Gaeta Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 You do not know that. When I lost my virginity, it wasn't agony, it wasn't even sore, I didn't bleed either. So all this "she probably wasn't a virgin" and "she just wanted to lose her v card to anyone at all", is mere assumption and I guess simply justification for pumping and dumping her, like she was rubbish. I am not debating if she was virgin or not. If she said so I believe she was. But I don't think it was a big deal to her to lose her virginity and she is probably glad it's done with. I am not assuming it, I am drawing hypotheses based on my knowledge of human nature. IF it would have been a big deal to her or if she had read something more in their sexual encounters, she would have contacted him several times by now, would ask to see him again, would ask him why he's not calling, etc. All that good stuff young innocent girls do when they feel they've been used. She is not. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Someone who values their virginity doesn't lose it to a random OLD stranger on the first date. 3
elaine567 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Someone who values their virginity doesn't lose it to a random OLD stranger on the first date. OK but, some guys are pretty persuasive.
Toodaloo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 When I lost mine I didn't tell him... I was the one pumping and dumping... What can I say? I was horney as hell and well... I figured most people don't stay with the one they lose it too so why not just go ahead and have fun. I was safe(ish - I was on the edge of a cliff at the time) and used condoms. He was a holiday romance guy... I am not bothered at all... For some its a big thing for others its not. For us to enter into discussion about how some girl feels is pointless as we are never going to know unless Barcode actually talks to her about it and tells us about it... which I doubt is going to happen... Just saying! 1
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 I treated her nicely and took things really slow for her and made sure her first time was a positive experience. She grimaced a bit at first (even with lots of preparation and lube) but I went slow and it quickly got better for her. I've never had sex with a Virgin before, but amazingly she didn't bleed She was really inexperienced so I don't think she was lying. However I got the vibe she just wanted to get it over with. At 4 days later she hasn't sent a peep my way since that evening. I was even respectful and texted her to make sure she got home OK that night, and wished her good night. That night she texted me saying "Thank you for tonight!". I don't think any feelings here got hurt, and in no way did I manipulate her to come home with me by saying I had feelings/etc. So I don't think I did anything terribly wrong. 1
Toodaloo Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 but amazingly she didn't bleed Many don't... When I was young it was around 50/50 between those of us who did and didn't. I had a bit of spotting a few days later and a few cramps but that was it... I grabbed the poor chap again the following day and tried out the beach!
markleymassraff Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 It's normal for most men of Barcode's age. It's not only different for men, it's different for a wide variety of people. You look at this as per your personal feelings and views on the matter but there are many women that seek ONS or have sex with belong their standard men, especially when alcohol in involved. No, it's not just my personal feelings or views on the matter. I know there are women who seek ONS or have sex with below their standard of men when alcohol is involved. But it's generally true that more women than men have to actually like a guy in an emotional/personality way to enjoy sex with him. Saying "it's different for men" (as I did) doesn't mean I don't acknowledge that some women do a certain thing (have sex without even being truly into a guy) sometimes.
markleymassraff Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) Two interesting topics (that may be OTish) - first meet sex and alcohol sex. I wonder how many people really do both. I tend to do neither, believe it or not. If a first meet/date is going really well I'll usually limit it to kissing and also either have or schedule and STD discussion, and I rarely have more than a couple drinks bc the best sex imo is (by far) sober sex. When you have all your faculties, you can engage all your faculties. I've had alcohol sex with people I'm already with (we're dating and have had sex sober many times too.). I don't count that as alcohol-influenced sex in the sense that I would have (and have) had sex with the guy sober as well; I like(d) him. But as far as "first time sex" / "what got me to have sex in the first place" -- I would say I was only influenced by alcohol once. And the guy wasn't by any means way below my standards. He was actually decent looking facially (and his body was even better.) His voice was kinda weird and nasally (my friends who met him thought he had an annoying voice), and I can't say I was into him personality-wise (didn't know him very well.) But I definitely think alcohol kinda encouraged me to just go ahead and do it with him. Fortunately, he's not someone I regret at all. For a "drunken sex situation," I'd say I even did well. He was highly educated, reasonably handsome, very clean, and definitely fit. I just wasn't attracted in a "whole person" way (personality, behavior, values, attitude), in part bc I didn't know him very well, at the time I had sex with him. Edited June 4, 2015 by markleymassraff
aloneinaz Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 No, it's not just my personal feelings or views on the matter. I know there are women who seek ONS or have sex with below their standard of men when alcohol is involved. But it's generally true that more women than men have to actually like a guy in an emotional/personality way to enjoy sex with him. Saying "it's different for men" (as I did) doesn't mean I don't acknowledge that some women do a certain thing (have sex without even being truly into a guy) sometimes. At the end of the day, we're all adults in the dating arena. I think women and men in their 30/40's don't view sex as a big a deal as teens or 20 some things. Sometimes you meet a date and the earth, moon and stars align or you simply horny. You say "WTH" and enjoy each others bodies. As I mentioned, a had a couple ONS where it was obvious they simply wanted to get laid. Did I feel "dirty" afterwards or say "just put the money on the dresser and leave"? Nah, I enjoyed it as much as they did.
pteromom Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I also don't get why so few people think this girl could be telling the truth about being a virgin. I mean, I don't doubt that some women lie. But people lose their virginity in all kinds of contexts. There are people who for years talk about saving themselves and wanting it (v-loss) to be meaningful and special, or wanting it only in the context of a serious relationship, but who then wake up one day and think....f*ck it, I really wanna have sex. Especially since it was 3 days before her birthday. Maybe she didn't want to turn whatever age she is turning as a virgin.
markleymassraff Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) It's normal for most men of Barcode's age. It's not only different for men, it's different for a wide variety of people. You look at this as per your personal feelings and views on the matter but there are many women that seek ONS or have sex with belong their standard men, especially when alcohol in involved. Also, he described them as having had a couple drinks but in no way emphasized any "we were so drunk" kind of situation. (Maybe they were, in fact, "really drunk," but that wasn't how it read to me, from his orig. post.) In other words, they were both pretty well in their right minds. My saying that women don't have sex too often, in their right minds, with guys they're not that into, is true. Men more often do. When alcohol is involved in a significant way, of course some women will do things that they wouldn't have otherwise. Edited June 4, 2015 by markleymassraff
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 She had 1 drink, I had 2. We did take a walk after drinking before going back to my place so I'm sure she was MOSTLY sober by the time we hooked up. I might have had a slight buzz but was also mostly sober.
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