Feel like im going crazy

[Heatemyheart89]

I was with my ex for around 9 months . I saw a future with him and he discussed moving in together .We had an argument ( can't even remember what over )and it was over . I said I wanted him back and he said we are incompatible .Thing is I'm going insane , but he seems to be okay . In the past he has just cut women off an moved on quickly . I think this is what he is doing to me .

 

I spoke to him everyday and now I feel lost . I'm improving myself by having therapy and have a job interview coming up . I'm finding it very difficult to move on .We are NC he is sticking to it , I havn't.

 

I feel like this won't get better , it's agony much worse than I thought it would be if we broke up . I keep wanting to say to him : 'why are you okay and I'm not !!!' Deep down I want to go NC forever , but I want him to come back .

 

Should I take the plunge and just block him and move on completely ?I've degraded myself quite a few times with texts like ' I miss you '

Edited June 1, 2015 by Heatemyheart89

[Ruby65]

Breaking up is really really hard -- but if you cut contact, block him everywhere, and try to focus on yourself and your own life, your own well-being, IN TIME it gets much better.

 

But first you have to stop re-injuring yourself with fresh new incoming pain. No more contact. Block him on every site and app you use. Every one. And block him on your phone -- or change your number. Block him on your email so you're not checking for messages all the time.

 

Once you get him blocked and kept away from your daily life, you can relax and face really healing.

 

Let the other people in your life support you through this, online and off. Try to pamper yourself with gentle exercise, soaking in a hot tub, crashing on the sofa with ice cream and DVDs.... whatever you do when you're not feeling well to cheer yourself up.

 

Exercise is very important for chemically improving your mood. It WILL make you feel happier, so do something every day.

 

Keep posting -- keep letting OTHER people be there to support you, not him.

He's not going to help you feel better now... only worse.

 

Contact = Pain

No Contact = Healing

 

Keep going forward -- it gets easier with time.

[jen1447]

If it's any comfort to you, you actually are going crazy - temporarily. All kinds of weird chemical stuff I won't get into goes on in the brain with sexual/romantic bonding, and when that stops it's like detoxing.

 

So don't feel bad about that or scared because it's normal. It'll go away in time.

[aloneinaz]

I'm sorry your hurting so bad. I know how painful that it is. Ruby made great points in her post.

 

 

You indicated you've embarrassed yourself with "miss you" texts. This is adding more pain to you as well. You're also doing a lot of "assuming". You think he's walking around with a big smile on his face, loving life. In all reality, that's not what's happening with him. No one leaves a relationship un-harmed..

 

 

Once you cut off contact with him, you'll find yourself feeling much better. I went strict NC after my last break up and it was critical in my healing and moving on. I met my now GF several months later and am the happiest I've been in my life.

[Shetland]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. I had a relationship that also lasted 9 months and was left suddenly. Saw a future with her and everything. It's an extremely terrible feeling. and Yea I also sent a bunch of stupid texts. I honestly should have cut contact as soon as I did. so don't contact him anymore! You'll regret that later

 

 

I felt extremely lost also and had no idea what was going on in my life. It feels like someone just ripped you into a different dimension.

 

 

Like everyone says. Block or de-activate. That's what I did and I feel better now. Healing is unfortunately a really slow process, but have faith that it is occurring. There will be good days and really really bad days, but just try to hang in there. That's what everyone here is for.

[dyna85]

Rest assured that you are not going crazy. You're acting in desperation b/c that's what happens when you are forced to detach from someone you care about. Of course you don't want that person to leave so you pull out all stops. If anything, it proves that love means something to you and you have a big, caring heart.

 

As for advice, yes you should take the plunge and block him and go full NC. It won't be easy, but you need to stop pushing for him when he's off in lala land. Let him deal with his stuff and you deal with yours. He wanted you gone, so say bye-bye and let him have his wish.

 

You're doing yourself a disservice by continuing to give him consideration when he's giving you the cold shoulder.

 

It's like rejection from a job. It sucks, and it's depressing, but you move on and apply elsewhere, and then you end up with a better job and you're so thankful you didn't stay down, and instead pursued other options.

 

I know that's oversimplifying matters, and believe me, I was in severe distress in the early days of NC, and even now I get really panicky at times (like today I thought of him all day while at work, and during lunch -- mind you, I'm over FIVE months NC -- I felt tempted to text him). However, for your emotional well being, you need to stop adding fuel to the fire.

 

It's just amplifying your feelings of rejection, each time you contact him and he shows you yet again that he doesn't care.

 

Just say no to contacting him. Eliminate it as an option. Know why you are doing it (going NC) (b/c you deserve someone who wants you and you love yourself enough to recognize this as truth) and just do it. We're here to support you along the way.

 

Don't judge yourself so harshly for feeling the wave of emotions crashing upon you continuously throughout the journey. That's just how it is.

 

You will heal in time though. NC is the only way though. I mean it.