More and more, I realize that normal is a much more difficult to attain than one might think. Define 'normal'...!
Author candie13 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 That's not necessarily a sign of someone who is OCD. That's just a sign of someone who is meticulous and fastidious. Alex Polizzi is such a person, and she attributes part of her success on being 'Pignola' (Feminine version....) OCD are far more evident in their day to day behaviour - for true reference, watch 'Monk'.... I'm exaggerating, of course. I am not a doctor, I'd never try to diagnose someone. It's just that... in the bigger scheme of things, there are so many other important things, that i cannot believe why anyone would spend that much time and effort into something this... little. To me, anyway.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I know, folks has to find themselves a happy medium... a cup needing washing, staying in the bowl overnight, isn't going to precipitate WWIII.... But you'd think the way some people are, it's a greater tragedy than tornadoes and tsunamis put together!
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