Male Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 I dated a few musicians in my time and they weren't ugly by the way. Most of the time what drew me in was the passion they showed. If they were really passionate and into what they were doing that was a huge turn on for me. The way they could let all their emotions out and expose them. I could put a lot of passion and time into working on my race car, and racing it at the track....but that would be a negative situation for most women. But if a guy puts passion and time into music, its OK...because most women enjoy music. A guy being passionate about something isnt the issue...it depends on whether or not the woman deems his passion worthy or not in her mind. 1
compulsivedancer Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 He was considering studying music when we met, but was a long ways from being a musician. I had been pretty musical in high school and we connected a bit on that level at first (though he soon surpassed me). We fell in love, but it had nothing to do with him being a musician. As he developed his craft and became a talented musician, I encouraged him in whatever he wanted to do.
Keenly Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 When some one says "Most musicians are ugly" I can't help but think you are just jealous of one in particular. Develop a skill and maybe you'll be admired for it. 1
Author singlelife Posted June 3, 2015 Author Posted June 3, 2015 Successful artists' date=' not limited to musicians, can be very adept at creating emotional resonances through their work and passion. This quality is very attractive to many people, not just women.[/quote'] I think it is hard for people to express themselves. So when a musician or artist can then it's probably considered awesome like you said.
Maleficent Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 What happened? LOL Do you have the week end? To be fair, I was also a musician so I had front row seats at the backstage non-sense. This probably has a bigger impact on my never wanting to date a musician again than my actual personal experiences...
Tayla Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Positives: Dedication to their talent. Collaborations.Constant practice. Willing to evolve. Negatives: Can be stringent and arrogant. I find overall the key points of the positives are good habits in a healthy relationship. Met a few "front Men" singers who had a great presentation on stage (performers) ,but they weren't true musicians in how I define them.
Fleur de cactus Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I dont think ugliness has anything to do with love and attraction. I only think that musicians should date musicians since they play late night, they travel a lot and they are more likely to intimate with people who are doing music with them. I is not a good idea to date a musician if you are not going to do music together, i dont think they can be faithful if you are not with them.
ascendotum Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 I could put a lot of passion and time into working on my race car, and racing it at the track....but that would be a negative situation for most women. But if a guy puts passion and time into music, its OK...because most women enjoy music. A guy being passionate about something isnt the issue...it depends on whether or not the woman deems his passion worthy or not in her mind. Yeh I call BS on the passion element as the big attractor too. Its there to a certain extent, but there are many other guys who have passion for their career or past time who don't get BJs from random girls for it. As someone else mentioned its the singers or guitarists who get the bulk of the attraction. The guy could play in a covers band or in a pub just strumming a guitar to recorded backup music and it still does the trick, though not as much as if he was on stage in a rock band. Do the guys in orchestras take part in gangbangs...I doubt it. What about carpenters who hand make their furniture or build boats, guys who code apps, guys who renovate houses, guys who leave their job and start their own business. Nah. Basically with my friends there was a strong corelation to how they looked and how well they did with women, but the standout exceptions were the guys I knew who were in bands. They were average lookers but punched well above their weight. Shoot I knew one guy that had the punk/emo rocker look and was in a garage band with his mates, that never made it past playing in garage because they were shyte and knew it, but it was just for fun and for telling chicks they were in a band and getting the 'OMG wow your so cool' lays.
Author singlelife Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 I dont think ugliness has anything to do with love and attraction. I only think that musicians should date musicians since they play late night, they travel a lot and they are more likely to intimate with people who are doing music with them. I is not a good idea to date a musician if you are not going to do music together, i dont think they can be faithful if you are not with them. so the groupie love is that strong?
autumnnight Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Alice Cooper? Mick Jagger? Steven Tyler? Ric Ocasek? I stand corrected
Author singlelife Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 I stand corrected Has to be the music.
carhill Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Heh, this is what a musician was when my parents pushed me into music. Elvis and the Beatles were 'performers'. IME, the 'why' is pretty simple. Music touches and inspires our emotions. Ergo...
Tiger Lily Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Women are attracted to power (which comes in many different forms, including the power of being able to lead a band or make music). I also think that as men are visual creatures, women are auditory. I always think back to Eve in the garden of Eden. She was tempted by the snake who told her what she wanted to hear. I think what we hear has a tremendous affect on us. If I hear a sexy male voice, it can really affect me emotionally! I think I see the reaction to musicians in women the way men react to Playboy playmates (meaning they can become lustfully attached to them). Not only do sexy voices and guitar riffs make a mark, but telling a woman how beautiful she is, and how much she is loved is like air or water to most women...we really need to hear it (often!). Of course, there are exceptions, but most women need to hear that their man is really in to them. If not, doubts can quickly arise. So anyway, I think the magnetism of musicians has something to do with the way women are wired. I really don't see men going crazy over female musicians in the same way. Men are just more visually enticed, imo.
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Yeh I call BS on the passion element as the big attractor too. Its there to a certain extent, but there are many other guys who have passion for their career or past time who don't get BJs from random girls for it. As someone else mentioned its the singers or guitarists who get the bulk of the attraction. The guy could play in a covers band or in a pub just strumming a guitar to recorded backup music and it still does the trick, though not as much as if he was on stage in a rock band. Do the guys in orchestras take part in gangbangs...I doubt it. What about carpenters who hand make their furniture or build boats, guys who code apps, guys who renovate houses, guys who leave their job and start their own business. Nah. Basically with my friends there was a strong corelation to how they looked and how well they did with women, but the standout exceptions were the guys I knew who were in bands. They were average lookers but punched well above their weight. Shoot I knew one guy that had the punk/emo rocker look and was in a garage band with his mates, that never made it past playing in garage because they were shyte and knew it, but it was just for fun and for telling chicks they were in a band and getting the 'OMG wow your so cool' lays. I think this may account for the majority of 'musician love,' but that's not really what it is. It's pop culture love and seeking acceptance/safety within it. Way different than someone who's genuinely moved by music or a performance or what have you. My BF can be really appealing just sitting at his workstation composing sth for example, even if he looks frumpy. Especially if it's a moving melody. That's different than wanting to bang the talentless guy who happens to be jumping around on-stage and who's getting all the attention, ergo coolness by association. btw Tiger Lilly, I think women vocalists are the only ones who matter. Total swoon moment here for a woman with a beautiful voice. 1
Tiger Lily Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 btw Tiger Lilly, I think women vocalists are the only ones who matter. Total swoon moment here for a woman with a beautiful voice. Really? I LOVE women vocalists! Not in a romantic way though. But I do think they are very underrepresented in the music world. Actually, women artists have a lot to conquer to make it in music. But I could never say men don't matter! 1
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Yeah, they do matter and they can be good, but there's just something about the typical vocal range of a woman that hits the sweet spot for me. I think women's voices were 'meant' for music, while men's voices can sometimes work for music.
preraph Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Musicians are not for everyone. They are like one of those jobs that don't pay well but you love the work. Only do it if that's your passion. I dated mostly musicians, if you could even call it dating. There are no normal rules as far as a conventional relationship goes. There is usually no fidelity. My deal was I loved music as much as they did, so I actually approved of them putting their instrument and band ahead of me because I felt it served the greater good. I understood and enforced that at gigs, they shouldn't have the girlfriend obviously on their arm because it's bad for business. If you don't support their art, it will likely be nothing but an uphill battle that you will lose.
carhill Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo: 'We're Like Johnny and June' | Rolling Stone Having done these hit songs for so many years, how do you keep things interesting for yourselves on stage? Benatar: It's not like there are not days when you're really tired or you've got personal stuff going on. But the minute you get out there, it's on. You're back where you belong. Giraldo: It's a chemical thing, too. The endorphins do make a difference. Offstage, I'm the nicest guy; I'll be kissing babies, hugging. As soon as I hit the stage, I've got Jerry Lee Lewis blood. Sometimes when I'm coming off, I've got to really be by myself because I'm so worked up and so nuts at that point. I need to come down. Benatar: You can't talk to him. Giraldo: You can't be near me because I get pretty nuts. But leaving the Jerry Lee Lewis blood out there is great. Benatar: I completely come down. Boom! The minute it stops, I'm really happy. Giraldo: She's super-mellow; I'm super-charged. ============= Married 32 years. Anyone who's seen Neil work the guitar in person understands why, even at his age, he still has female groupies. It's as much the music as it is the aura of complex emotional 'stuff' which emanates from him when 'in the zone'. While a lot of us (men) know the feeling, public musicians get to display it 'out there' where everyone can take it in. Pretty intoxicating. 1
autumnnight Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Maybe this sounds odd to some, but there is something about a creative and artistic bent in a person that just seems to make them seem more...open? Expressive? Not always, but the musicians I know seem to have more of an understanding of and tolerance for emotion and things that do not fit neatly into a box. I like that. 1
preraph Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 ^ I agree. I find being around a writing musician (as compared to a studio musician or technical musician) usually intoxicating. Not always, but usually their creativity carries over to their personality, though there are exceptions where their best selves only come out while they're performing. One of my old loves (impossible to classify the relationship) was so poetic and charming. It added up to an element of old world romance. It's rarely boring sitting around with musicians if they're constantly creating and playing and writing. And I loved men with style, and not that they all have that, far from it these days, but it was the best bet for it back in the 70s. I loved the glam rockers best. Creative in every facet. I was never stupid enough to think I should marry one, though. For that, I needed someone as dependable and responsible in other ways as I was. The guy I mentioned above often found himself nearly homeless and you never knew where he might be other than at music things and he usually came by my place frequently. Once he went missing for a bit and I found out he'd been living and mooching off a female chef he'd discovered. I'm sure he felt he'd hit the motherlode, plus she had boobs. Funny how you adjust to the way it is. Like when she and I finally discovered each other, we immediately met for a drink. Decades later when he came to town, we all went out to eat together, including her husband and family. There was never any animosity. It was "What are we going to do about Clif?" "Is he there all the time or also staying somewhere else?" It cleared up a lot of mysteries for both of us. But I mean, if I had car trouble, I wouldn't have been able to just call him to come get me. But I was always there for him that way. People that creative are not usually great at organization and money. I only met a couple of exceptions to that where a musician was both a smart businessman and a creative musician. They're just living in their head so much of the time. But I confess, I loved them to death. It wasn't conducive to marriage or even monogamy, but it was what I loved because music was my passion as well.
Taramere Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 I think this may account for the majority of 'musician love,' but that's not really what it is. It's pop culture love and seeking acceptance/safety within it. Way different than someone who's genuinely moved by music or a performance or what have you. My BF can be really appealing just sitting at his workstation composing sth for example, even if he looks frumpy. Especially if it's a moving melody. That's different than wanting to bang the talentless guy who happens to be jumping around on-stage and who's getting all the attention, ergo coolness by association. btw Tiger Lilly, I think women vocalists are the only ones who matter. Total swoon moment here for a woman with a beautiful voice. I've got to agree. I'm straight, but women's singing voices do more for me emotionally. I always assumed it's because being female myself I feel as though their expressing my emotions. As for why women date musicians, er Music connects people. When somebody's making music you connect very instantly and easily with them. I love this footage of Beyonce singing "Halo" in a hospital. She could be a complete nobody, but she could still bring that happy atmosphere to a room just by bringing music to it. Why wouldn't people want to date musicians? 1
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