7675 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Ex girl ended things a week ago, saying i was not giving her space and acting obsessed. I've posted a few times about it, first serious relationship for me (even though it wasn't long) so i needed the advice. I've done NC for a week, but now i feel like i should send an apology text and then restart the NC. When things ended, I basically bombarded her with texts and calls until she eventually texted me saying I should leave her alone and delete her number. I was being pathetic, this isn't me showing low self esteem or anything, its just the truth. I also had a little dig at her. Honestly, she probably thinks I'm really lame right now. Anyway, I'm finally thinking much more clearly, but I can't get over the fact that I should probably apologise for the way I acted. Nothing long or overly emotional or anything like that. Just a small message. I plan on trying to get in touch with her in July either way. Any thoughts?
Lizrd3000 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 I doubt you're ''finally thinking much more clearly'' after just one week... 1
FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 It's not worth it man. Just let it go how it ended but if you truly feel that way then use it for yourself. Learn from it. It would look in a way that you want her to think that way. For your own sake let it go man. You may not be ready for what could be said. Yes I do say that negatively.
Author 7675 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 I am. Originally, i wanted to talk to her to try get her back. I still want that, but right now I just want to apologise. I'm worried that I may have offended her a little
Shetland Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Don't apologize. Thank us later. Honestly, from my point of view, I believe everyone deserves a little begging and pleading after a breakup. It's a natural instinct, and if you don't do it, you weren't that into her or you have great self control. She should understand that putting you through a breakup will cause you to act irrationally and you should not apologize for that. Just stop where you are and cut contact. 2
Lizrd3000 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 I am. Originally, i wanted to talk to her to try get her back. I still want that, but right now I just want to apologise. I'm worried that I may have offended her a little By contacting her, AGAIN, you'll just do the same thing all over again. Give her space like she desires. You're still trying to get her back by appologizing. 1
aloneinaz Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 I am. Originally, i wanted to talk to her to try get her back. I still want that, but right now I just want to apologise. I'm worried that I may have offended her a little You're looking for validation to contact her again. I doubt anyone here is going to provide that for you. You really need to simply leave her alone. If you continue to contact her, she may think you're becoming a stalker. Any contact from you is going to make her think even less of you. Don't do it.. 2
dumbass2 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 (edited) Problems with being obsessive and needy will turn a girl off, so last thing you want to do is send her anything. Write the apology letter and send it to a friend or save it on your computer if that helps. She has asked you to leave her alone right now. do that and commit to at least 30 more days NC and then revisit where you are at emotionally with the whole thing. Try to understand why you are so obsessive and needy with her. You must define that before you can work to improve yourself. No girl will find that attractive and she s not going to believe it is improved in just 30 days either. Right now, time away is best for both of you and for you to have any shot in the future again with her. Edited June 2, 2015 by dumbass2 1
dyna85 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 No. Do not contact her. You'll be falling into the trap like some other posters who contact their ex every few days/weeks/months, and are stuck in a purgatory of their own creation. Do exactly what she told you. Leave her alone and delete her number. Consider your silence the apology, not that you even need to apologize. Don't you think contacting her a week after she told you to stop is going to further demonstrate that you are not giving her space and acting obsessed? You'll just be proving her right. If you want to prove her wrong, you need to go in the other direction. Go against the urge right now. 1 week of no contact and the urge is going to be intense. Do not allow it to overcome you and make you do something you will later regret. 2
Author 7675 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 Alright. Thanks for all the advice I'll leave it. I can already feel the urge is gone. I will eventually get back in contact with her though, but i'll figure all of that out later on
aloneinaz Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Alright. Thanks for all the advice I'll leave it. I can already feel the urge is gone. I will eventually get back in contact with her though, but i'll figure all of that out later on Honestly, you should really not contact her again. There's no reason too.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 I will eventually get back in contact with her though, but i'll figure all of that out later on This a bad idea. Like really bad. Leave her be. The best apology you can give is through silence and letting her live her life without any interference from you.
mightycpa Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 At some point, all of us felt like we needed to apologize for something. The ones who actually did will tell you what a bad idea that turned out to be. 1
Redhead14 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Ex girl ended things a week ago, saying i was not giving her space and acting obsessed. I've posted a few times about it, first serious relationship for me (even though it wasn't long) so i needed the advice. I've done NC for a week, but now i feel like i should send an apology text and then restart the NC. When things ended, I basically bombarded her with texts and calls until she eventually texted me saying I should leave her alone and delete her number. I was being pathetic, this isn't me showing low self esteem or anything, its just the truth. I also had a little dig at her. Honestly, she probably thinks I'm really lame right now. Anyway, I'm finally thinking much more clearly, but I can't get over the fact that I should probably apologise for the way I acted. Nothing long or overly emotional or anything like that. Just a small message. I plan on trying to get in touch with her in July either way. Any thoughts? You bombarded her with texts and calls after she dumped you for being clingy and obsessed? Don't send her another text or call to apologize! If you're giving her space, give her space. Space is space. If she is going to reconsider, she will need to see from you that you "get it". Don't contact her again. Live you life and focus on that. 1
mightycpa Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 You bombarded her with texts and calls after she dumped you for being clingy and obsessed? Don't send her another text or call to apologize! If you're giving her space, give her space. Space is space. If she is going to reconsider, she will need to see from you that you "get it". Don't contact her again. Live you life and focus on that.This post made me think of a great way to explain it to you. She didn't say you should leave her alone and delete her number unless you want to apologize. She just said to leave her alone and delete her number. Period.
foolinlove79 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 If you contact her again you will look sad and desperate. Who wants to date that guy? Dont do it.....ever.
Author 7675 Posted June 3, 2015 Author Posted June 3, 2015 I understand what you're all saying, but there's a bit more to it. I basically forced her into it. She didn't even want to end things but I pushed and pushed until she got pissed. I should've left her alone right after that, but i panicked and sent a bunch of texts. Thats when she said leave me alone. I honestly think we were both just being irrational. I realize how i messed up, and i'm hoping a bit of time will calm things down. Hey, if i'm wrong then you all get to say "told you so" but if i'm right... well, only 1 way to find out
Simon Phoenix Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 I understand what you're all saying, but there's a bit more to it. I basically forced her into it. She didn't even want to end things but I pushed and pushed until she got pissed. I should've left her alone right after that, but i panicked and sent a bunch of texts. Thats when she said leave me alone. I honestly think we were both just being irrational. I realize how i messed up, and i'm hoping a bit of time will calm things down. Hey, if i'm wrong then you all get to say "told you so" but if i'm right... well, only 1 way to find out If she wants any interaction from you, she'll contact you. Honestly, you sound like a fool right now. Contacting someone to apologize for being way too clingy is hypocritical. Leave it alone.
Author 7675 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 She responded. I know, I know, just breadcrumbs. but considering that the last time she texted me she told me to leave her alone, I figure its something. How should I proceed though?
SunnySide0418 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 She responded. I know, I know, just breadcrumbs. but considering that the last time she texted me she told me to leave her alone, I figure its something. How should I proceed though? What did you write and what was her response?
Author 7675 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 Said i passed by the place where we had our first date (restaurant), and that it reminded me of her, so i just wanted to say hi, and i hope everything is going well. her response was plain. but considering she wanted nothing to do with me 10 days ago, i'll take plain over "leave me alone" she said she was there as well (later on) mentioned something about the food, then said goodnight. her response was 10 hours later though. should i just leave it, should i say goodnight as well. I honestly was not expecting it at all
DexterLS Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Said i passed by the place where we had our first date (restaurant), and that it reminded me of her, so i just wanted to say hi, and i hope everything is going well. her response was plain. but considering she wanted nothing to do with me 10 days ago, i'll take plain over "leave me alone" she said she was there as well (later on) mentioned something about the food, then said goodnight. her response was 10 hours later though. should i just leave it, should i say goodnight as well. I honestly was not expecting it at all You think this communication is helping you to get her back? Why are you still doing this? This looks so pathetic to me and if anything, you're pushing her farther away because she knows you still pine for her. Please have some dignity and initiate No Contact NOW.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Said i passed by the place where we had our first date (restaurant), and that it reminded me of her, so i just wanted to say hi, and i hope everything is going well. her response was plain. but considering she wanted nothing to do with me 10 days ago, i'll take plain over "leave me alone" she said she was there as well (later on) mentioned something about the food, then said goodnight. her response was 10 hours later though. should i just leave it, should i say goodnight as well. I honestly was not expecting it at all Dude..........
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