Heavy flirting, strong interest, want to ask her out but won't see her for a month

[centaur of attention]

This girl was a friend of mine but then her boyfriend dumped her several months ago. At the beginning I just did friend stuff that was fun for both of us but as time progressed things turned in a more romantic direction. The last time we hung out, two weeks ago, we spent most of the day together and did unquestionable date things. One person even referred to us as a couple, to which we both sort of just smiled then pretended to be for the rest of the day.

 

Getting to the point, I want to ask her out on a proper date but because of her work schedule and her being in a different city, the soonest I will see her in person is in like 3 weeks.

 

For the past two weeks we have been texting almost every day, just stories, banter, flirting and stuff. I need to figure out how to keep what we have alive until I can ask her out.

 

Thank you all so much for the help

[Redhead14]

This girl was a friend of mine but then her boyfriend dumped her several months ago. At the beginning I just did friend stuff that was fun for both of us but as time progressed things turned in a more romantic direction. The last time we hung out, two weeks ago, we spent most of the day together and did unquestionable date things. One person even referred to us as a couple, to which we both sort of just smiled then pretended to be for the rest of the day.

 

Getting to the point, I want to ask her out on a proper date but because of her work schedule and her being in a different city, the soonest I will see her in person is in like 3 weeks.

 

For the past two weeks we have been texting almost every day, just stories, banter, flirting and stuff. I need to figure out how to keep what we have alive until I can ask her out.

 

Thank you all so much for the help

 

You can ask her for a date now and schedule it for a few days after she gets back. And, in the meantime, keep good communication. Don't go overboard, but be consistent. Confirm the date a few days ahead.

[centaur of attention]

You can ask her for a date now and schedule it for a few days after she gets back.

 

I have always found that asking a girl out over phone or text is weak but is this a case where that is not true? Would it be better to just keep up the flirting and what have you until I see her?

[Redhead14]

I have always found that asking a girl out over phone or text is weak but is this a case where that is not true? Would it be better to just keep up the flirting and what have you until I see her?

 

A phone call is fine especially in this case. To me texting is always weak. Texting for making plans etc. stinks in my book.

 

If you want her to really understand that your interest is strong, don't let 3 weeks go by with just texting to keep things alive.

[Torii]

In all honesty, I say take the risk. You won't see her for at least 3 weeks like you told us. You'll never know what she really feels for you until you ask her out. Some women love when a man is upfront with them; be a gentleman and let her know that you want to take her on whatever it is you consider a real date. In my opinion though, since you've already been out together and have obviously enjoyed your time together, that you've already experienced going on a real date with one another.

 

 

The smile on your faces should have proved that already. Sometimes the smallest of gestures can mean the absolute world to a woman.

[centaur of attention]

I agree, I would say that the things we have been doing are dates but neither of us have acknowledged that in a serious way (though we have joked about it). I have been bitten in the butt by the friend zone before so I want to make sure we are both thinking the same thing.

 

On another note we have talked about going on a road trip together next month when she is available. Is this a good move? Or should I try to acheive more clarity in how we both see things before we do something like that.

 

Or am I wrong to try to get this clarity at this point? Should we just keep 'dating' without either of us really acknowledging it for a while?

 

Again thanks everyone for the help!

[Redhead14]

I agree, I would say that the things we have been doing are dates but neither of us have acknowledged that in a serious way (though we have joked about it). I have been bitten in the butt by the friend zone before so I want to make sure we are both thinking the same thing.

 

On another note we have talked about going on a road trip together next month when she is available. Is this a good move? Or should I try to acheive more clarity in how we both see things before we do something like that.

 

Or am I wrong to try to get this clarity at this point? Should we just keep 'dating' without either of us really acknowledging it for a while?

 

 

Or should I try to acheive more clarity in how we both see things before we do something like that. It is never too soon to make sure you and a dating partner are on the same page for what you each want for yourselves out of your dating experiences. Once you know you both want the same things for yourselves in general, it's a much easier process.

 

Go out on a few dates, make sure you're on the same page at that point, and let it develop naturally. You aren't being specific as to whether it would be with each other at this point, it's just a common goal.

 

I wouldn't plan trips like this for until after at least a couple of months of dating and after exclusivity has been declared. Don't rush things or put too much pressure too soon. Spending too much time early on is pressure and a little smothering in the beginning.

[centaur of attention]

[/b] I wouldn't plan trips like this for until after at least a couple of months of dating and after exclusivity has been declared. Don't rush things or put too much pressure too soon. Spending too much time early on is pressure and a little smothering in the beginning.

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

Just to put a little context to the trip, we have been friends forever and were thinking of going and visiting a mutual friend for a weekend and doing some other stuff on the way back

[Redhead14]

[/b] I wouldn't plan trips like this for until after at least a couple of months of dating and after exclusivity has been declared. Don't rush things or put too much pressure too soon. Spending too much time early on is pressure and a little smothering in the beginning.

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

Just to put a little context to the trip, we have been friends forever and were thinking of going and visiting a mutual friend for a weekend and doing some other stuff on the way back

 

Well, since you are now attempting to change the "face" of the relationship, you kinda need to put the friends forever thing in the background and treat it like any new dating scenario. This is another spin on things.

 

I'd wait until after she's back and you've had a couple or few dates and then make the decision about the trip.

[d0nnivain]

When there is an element of distance involved or other logistical issues using the phone to ask for a date is just fine. Do not use text or FB or some other method but a call is just fine.

 

As for the road trip, I'd want a bit more romantic interactions before an extended overnight so perhaps discuss that in more detail when you see each other